It is blog season is it not? Time off from work, time in the house...with kids...bored kids...who want to eat everything in sight. Time to look around the house and want to repaint, again, and redecorate, again. It probably actually saves me money to work not just for the simple fact that I am making money but it keeps me from changing things every six months or so. By the time I get home, cook dinner, clean up dishes, make lunches and help with homework I don't really care what color the walls are!! It's been nice though. I had a much needed 2 1/2 hour phone conversation with my best friend. (Don't judge me!) You know what I'm talking about. One of those times when things have been so hectic you haven't had time to catch up so you catch up. I did vacuum the entire house and straighten thoroughly in the process so I was pragmatic if nothing else!
As we were talking we touched on all kinds of things about life: love, staying married, raising kids, loving the Lord, aging, dying, decorating. Isn't it great to have that kind of connection with someone? Someone who accepts you for you - the good, the bad and the ugly. Oh, and there have been some uglies!! I have said some things to her that I wouldn't be caught dead saying to anyone else and she understands. She knows my heart as well as anyone. But Jesus, He knows my heart even better than her because He searches my heart. Sometimes I think there are things I can hide from Him or keep from Him. Sometimes I think if I don't verbalize something or bring it to His attention that He is oblivious. As if I can fool God as easily as I can fool people. But He knows me better than I know me. He knows the words before I say them, the thoughts before I have them and the actions before I do them. He knows the intents of my heart and I cannot be hidden from Him (Hebrews 4:12-13). I want my heart to be pure before Him.
Have you ever tried really hard to change the way you feel about a thing or a person? If you are bitter towards someone can you just stop? If you are angry or jealous or lustful can you just stop?
The longer I live the more I realize I can't just stop! This process of purity and sanctification is not of me! I am not capable of being any different on the inside on my own ability. I can change the outside. I can eat less, exercise more. Smile more, talk less. Be nice to the mean people in holiday traffic. (By the way, if you are wanting to test out "Love your neighbor as yourself," check out your local Target or Sams during Christmas - either will do.) This is what is so amazing about grace. Grace makes us different. God intervenes in our lives BY HIS GRACE and changes us. That is why I can say, "Jesus makes me who I am not!" I am a liar, a thief, a murderer, an adulterer, a gossip, a bitter, envious, jealous, malicious woman and if not for God I would live in those old clothes still. But, I have had a wardrobe change!
What a great idea for us as women! God has changed our wardrobe and given us new clothes! It says in Proverbs 31:25 that he clothes us with strength and dignity. It says in Galatians 3:27 that we are clothed in the righteousness of Christ. New clothes! So, what do we do when we get new clothes? We throw out the old clothes because they no longer fit. They don't look good on us anymore. If I am content wearing old clothes then what need do I have for new ones? This is what confuses most of the world: new clothes one day, old clothes one day. New clothes in this setting, old clothes in that setting. Just like the church at Laodicea - lukewarm. It's as if people are wondering, "who are you anyway?"
Authenticity. Christ-likeness. This is what God calls us to when He saves us. Reflect Christ. Make His glory known. In all settings, to everyone. Why? Because we are wearing His clothes! There's no greater compliment then for someone to want your clothes! But, this is a high calling. Reflect God. Not only that, but all the time! How? Know Him. Study Him. Love Him. Do you love Him? Is He the greatest thing that has ever happened to you? Is He your abundant life and abiding joy? I could say that right now but I might feel otherwise tomorrow. Wait for it. Ask for it. See the trial through. For the testing of your faith produces perseverance and let perseverance have its perfect work that you may be complete lacking nothing (James 1:3-4). AND best of all? People will notice your new outfit!
Monday, December 20, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
Look at the Christmas Light
Hey all, this one is especially long - are you surprised? Anyway, I didn't feel like it had the same impact broken into two parts. Enjoy or something like that :)
Do you ever wonder WHY we celebrate Christmas? The pat answer would be, “Cause its Jesus’ birthday!” I truly hope that I don’t get treated on my birthday like Jesus does on His. Seriously, I’d be downright peeved if everyone else in my life got gifts and spent quality time together on my birthday without me! But I’m not God - thank God! Maybe God has “thicker skin” than we do. (Actually, God is Spirit and we have to be careful when attributing human folly to an infinite God who is “other than us” but that’s another blog post). Most of us, whether we admit it or not, have the attitude, “Thanks Jesus for having a birthday so we can have a few days off from work, give some gifts and get some gifts, eat alot of really good food that is bad for us and generally get worked up into a holiday frenzy! I’ll be sure to throw in some church attendance somewhere over the next few weeks, sing a few Christmas carols along with the radio and toss some loose change into the Salvation Army on my way out of Sams!” Yep, nothing like “Us-mas” - I mean Christmas. I know that none of us would really say that out loud. But our actions are talking for us - loud-ly! I’m certainly not reaching for the plank in your eye without being keenly aware of the log in my own eye..it hurts!
Honestly, I’ve been feeling a little let down by all the tradition this year. I’ve done all of the things that I normally do but to no avail. Just call me Ebenezer. Or maybe call me Tired and Broke! I feel intensely, acutely aware of the fact that Christmas is less than two weeks away and I have nothing festive to say. I have prayed and pulled my hair out over what I want to learn for this Christmas (emphasis again on “I” not “Christ”). Alas, nada....naaaadaaa! Why can’t I rest in Christmas? Oxymoron? When was the last time you saw “rest” and “Christmas” in the same sentence? Let me answer that for you, “Never!” When I get to this point I have to ask myself, “What is it that you are trying to accomplish? What do you want to feel?” I guess I just don’t want to go through the motions without the e-motion to back it up. I have the tree, I’ve sung the carols, I’ve bought the presents, I have baked the cookies, (I’ve gained the weight)... but the sense of peace and joy and “cozy contentment” is illusive.
Possibly, I should make my list and check it twice in order to “keep calm and carry on!” New running tights, some black riding boots, a few candles, hot rollers, a running partner to train for a marathon with me (if you wish to purchase this gift please email), some books etc; Won’t I feel better upon opening these gifts? Won’t I feel better as I run warmly in riding boots, holding a candle while I fix my hair and read? Sure, for December 25th and not to present myself too fickle, probably on into December 26th as well. I’m not as shallow as you thought right? Humanity breeds discontentment in the worst way.
This is where I realize I can’t change me. Try as I may to put all things in order, dot all of the i’s and cross all of the t’s - makes no difference. I can go through the traditions and rituals with an unmotivated heart and I am no better than a Pharisee. I’m doing all that I should, all that the world instructs me I should do to have a “Merry Christmas”. So, what gives? Food and presents are good, vacation and time with family is good, sitting in the freezing cold as Mary with my Joseph is good...
Then it hits me, I am taking the world’s answers, the world’s methods, the world’s traditions (which are no doubt my own by now) and applying them to a much bigger problem...my sin. The world cannot fix my sin. The world cannot fix my heart. “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.” (Jeremiah 17:9) God knew this before the foundation of the world. He knew this and so He provided Christmas and by it He gave us the first and best gift that ever has been or ever will be. He fixes our hearts! “Every GOOD and PERFECT gift comes down from the Father of lights in whom there is NO variation or shadow of turning (James 1:17). This is the gift I need at Christmas, this is the gift you need at Christmas. The gift that is good, in fact perfect, and comes down from heaven and changes not! “This is the gift that keeps on givin’” (credit to Christmas Vacation). Indeed it is! Jesus gives to us past the Christmas season, past the New Year, past this life. We say these things very tongue-in-cheek but is there anything I could want or give this year that would satisfy for all eternity? And yet, the gift exists in Christmas. The day is the gift. Christmas finds its origin in Christ and we, you and I, work so hard to take Him out of it. We do everything we can to ignore the manger, to hide “the light that comes into the world.” It says in John 1:5 that the light came into the world and that the darkness could not conquer it. That literally means it could not overcome it. What that means for us is that whether we acknowledge the Light this Christmas doesn’t change the fact that it exists.
So, I implore you to cast aside the focus on the gifts that will perish anyway and focus on the Christmas Light. Every gift we receive this year will, at some point, rust, wear out, break down or simply stop working. They will be replaced with new gifts next year and the year after that but the gift of the gospel never wears out. It never varies, it never turns and it never needs to be altered or fixed. It is still as good and perfect as the day God gave it over 2000 years ago. Can you imagine? GOD gives us a GIFT. What did He choose to give? Millions of dollars? Great health? Fame? No. He gave Himself. What a gift! What a God!
Christmas is the gospel.
Jesus is God.
Believe God.
Celebrate Jesus.
Do you ever wonder WHY we celebrate Christmas? The pat answer would be, “Cause its Jesus’ birthday!” I truly hope that I don’t get treated on my birthday like Jesus does on His. Seriously, I’d be downright peeved if everyone else in my life got gifts and spent quality time together on my birthday without me! But I’m not God - thank God! Maybe God has “thicker skin” than we do. (Actually, God is Spirit and we have to be careful when attributing human folly to an infinite God who is “other than us” but that’s another blog post). Most of us, whether we admit it or not, have the attitude, “Thanks Jesus for having a birthday so we can have a few days off from work, give some gifts and get some gifts, eat alot of really good food that is bad for us and generally get worked up into a holiday frenzy! I’ll be sure to throw in some church attendance somewhere over the next few weeks, sing a few Christmas carols along with the radio and toss some loose change into the Salvation Army on my way out of Sams!” Yep, nothing like “Us-mas” - I mean Christmas. I know that none of us would really say that out loud. But our actions are talking for us - loud-ly! I’m certainly not reaching for the plank in your eye without being keenly aware of the log in my own eye..it hurts!
Honestly, I’ve been feeling a little let down by all the tradition this year. I’ve done all of the things that I normally do but to no avail. Just call me Ebenezer. Or maybe call me Tired and Broke! I feel intensely, acutely aware of the fact that Christmas is less than two weeks away and I have nothing festive to say. I have prayed and pulled my hair out over what I want to learn for this Christmas (emphasis again on “I” not “Christ”). Alas, nada....naaaadaaa! Why can’t I rest in Christmas? Oxymoron? When was the last time you saw “rest” and “Christmas” in the same sentence? Let me answer that for you, “Never!” When I get to this point I have to ask myself, “What is it that you are trying to accomplish? What do you want to feel?” I guess I just don’t want to go through the motions without the e-motion to back it up. I have the tree, I’ve sung the carols, I’ve bought the presents, I have baked the cookies, (I’ve gained the weight)... but the sense of peace and joy and “cozy contentment” is illusive.
Possibly, I should make my list and check it twice in order to “keep calm and carry on!” New running tights, some black riding boots, a few candles, hot rollers, a running partner to train for a marathon with me (if you wish to purchase this gift please email), some books etc; Won’t I feel better upon opening these gifts? Won’t I feel better as I run warmly in riding boots, holding a candle while I fix my hair and read? Sure, for December 25th and not to present myself too fickle, probably on into December 26th as well. I’m not as shallow as you thought right? Humanity breeds discontentment in the worst way.
This is where I realize I can’t change me. Try as I may to put all things in order, dot all of the i’s and cross all of the t’s - makes no difference. I can go through the traditions and rituals with an unmotivated heart and I am no better than a Pharisee. I’m doing all that I should, all that the world instructs me I should do to have a “Merry Christmas”. So, what gives? Food and presents are good, vacation and time with family is good, sitting in the freezing cold as Mary with my Joseph is good...
Then it hits me, I am taking the world’s answers, the world’s methods, the world’s traditions (which are no doubt my own by now) and applying them to a much bigger problem...my sin. The world cannot fix my sin. The world cannot fix my heart. “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.” (Jeremiah 17:9) God knew this before the foundation of the world. He knew this and so He provided Christmas and by it He gave us the first and best gift that ever has been or ever will be. He fixes our hearts! “Every GOOD and PERFECT gift comes down from the Father of lights in whom there is NO variation or shadow of turning (James 1:17). This is the gift I need at Christmas, this is the gift you need at Christmas. The gift that is good, in fact perfect, and comes down from heaven and changes not! “This is the gift that keeps on givin’” (credit to Christmas Vacation). Indeed it is! Jesus gives to us past the Christmas season, past the New Year, past this life. We say these things very tongue-in-cheek but is there anything I could want or give this year that would satisfy for all eternity? And yet, the gift exists in Christmas. The day is the gift. Christmas finds its origin in Christ and we, you and I, work so hard to take Him out of it. We do everything we can to ignore the manger, to hide “the light that comes into the world.” It says in John 1:5 that the light came into the world and that the darkness could not conquer it. That literally means it could not overcome it. What that means for us is that whether we acknowledge the Light this Christmas doesn’t change the fact that it exists.
So, I implore you to cast aside the focus on the gifts that will perish anyway and focus on the Christmas Light. Every gift we receive this year will, at some point, rust, wear out, break down or simply stop working. They will be replaced with new gifts next year and the year after that but the gift of the gospel never wears out. It never varies, it never turns and it never needs to be altered or fixed. It is still as good and perfect as the day God gave it over 2000 years ago. Can you imagine? GOD gives us a GIFT. What did He choose to give? Millions of dollars? Great health? Fame? No. He gave Himself. What a gift! What a God!
Christmas is the gospel.
Jesus is God.
Believe God.
Celebrate Jesus.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
The Woman Driver and Other Scary Things
If you are keeping up, I actually have 2 1/2 trees decorated at this point. The 1/2 tree is a flame-retardant throw back from the late 1960's. I believe it was a gift from Kraig's parents and from the looks of it, it might have been the first tree they owned! You can see straight through to the base and some of the limbs are falling off. This is affectionately known as the "Charlie Brown" tree and we have it in the den as the kids' tree. Lausyn took on the daunting task of decorating it all by herself this year so we have ALL the ornaments front and center. The perfectionist in me wants to change it but the Mom in me doesn't. This is her start at making a home. The woman in her desires to create and nurture and prepare for those around her. It is up to me to fan that flame within her and encourage the way God has made her.
You know, the world has a lot of ideas and opinions about what we should be as women, as wives, as mothers but only our designer knows what we are and how we do it best. The world tries desperately to rob us of the roles that best suit us, the roles that will make us most content. Instead, the world tries to tell us that we should be like men, that we can be like men and in fact, we can be better than men. How discouraging! I don't want to be a man! I don't want the role of provider and protector! I don't want to get up when things go "bump" in the night. I don't want the responsibility of putting food on the table or keeping the lights on. I want to kiss the boo-boos and make the cookies and plan the birthday parties! I want to pick them up from school and read them bedtime stories and teach them God's word...from my living room! The world is a hard place and definitely no friend of grace. The world is not kind to women. As soon as you get a day over 19 or a few pounds over 110, off you go! It's impossible to keep up!
Thank God the more I study His word about my role as a women I realize this is FOR me, not against me! It lifts me up and crowns me with strength, wisdom, grace and beauty. It exhorts the differences and honors the softer side of me. It encourages me in every aspect of life! We shrink back from all that God has created us to be and as God said to Eve, "Your desire will be for your husband." This does not mean sexually. It means that she will desire his authority. She will try to usurp his leadership. GUILTY! How many times do we boot men, not just our husbands, but men in general out of the driver's seat? Then, when we are tired and don't want to drive anymore we can't find a man around who WANTS to drive, why? Because they don't remember how!! Our society is filled with passive men and dominate women and it is broken! I know because I lived it for years! (I know none of you can believe that if you know me!) Let me clarify. Kraig has never been my doormat, praise God, that is one of the things I love about him, he has my respect! But if I thought he wasn't getting things done fast enough then I would definitely walk around him even if I couldn't walk over him! Does that make sense? Can I get an, "Amen?"
You know when we start to get it right? When we realize that men being men and women being women doesn't conflict. When we aren't threatened every time a man tries to lead! Let's let men do what God has called them to do and go a step farther and praise them for it! Let's be content to be women...to have the door opened for us, to have him pursue us, to have him make the final decision for once. You will be amazed at what takes place in your passive, procrastinator of a man! He will start to listen when you have a request, he will step in to shelter you when things are tough and he will thank God for the woman He has created you to be! A wise woman indeed!
As for Lausyn, I am the one mother and wife that the Lord has given her to watch day in and day out. I write this for her. I write this for all of the women who struggle to be daily what God wants us to be to the world, to our families, co-workers, friends, spouses, children and churches. It isn't always easy but it is so rewarding...carry on Sister, carry on!
You know, the world has a lot of ideas and opinions about what we should be as women, as wives, as mothers but only our designer knows what we are and how we do it best. The world tries desperately to rob us of the roles that best suit us, the roles that will make us most content. Instead, the world tries to tell us that we should be like men, that we can be like men and in fact, we can be better than men. How discouraging! I don't want to be a man! I don't want the role of provider and protector! I don't want to get up when things go "bump" in the night. I don't want the responsibility of putting food on the table or keeping the lights on. I want to kiss the boo-boos and make the cookies and plan the birthday parties! I want to pick them up from school and read them bedtime stories and teach them God's word...from my living room! The world is a hard place and definitely no friend of grace. The world is not kind to women. As soon as you get a day over 19 or a few pounds over 110, off you go! It's impossible to keep up!
Thank God the more I study His word about my role as a women I realize this is FOR me, not against me! It lifts me up and crowns me with strength, wisdom, grace and beauty. It exhorts the differences and honors the softer side of me. It encourages me in every aspect of life! We shrink back from all that God has created us to be and as God said to Eve, "Your desire will be for your husband." This does not mean sexually. It means that she will desire his authority. She will try to usurp his leadership. GUILTY! How many times do we boot men, not just our husbands, but men in general out of the driver's seat? Then, when we are tired and don't want to drive anymore we can't find a man around who WANTS to drive, why? Because they don't remember how!! Our society is filled with passive men and dominate women and it is broken! I know because I lived it for years! (I know none of you can believe that if you know me!) Let me clarify. Kraig has never been my doormat, praise God, that is one of the things I love about him, he has my respect! But if I thought he wasn't getting things done fast enough then I would definitely walk around him even if I couldn't walk over him! Does that make sense? Can I get an, "Amen?"
You know when we start to get it right? When we realize that men being men and women being women doesn't conflict. When we aren't threatened every time a man tries to lead! Let's let men do what God has called them to do and go a step farther and praise them for it! Let's be content to be women...to have the door opened for us, to have him pursue us, to have him make the final decision for once. You will be amazed at what takes place in your passive, procrastinator of a man! He will start to listen when you have a request, he will step in to shelter you when things are tough and he will thank God for the woman He has created you to be! A wise woman indeed!
As for Lausyn, I am the one mother and wife that the Lord has given her to watch day in and day out. I write this for her. I write this for all of the women who struggle to be daily what God wants us to be to the world, to our families, co-workers, friends, spouses, children and churches. It isn't always easy but it is so rewarding...carry on Sister, carry on!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Attention to Details
Well, one holiday down and one more to go. Is that negative? Usually I am ready for the holidays before school even starts (in August) but this year has been very odd. Just as my son had been abducted by aliens (just for a day and by the way, they brought him back!) and cleaned his room from top to bottom with no prodding from his mother, my husband wants to know what has happened to his wife! When Thanksgiving rolled around and I had no desire to bake, decorate or play Christmas music ad nauseum he knew something was amiss and so did I. I finally managed to get one tree decorated although I was more annoyed than jovial about the whole ordeal! After a few days this really began to bother me because I look forward to time with family and friends and all of the traditions that surround the holidays. I look forward to relishing the Christmas story and pondering what aspect the Lord will show me that is new and fresh to my heart this year. Alas, none of that!
Then, it dawned on me that warfare and attack from our adversary can come in many ways. It says in James 1:2 and 1 Peter 1:6 that our trials are varied. Satan is good at what he does and make no mistake, he knows you and me better than we know ourselves. He knows what works and if the same old thing works every time he is not likely to change his tactics. Being aware of this I have worked hard to gain victory in old areas of defeat. For years I have fallen prey to the same schemes and lies. But, after a while you just get tired of being so predictable!! However, once you gain victory in some areas you tend to get lazy in other areas or you just get prideful. For me it was a little of both. I thought that because I had been successful in some ways that I was invincible. I mean let's face it, there are just some things that don't get to me...do you know what I'm talking about? Anger isn't my thing. Neither is envy. Neither is (fill in the blank). I've dealt with these strongholds so I'm pretty good at this thing, I know what I'm doing! So, so, so very wrong!
I let my guard down and suddenly I'm in it for everything I'm worth. I'm grabbing my sword and trying to regain my footing. I'm struggling to stand firm because I'm angry, I'm envious and I don't love CHRISTMAS for crying out loud!! Let me explain. Just a few months ago I had this rage come over me over everything! I could go from fine to furious in seconds. The rational explanation was hormones. "Hormones and the devil always make me do it," would be a great mantra for me... for most of us. But the problem was I wasn't hormonal! This had gone on for too long to be PMS. Kraig, who is normally very patient and understanding, was growing really tired of living with a time bomb. I even allowed it to spill over onto the kids which will make you feel like a heel in a heartbeat! I hated everyone and everything that included myself! It dawned on me, "This is a heart problem!" My heart is desperately wicked! I had to confess it and stay in the word many times a day to keep laying it down when it reared its head. Thankfully, the Lord was gracious and his word renewed my heart.
Then, no sooner had I gotten through that spell then I was fighting great, green, gigantic episodes of ENVY! Have you ever been envious? It's miserable because you are rarely envious of one thing, it typically spills over to everything! I was even envious that homeless people didn't have to worry about bills and financial obligations (not really but you get the point!) This ran right on the heels of Thanksgiving. Why? Because when you are envious of someone else then you are obviously not THANKFUL for what you have! No surprise there! But, I still had to ask the Lord to heal me and make me grateful. Without him, I'm not, I'm just not and that's the truth! So, once again, I am confessing and bathing my mind in the word and fighting the good fight to stay grateful. You might wonder if I am done...I thought I was too!
Okay, there ought to be some law that Christmas is off limits right? For Pete's sake (I've always wondered who Pete was) it's the most wonderful time of the year right? People, I own three Christmas trees and the only reason I don't own one for every room is because I need money to buy other people presents! So, how did I go from visions of sugar plums to the Grinch? I honestly didn't know myself! Then, out of the blue it hit me - this is warfare and what a brilliant strategy! The crowning of our faith begins at Christmas and the coronation is complete at Easter. If Satan can make us lose our joy over the coming of our King then he is really effective! He had me! No question about it, I had succumb to his tactics. I was busy, I was tired, I was stressed and I was full. So, I struggle to stand up once again and confess and reach for His hand, his Word...
O Lord, help us not to be full on what the world has to offer! Keep us from the busyness of the season that distracts us from the quiet of the manger! Pull our hearts out of the world and back to you. Reach in and fan the flame of excitement over the birth of our Savior, God who became man, that He might sacrifice all and slay sin for all who BELIEVE...
Then, it dawned on me that warfare and attack from our adversary can come in many ways. It says in James 1:2 and 1 Peter 1:6 that our trials are varied. Satan is good at what he does and make no mistake, he knows you and me better than we know ourselves. He knows what works and if the same old thing works every time he is not likely to change his tactics. Being aware of this I have worked hard to gain victory in old areas of defeat. For years I have fallen prey to the same schemes and lies. But, after a while you just get tired of being so predictable!! However, once you gain victory in some areas you tend to get lazy in other areas or you just get prideful. For me it was a little of both. I thought that because I had been successful in some ways that I was invincible. I mean let's face it, there are just some things that don't get to me...do you know what I'm talking about? Anger isn't my thing. Neither is envy. Neither is (fill in the blank). I've dealt with these strongholds so I'm pretty good at this thing, I know what I'm doing! So, so, so very wrong!
I let my guard down and suddenly I'm in it for everything I'm worth. I'm grabbing my sword and trying to regain my footing. I'm struggling to stand firm because I'm angry, I'm envious and I don't love CHRISTMAS for crying out loud!! Let me explain. Just a few months ago I had this rage come over me over everything! I could go from fine to furious in seconds. The rational explanation was hormones. "Hormones and the devil always make me do it," would be a great mantra for me... for most of us. But the problem was I wasn't hormonal! This had gone on for too long to be PMS. Kraig, who is normally very patient and understanding, was growing really tired of living with a time bomb. I even allowed it to spill over onto the kids which will make you feel like a heel in a heartbeat! I hated everyone and everything that included myself! It dawned on me, "This is a heart problem!" My heart is desperately wicked! I had to confess it and stay in the word many times a day to keep laying it down when it reared its head. Thankfully, the Lord was gracious and his word renewed my heart.
Then, no sooner had I gotten through that spell then I was fighting great, green, gigantic episodes of ENVY! Have you ever been envious? It's miserable because you are rarely envious of one thing, it typically spills over to everything! I was even envious that homeless people didn't have to worry about bills and financial obligations (not really but you get the point!) This ran right on the heels of Thanksgiving. Why? Because when you are envious of someone else then you are obviously not THANKFUL for what you have! No surprise there! But, I still had to ask the Lord to heal me and make me grateful. Without him, I'm not, I'm just not and that's the truth! So, once again, I am confessing and bathing my mind in the word and fighting the good fight to stay grateful. You might wonder if I am done...I thought I was too!
Okay, there ought to be some law that Christmas is off limits right? For Pete's sake (I've always wondered who Pete was) it's the most wonderful time of the year right? People, I own three Christmas trees and the only reason I don't own one for every room is because I need money to buy other people presents! So, how did I go from visions of sugar plums to the Grinch? I honestly didn't know myself! Then, out of the blue it hit me - this is warfare and what a brilliant strategy! The crowning of our faith begins at Christmas and the coronation is complete at Easter. If Satan can make us lose our joy over the coming of our King then he is really effective! He had me! No question about it, I had succumb to his tactics. I was busy, I was tired, I was stressed and I was full. So, I struggle to stand up once again and confess and reach for His hand, his Word...
O Lord, help us not to be full on what the world has to offer! Keep us from the busyness of the season that distracts us from the quiet of the manger! Pull our hearts out of the world and back to you. Reach in and fan the flame of excitement over the birth of our Savior, God who became man, that He might sacrifice all and slay sin for all who BELIEVE...
Friday, November 19, 2010
Overwhelming Thankfulness
As we move closer to Thanksgiving I have been contemplating how I would reflect on all I was thankful for this year. I like to think I am thankful every day for something but it is always a good exercise for us as believers to take the time that God has given us around the "holiday of thankfulness" to really see where He has blessed in the last year. I am all about reflection! So, today, the Lord had me totally captive because I was cleaning my house - in my pajamas no less. It seems like getting dressed for something so dirty is pointless so, at 4pm today I was still in my p.j.'s and slippers. (I think Kraig was really glad when I took a shower and changed my clothes. He didn't say it but I think he might have been concerned that I would just climb back in the bed tonight wearing the same thing!) Back to captive audience train of thought: He (the Lord) could have taught the entire O.T. to me today as dirty as my house was - a full six hours to get it looking just right - for the next five minutes. (Moms, nod your head like this!) Having a clean house makes me anxiously euphoric (I know, oxymoron). Euphoric because I heart a clean house but anxious because now I have to be diligent to go behind every body to keep it clean. Thankfully, husband and children are not at slovenly level of living but indeed one step above :)
As I am cleaning I like to listen to podcasts of sermons. (I know I am a freak but that's not news to anyone.) Honestly, it is a good way of learning the Bible and it keeps my mind renewed besides, I enjoy it. So, today I downloaded a series on thankfulness by Allistair Begg (Kraig would prefer that I say he downloaded them for me since I am electronically challenged. Thanks honey!). If you have never heard of Begg before, or even if you have, you can find him at truthforlife.org. He's one of my favorites! In his first sermon on thankfulness he addressed OVERWHELMING thankfulness related to the woman with the alabaster flask.
The sermon began however, talking about two types of thankfulness: natural gratitude and gracious gratitude. Natural gratitude would be the gratitude that we feel from all of the material blessings and benefits from God. This gratitude can be felt by anyone, not just believers because all people experience God's common grace. For example, you don't have to be a believer in order to have food on the table, children or a roof over your head. The second type, gracious gratitude, begins with God, not us or our "things". This gratitude is felt specifically by believers and praises God as the One who is the "giver of all". For example, you thank God for His grace in sending Jesus as our Savior who provides us access to His throne or grants us an advocate with the Father. The point? All of the benefits that we experience as believers come only through Jesus. When He says that He is "the way, the truth and the life, living water, bread of life, the resurrection and the life" He is! (Notice all the references to life?) He is all that we as believers have to be thankful for! He secures it all for us. All grace, all truth, all mercy, all forgiveness, all life, all(fill in the blank). You see, without Jesus, we can experience all of the common graces of life but none of the saving grace. I want the saving grace and I am overwhelming thankful for it! Praise Him!
As Begg ended the sermon he stated that the woman with the alabaster flask offered an overwhelming gift (remember it was worth one year's wage) with overwhelming thankfulness because of overwhelming grace. I had to ask myself, "When was the last time you were overwhelming thankful because of overwhelming grace....and when was the last time you gave an overwhelming gift out of that?" Never. I am challenged anew to spend the next week being focused on the overwhelming gift of God's grace in Jesus for me and contemplating how and what I might give that would be overwhelming, overwhelming in thankfulness.
As I am cleaning I like to listen to podcasts of sermons. (I know I am a freak but that's not news to anyone.) Honestly, it is a good way of learning the Bible and it keeps my mind renewed besides, I enjoy it. So, today I downloaded a series on thankfulness by Allistair Begg (Kraig would prefer that I say he downloaded them for me since I am electronically challenged. Thanks honey!). If you have never heard of Begg before, or even if you have, you can find him at truthforlife.org. He's one of my favorites! In his first sermon on thankfulness he addressed OVERWHELMING thankfulness related to the woman with the alabaster flask.
The sermon began however, talking about two types of thankfulness: natural gratitude and gracious gratitude. Natural gratitude would be the gratitude that we feel from all of the material blessings and benefits from God. This gratitude can be felt by anyone, not just believers because all people experience God's common grace. For example, you don't have to be a believer in order to have food on the table, children or a roof over your head. The second type, gracious gratitude, begins with God, not us or our "things". This gratitude is felt specifically by believers and praises God as the One who is the "giver of all". For example, you thank God for His grace in sending Jesus as our Savior who provides us access to His throne or grants us an advocate with the Father. The point? All of the benefits that we experience as believers come only through Jesus. When He says that He is "the way, the truth and the life, living water, bread of life, the resurrection and the life" He is! (Notice all the references to life?) He is all that we as believers have to be thankful for! He secures it all for us. All grace, all truth, all mercy, all forgiveness, all life, all(fill in the blank). You see, without Jesus, we can experience all of the common graces of life but none of the saving grace. I want the saving grace and I am overwhelming thankful for it! Praise Him!
As Begg ended the sermon he stated that the woman with the alabaster flask offered an overwhelming gift (remember it was worth one year's wage) with overwhelming thankfulness because of overwhelming grace. I had to ask myself, "When was the last time you were overwhelming thankful because of overwhelming grace....and when was the last time you gave an overwhelming gift out of that?" Never. I am challenged anew to spend the next week being focused on the overwhelming gift of God's grace in Jesus for me and contemplating how and what I might give that would be overwhelming, overwhelming in thankfulness.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Live on Purpose...That's all I've got to say!
It's Sunday afternoon, arguably my most favorite time in the week, the kids are being too quiet in their rooms, Kraig is taking a nap and I am sitting by the fireplace in total silence! It almost seems too good to be true and if I were the one taking the nap it might be! It is amazing what Satan will use to try and get you worked up.
Brief Explanation: We have a Thanksgiving dinner at church this afternoon and so, being the designated Betty Crocker of the family (we have a Betty Crocker instead of an Emeril Lagasse, daggone it!) I am responsible for the "covered dishes" we have to bring for our family thus excluding me from a nap. (Side note: What is the origin of the "covered dish" and is there truly anything better that Baptists have come up with to this day?) Anyway, there is nothing worse than being half-way to la-la land when the kitchen timer goes off. With that said, I am envious of my snoring husband while I wait for the oven to pre-heat! However, I am CHOOSING not to make too much noise by accidentally dropping the pan on the floor, turning the blender on turbo or setting off the smoke alarm. This is my definition of an EXCELLENT WIFE :)!!!
I just love how the Lord can inspire with a wonderful illustration to bring me to my case in point: CHOICE or as I like to say, "Intentional or being purposeful." A few weeks ago the Pastor of Grace Church, Mark Fesmire, came and provided the staff at the pregnancy center with a devotional based on the acrostic V.I.M.: vision, intention, means. Since then I have been nearly addicted to the word intention or more specifically intentional. My husband would say that I use this word more than is necessary when talking about everything from peanut butter to makeup (and believe me you have to be intentional with both - but never at the same time - except maybe if you are eating breakfast while doing your makeup - which, by the way, happens in my bathroom alot!) I digress. But the reality is that we have to be intentional in EVERYTHING we do in life in order to glorify and please Him. We live on purpose when we choose and when we choose NOT to choose. Does that make sense?
Something will guide our lives. Either the flesh, leading to death or the Spirit leading to life. But make no mistake, if I am not living in the Spirit then I am living in the flesh. There is no third alternative. I can usually spot when I am living in the flesh because I am highly reactionary and emotional and not in a positive way! When I am living in the Spirit I am thinking and choosing deliberately. Like right now, I am choosing to not allow the jealousy that I feel towards my husband to create a wedge between us. To many women that may sound silly but I have driven a wedge over far less than a nap at times. Anyone else?
I think what I am learning is that everything in the Christian life that keeps us moving forward in sanctification is done with an attitude of intentional perseverance like running a race. Anytime you run for any distance over a few miles there comes a point when you have to push through the desire to stop. My walk is much the same way. It is easier to be reactionary and not to have to choose on purpose but then I suffer consequences later.
So, where am I going with all of this? I am trying to stop for five seconds and ask myself "Does this glorify the Lord?" If I can say, "Yes" then I proceed. If I can't, then I don't. I am trying to be intentional about what I let come out of my mouth, what I let into my mind and what I think on. I am trying to be keenly aware of how my actions, through word and deed, affect other people. Does it show Christ to them? Does it not? Is this helpful or hurtful? Is this moving me toward Jesus or away from Him. I've been working on this for the last three weeks or so. It was hard at first because I was just coming out of a season where the flesh was reigning in all it's ugliness! It was almost like I was having to retrain myself how to think, in fact, it was that very thing! Renewing my mind by the word of God. After three weeks, it has gotten easier because my Spirit is getting stronger. I am more circumspect of the enemy and his attacks lest I fall to temptations which are led away by my own desire, give birth to sin and when it is full grown produces death (James 1:15).
I want to share this so much because it has helped my marriage (case in point - Sun. afternoon nap!), guided me in keeping my mouth shut in a few social situations (miracle of all miracles!) and all around taught me in applying the Word to my life. Isn't this wisdom? Oh my gosh! Answered prayer! It is no coincidence that I am studying Proverbs and learning about living skillfully! Thank you Lord for wisdom that has been earnestly prayed for! Keep me humble in this discovery because You alone are wise and all wisdom comes from You! And...thank you for keeping me from kicking my husband off the couch in the middle of his nap!
Brief Explanation: We have a Thanksgiving dinner at church this afternoon and so, being the designated Betty Crocker of the family (we have a Betty Crocker instead of an Emeril Lagasse, daggone it!) I am responsible for the "covered dishes" we have to bring for our family thus excluding me from a nap. (Side note: What is the origin of the "covered dish" and is there truly anything better that Baptists have come up with to this day?) Anyway, there is nothing worse than being half-way to la-la land when the kitchen timer goes off. With that said, I am envious of my snoring husband while I wait for the oven to pre-heat! However, I am CHOOSING not to make too much noise by accidentally dropping the pan on the floor, turning the blender on turbo or setting off the smoke alarm. This is my definition of an EXCELLENT WIFE :)!!!
I just love how the Lord can inspire with a wonderful illustration to bring me to my case in point: CHOICE or as I like to say, "Intentional or being purposeful." A few weeks ago the Pastor of Grace Church, Mark Fesmire, came and provided the staff at the pregnancy center with a devotional based on the acrostic V.I.M.: vision, intention, means. Since then I have been nearly addicted to the word intention or more specifically intentional. My husband would say that I use this word more than is necessary when talking about everything from peanut butter to makeup (and believe me you have to be intentional with both - but never at the same time - except maybe if you are eating breakfast while doing your makeup - which, by the way, happens in my bathroom alot!) I digress. But the reality is that we have to be intentional in EVERYTHING we do in life in order to glorify and please Him. We live on purpose when we choose and when we choose NOT to choose. Does that make sense?
Something will guide our lives. Either the flesh, leading to death or the Spirit leading to life. But make no mistake, if I am not living in the Spirit then I am living in the flesh. There is no third alternative. I can usually spot when I am living in the flesh because I am highly reactionary and emotional and not in a positive way! When I am living in the Spirit I am thinking and choosing deliberately. Like right now, I am choosing to not allow the jealousy that I feel towards my husband to create a wedge between us. To many women that may sound silly but I have driven a wedge over far less than a nap at times. Anyone else?
I think what I am learning is that everything in the Christian life that keeps us moving forward in sanctification is done with an attitude of intentional perseverance like running a race. Anytime you run for any distance over a few miles there comes a point when you have to push through the desire to stop. My walk is much the same way. It is easier to be reactionary and not to have to choose on purpose but then I suffer consequences later.
So, where am I going with all of this? I am trying to stop for five seconds and ask myself "Does this glorify the Lord?" If I can say, "Yes" then I proceed. If I can't, then I don't. I am trying to be intentional about what I let come out of my mouth, what I let into my mind and what I think on. I am trying to be keenly aware of how my actions, through word and deed, affect other people. Does it show Christ to them? Does it not? Is this helpful or hurtful? Is this moving me toward Jesus or away from Him. I've been working on this for the last three weeks or so. It was hard at first because I was just coming out of a season where the flesh was reigning in all it's ugliness! It was almost like I was having to retrain myself how to think, in fact, it was that very thing! Renewing my mind by the word of God. After three weeks, it has gotten easier because my Spirit is getting stronger. I am more circumspect of the enemy and his attacks lest I fall to temptations which are led away by my own desire, give birth to sin and when it is full grown produces death (James 1:15).
I want to share this so much because it has helped my marriage (case in point - Sun. afternoon nap!), guided me in keeping my mouth shut in a few social situations (miracle of all miracles!) and all around taught me in applying the Word to my life. Isn't this wisdom? Oh my gosh! Answered prayer! It is no coincidence that I am studying Proverbs and learning about living skillfully! Thank you Lord for wisdom that has been earnestly prayed for! Keep me humble in this discovery because You alone are wise and all wisdom comes from You! And...thank you for keeping me from kicking my husband off the couch in the middle of his nap!
Friday, November 12, 2010
It's the Most Wonderful Time...
This song has forever been attributed in my mind (thanks to modern day marketing) not to Christmas but to "back to school". Have you seen that Staples commercial of the Dad wheeling around on the shopping cart throwing in school supplies as his children with long faces drag behind him? Only a parent who has endured a long summer cooped up with school age kids could appreciate the play on words! With that said, the song originally was intended to reference the joy of the holidays. For me, the most wonderful time of the year is autumn. The smell in the air, the varied color palette and the anticipation of the Holidays! I give pause every year to think that even the dying off of the summer season is beautiful. Our God makes all things beautiful in its time!
Looking back on the number of posts from the last year I realize that my writing opportunities have been few and far between over the summer months. I fully anticipated this once wedding season began but thanks be to God for His unspeakable gift - wedding season is OVER!! Don't get me wrong, I love weddings but after 36 weekends of petal pink taffeta bridesmaid dresses in "blush" and "bashful" I am ready to spend some time at home! Creatively speaking, I should be able to contribute far more to my favorite past time here at said blog. I have stated many times before that I have things that roll around in my head for weeks before I get around to writing them down. Sometimes they even fall out, oh cruel fate of aging brain!!
Marriage and family has been an increasing burden as is evident by my most recent series of posts on courtship. Being in crisis pregnancy center ministry we see the direct results of the breakdown of the home. This is Satan's most effective weapon in his arsenal because the ripple effect of a divorce is immeasurable! Not only are the husband and wife scarred but extended families, children, marriages of children, marriages of grandchildren, churches, neighborhoods, friendships and most importantly the glory of God is obscured. One thing that the Lord is teaching me is that God loves marriage because he loves faithfulness and nothing shows faithfulness like the relationship between Christ and the church (which is what our marriages are to mirror). How far above our own concepts of the marriage covenant, how far above societies portrayal, how much higher are his ways than our ways?
In times of tribulation in our marriages this allows us to back away from the intimate hurt to the greater over-arching purpose of why God created us as man and woman. This draws me away from the present sting of an emotional separation with Kraig to the glorious perspective of my joy in showing Christ to an unbelieving world. I can rest peacefully knowing that even this is for my sanctification. I was counseling a young wife the other day and I said to her, "Marriage is for our sanctification. I have learned how to bear the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, patience and self-control, patience and self-control and some patience and self-control...through my marriage. I have learned wisdom and submission and forgiveness and forbearance through my marriage. And I am the better for it!
Which brings me to this conclusion: God knows what He is doing whether we admit it or not. His plan ALWAYS proves best and we cannot improve on His perfection. Try as we may to pass off what is prevalent for what is permissive we cannot give ourselves any better than His way. So today, thank you Lord Jesus for marriage which is your design and your doing! Thank you for making us male and female, husband and wife, one flesh. Thank you for the blessings that bring us joy and for the adversities that bring us much needed sanctification. Thank you for being the perfect example of faithfulness to a sinful people who wouldn't know faithfulness without you! Keep us faithful in our marriages, always forgiving and forbearing, as Christ loves the church for your glory and great Name. Amen and amen.
Looking back on the number of posts from the last year I realize that my writing opportunities have been few and far between over the summer months. I fully anticipated this once wedding season began but thanks be to God for His unspeakable gift - wedding season is OVER!! Don't get me wrong, I love weddings but after 36 weekends of petal pink taffeta bridesmaid dresses in "blush" and "bashful" I am ready to spend some time at home! Creatively speaking, I should be able to contribute far more to my favorite past time here at said blog. I have stated many times before that I have things that roll around in my head for weeks before I get around to writing them down. Sometimes they even fall out, oh cruel fate of aging brain!!
Marriage and family has been an increasing burden as is evident by my most recent series of posts on courtship. Being in crisis pregnancy center ministry we see the direct results of the breakdown of the home. This is Satan's most effective weapon in his arsenal because the ripple effect of a divorce is immeasurable! Not only are the husband and wife scarred but extended families, children, marriages of children, marriages of grandchildren, churches, neighborhoods, friendships and most importantly the glory of God is obscured. One thing that the Lord is teaching me is that God loves marriage because he loves faithfulness and nothing shows faithfulness like the relationship between Christ and the church (which is what our marriages are to mirror). How far above our own concepts of the marriage covenant, how far above societies portrayal, how much higher are his ways than our ways?
In times of tribulation in our marriages this allows us to back away from the intimate hurt to the greater over-arching purpose of why God created us as man and woman. This draws me away from the present sting of an emotional separation with Kraig to the glorious perspective of my joy in showing Christ to an unbelieving world. I can rest peacefully knowing that even this is for my sanctification. I was counseling a young wife the other day and I said to her, "Marriage is for our sanctification. I have learned how to bear the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, patience and self-control, patience and self-control and some patience and self-control...through my marriage. I have learned wisdom and submission and forgiveness and forbearance through my marriage. And I am the better for it!
Which brings me to this conclusion: God knows what He is doing whether we admit it or not. His plan ALWAYS proves best and we cannot improve on His perfection. Try as we may to pass off what is prevalent for what is permissive we cannot give ourselves any better than His way. So today, thank you Lord Jesus for marriage which is your design and your doing! Thank you for making us male and female, husband and wife, one flesh. Thank you for the blessings that bring us joy and for the adversities that bring us much needed sanctification. Thank you for being the perfect example of faithfulness to a sinful people who wouldn't know faithfulness without you! Keep us faithful in our marriages, always forgiving and forbearing, as Christ loves the church for your glory and great Name. Amen and amen.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Courtship Part Three
Now that we have discussed the three "F's" of courtship we can begin to look at the process. I want to interject with two things here: First, this is something that needs to be talked about and assumed with children from a young age. It would be very hard to start this once dating has been allowed but it's not to say that you couldn't. Since courtship is a model to follow in choosing a marriage partner it is good to say up front that if you can't get married then there is no need to court or date or be anything other than friends with everyone! Therefore, middle school and high school students should be focused on academics and enjoying their short-lived youth! Now is not the time to complicate things with the weight of a task as significant as choosing a mate! Kids should be encouraged to go places in groups with people of the opposite sex and not place their affections on one particular person.
Once high school is over and kids begin to plan for the coming adult years they may begin to think about marriage and what life will look like for them in the near future. At this point they undoubtedly have a good idea of what they do and don't like in the opposite sex and are at a point where they can begin a logical process of choosing some one to court.
1. The fist step would be observation. For some this process may be longer than others depending on whether the two people had prior knowledge of one another beforehand. Observation allows two people to watch each other in a group setting to determine personality traits and initial interest in developing a friendship. Often times observation takes place throughout the adolescent and teen years.
2. The second step would be friendship. This continues to take place in a group setting but finds the two people gravitating more to one another and asking more specific questions to ascertain the details of faith, friendship and family. Meeting family is appropriate here but being alone outside of a group setting is not! Referring to yourselves as friends is appropriate however, asking deep personal questions should be left for official courtship. This allows for both people to guard their hearts while still in the friendship phase. Therefore, if you do not move on to official courtship then emotional attachment is not as significant. Friendship can take place in adolescent and teen years as well. This would ultimately take the place of dating for most teens by still allowing them time with people of the opposite sex but without exclusivity and untimely commitments.
3. The third step is acquisition. This is the most important step prior to engagement as you are deliberately choosing to pursue this relationship for the purpose of marriage. This is not the next step into dating or getting to the know the person. It should be decided that once a young man asks permission that he is stating a clear intention to consider this young lady as his choice for a wife. If you are not ready for this step then either continue on in your friendship or seek godly counsel from your parents or pastor if you are unsure. Do not proceed if there is any question at this point! From here some relationships will enter into courtship phase and still end but all questions and uncertainties should be remedied before moving to official courtship.
4. The fourth step would be official courtship which begins by the young man making known his intentions to his family along with the young ladies’ father and asking permission to "court" his family and most specifically his daughter. (This should not be the first time that you are meeting her family which should take place in the friendship phase!!) Upon permission from both families, you would begin an exclusive relationship moving toward marriage within a year. This is the only time frame I deem necessary because the first two steps can take months or years. The importance of timing official courtship through to marriage, in essence, helps "make no provision for the flesh". With exclusive relationships comes heightened temptation. As families, we want to come alongside our children and encourage them in this area to see it through to the finish line! In this step you are getting to know one another on a more personal level, spending quite a bit of time with each other's families and having brief periods of time alone but not at night and not in private settings (ie; the boys apartment or his car!). Physical boundaries are something that should be discussed, agreed upon based on biblical principles and obeyed! This is primarily the young man's responsibility in not placing his future wife into a compromising circumstance. Just as he will be responsible for covering, providing and protecting her in marriage, he begins to take on some of that role now.
5. Engagement. Step five should follow within about six months of the beginning of courtship. Although on paper six months sounds like a short time we all know that when you are in love, six months can be an eternity! From here, things should progress like most other relationships: A ring, permission from the parents and a proposal would be in order, from there wedding plans and pre-marital counseling should begin. It is important to state that increased physical temptation will come along with engagement so it is good to be diligent about guarding yourselves! **I also have to add in here - often parents are stuck on their children not marrying until they finish college in order to keep young marriages from unnecessary strain. I agree, in an ideal situation, however, extended periods of courtship can lead to increased temptation. As parents it is important that we set our kids up to succeed. Part of this will be making sure that we don’t allow courtship to take place too soon in their lives but sometimes you have to consent for the purpose of setting them up for success. The bottom line: you know your children!
6. Marriage! Yeah! You have made it and have taken all of the God-honoring steps to choose and choose wisely! God’s richest blessings will be upon you as you are prepared from the start with a firm foundation to weather the storms of life together!
I hope you enjoyed this and maybe it might give some structure to the obscurity of courtship!
Once high school is over and kids begin to plan for the coming adult years they may begin to think about marriage and what life will look like for them in the near future. At this point they undoubtedly have a good idea of what they do and don't like in the opposite sex and are at a point where they can begin a logical process of choosing some one to court.
1. The fist step would be observation. For some this process may be longer than others depending on whether the two people had prior knowledge of one another beforehand. Observation allows two people to watch each other in a group setting to determine personality traits and initial interest in developing a friendship. Often times observation takes place throughout the adolescent and teen years.
2. The second step would be friendship. This continues to take place in a group setting but finds the two people gravitating more to one another and asking more specific questions to ascertain the details of faith, friendship and family. Meeting family is appropriate here but being alone outside of a group setting is not! Referring to yourselves as friends is appropriate however, asking deep personal questions should be left for official courtship. This allows for both people to guard their hearts while still in the friendship phase. Therefore, if you do not move on to official courtship then emotional attachment is not as significant. Friendship can take place in adolescent and teen years as well. This would ultimately take the place of dating for most teens by still allowing them time with people of the opposite sex but without exclusivity and untimely commitments.
3. The third step is acquisition. This is the most important step prior to engagement as you are deliberately choosing to pursue this relationship for the purpose of marriage. This is not the next step into dating or getting to the know the person. It should be decided that once a young man asks permission that he is stating a clear intention to consider this young lady as his choice for a wife. If you are not ready for this step then either continue on in your friendship or seek godly counsel from your parents or pastor if you are unsure. Do not proceed if there is any question at this point! From here some relationships will enter into courtship phase and still end but all questions and uncertainties should be remedied before moving to official courtship.
4. The fourth step would be official courtship which begins by the young man making known his intentions to his family along with the young ladies’ father and asking permission to "court" his family and most specifically his daughter. (This should not be the first time that you are meeting her family which should take place in the friendship phase!!) Upon permission from both families, you would begin an exclusive relationship moving toward marriage within a year. This is the only time frame I deem necessary because the first two steps can take months or years. The importance of timing official courtship through to marriage, in essence, helps "make no provision for the flesh". With exclusive relationships comes heightened temptation. As families, we want to come alongside our children and encourage them in this area to see it through to the finish line! In this step you are getting to know one another on a more personal level, spending quite a bit of time with each other's families and having brief periods of time alone but not at night and not in private settings (ie; the boys apartment or his car!). Physical boundaries are something that should be discussed, agreed upon based on biblical principles and obeyed! This is primarily the young man's responsibility in not placing his future wife into a compromising circumstance. Just as he will be responsible for covering, providing and protecting her in marriage, he begins to take on some of that role now.
5. Engagement. Step five should follow within about six months of the beginning of courtship. Although on paper six months sounds like a short time we all know that when you are in love, six months can be an eternity! From here, things should progress like most other relationships: A ring, permission from the parents and a proposal would be in order, from there wedding plans and pre-marital counseling should begin. It is important to state that increased physical temptation will come along with engagement so it is good to be diligent about guarding yourselves! **I also have to add in here - often parents are stuck on their children not marrying until they finish college in order to keep young marriages from unnecessary strain. I agree, in an ideal situation, however, extended periods of courtship can lead to increased temptation. As parents it is important that we set our kids up to succeed. Part of this will be making sure that we don’t allow courtship to take place too soon in their lives but sometimes you have to consent for the purpose of setting them up for success. The bottom line: you know your children!
6. Marriage! Yeah! You have made it and have taken all of the God-honoring steps to choose and choose wisely! God’s richest blessings will be upon you as you are prepared from the start with a firm foundation to weather the storms of life together!
I hope you enjoyed this and maybe it might give some structure to the obscurity of courtship!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Courtship Part Two
Often times people, kids and adults alike, misconstrue physical feelings as love. Because we are attracted to the person and the person makes us feel good from physical touch we translate all of this positive “feeling” into love. However, this "love" is a very shallow emotion that often times does not endure through the hardships of life. We are teaching our children a very superficial meaning of love. We have taken love that once stood for an unwavering commitment to the Lord and our spouse regardless of feelings or circumstances and traded it in for the crass, dime a dozen, cotton candy and roses of 21st century media. And our divorce rate reflects the shift mainly because we are following our hearts and not our heads! Wow! What a non-romantic I am! Not really, I love romance as much as the next person and what I find more romantic than anything else is an honest to goodness, real life, happy ending! Is there anything sweeter than seeing two people with white hair sharing decades of memories in one smile? We have the rest of our lives for romance but it's best not to cloud the decision of a lifetime with too much goo! Just like a good hairdo, too much goo can mess it up! (I had to throw that in there! A good hair day only runs second to a happy ending!)
So, the soap box leads somewhere, I promise! I am a firm believer that you can determine all you need to know in order to marry someone without every having to date them, kiss them or touch them! Archaic, I know! But, when I sit back and think about all of the things that I admire and respect about Kraig as a husband or all of the reasons why I would choose him again, I typically don’t talk about the physical qualities or the physical attraction. Although I love those things about him our marriage is not built on those things. Also, how many of you would say that sex usually begins with a kiss or a gentle touch? Therein lies the reason for taking physical touch out of the equation - it adds temptation and complications that aren’t necessary! There are many nay sayers on this point. I often have people question, "How then do you determine an initial attraction?" To which I reply, “Has anyone every married someone they weren’t attracted to? Furthermore, isn't attraction first determined by the eyes instead of touch? Hence the saying, "Beauty is in the EYE of the beholder." How many would say that you can determine attraction to someone without having to touch them but through the initial vision of the other person mixed with meaningful conversation or similar interests? The physical attraction is easily attained but finding common ground and like-mindedness proves more difficult although not impossible. All successful relationships have to have common bonds that link two people together. Faith and friendship being the two most important followed closely by family. Which establishes the three “F’s” of courtship.
We start with the most important which is faith. Faith being the first and the cornerstone for every relationship. Each person possessing a personal relationship based on salvation through faith with the Lord Jesus Christ. Both submitting to the Bible as the guide for all things in life including the correct design for marriage and family. Both actively involved in a church that teaches sound doctrine. Pretty simple.
Friendship is the process by which we begin to get to know someone. At an early age, children can begin to distinguish between desirable and undesirable characteristics in their friends. For example, Jack may choose friends that are girls that are interested in sports, are positive and are loyal. These traits can and most often will translate into specific characteristics as a wife. One can assume that she would be active with her children, always looking for the positive in a negative circumstance and be loyal in her relationship with her husband. (I have to interject here that these aren't hard and fast connections but over the years of developing a friendship with someone you can see these traits put to the test over and over.) Without even knowing it, children are beginning to determine what type of person they would look for as a marriage partner.
Lastly, the third "F" is family. Although children are not responsible for the family that they come from they are a product of that family. And although they shouldn't be punished for mistakes they aren't responsible for it is important to take this into consideration ultimately remembering that God is able to make all things new! The importance rests in realizing the type of home that a child is reared in will be significant in how they view life for their own family. "Courting the family" is a must in the process of courtship! Marriage makes two people one flesh and binds two families together. You will be spending a lot of time with your in-laws so you better start now! Getting to know the family will also explain a lot about how a person thinks and acts.
So, the soap box leads somewhere, I promise! I am a firm believer that you can determine all you need to know in order to marry someone without every having to date them, kiss them or touch them! Archaic, I know! But, when I sit back and think about all of the things that I admire and respect about Kraig as a husband or all of the reasons why I would choose him again, I typically don’t talk about the physical qualities or the physical attraction. Although I love those things about him our marriage is not built on those things. Also, how many of you would say that sex usually begins with a kiss or a gentle touch? Therein lies the reason for taking physical touch out of the equation - it adds temptation and complications that aren’t necessary! There are many nay sayers on this point. I often have people question, "How then do you determine an initial attraction?" To which I reply, “Has anyone every married someone they weren’t attracted to? Furthermore, isn't attraction first determined by the eyes instead of touch? Hence the saying, "Beauty is in the EYE of the beholder." How many would say that you can determine attraction to someone without having to touch them but through the initial vision of the other person mixed with meaningful conversation or similar interests? The physical attraction is easily attained but finding common ground and like-mindedness proves more difficult although not impossible. All successful relationships have to have common bonds that link two people together. Faith and friendship being the two most important followed closely by family. Which establishes the three “F’s” of courtship.
We start with the most important which is faith. Faith being the first and the cornerstone for every relationship. Each person possessing a personal relationship based on salvation through faith with the Lord Jesus Christ. Both submitting to the Bible as the guide for all things in life including the correct design for marriage and family. Both actively involved in a church that teaches sound doctrine. Pretty simple.
Friendship is the process by which we begin to get to know someone. At an early age, children can begin to distinguish between desirable and undesirable characteristics in their friends. For example, Jack may choose friends that are girls that are interested in sports, are positive and are loyal. These traits can and most often will translate into specific characteristics as a wife. One can assume that she would be active with her children, always looking for the positive in a negative circumstance and be loyal in her relationship with her husband. (I have to interject here that these aren't hard and fast connections but over the years of developing a friendship with someone you can see these traits put to the test over and over.) Without even knowing it, children are beginning to determine what type of person they would look for as a marriage partner.
Lastly, the third "F" is family. Although children are not responsible for the family that they come from they are a product of that family. And although they shouldn't be punished for mistakes they aren't responsible for it is important to take this into consideration ultimately remembering that God is able to make all things new! The importance rests in realizing the type of home that a child is reared in will be significant in how they view life for their own family. "Courting the family" is a must in the process of courtship! Marriage makes two people one flesh and binds two families together. You will be spending a lot of time with your in-laws so you better start now! Getting to know the family will also explain a lot about how a person thinks and acts.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
The Obscurity of Courtship
I have had many things over the last month that I have wanted to blog about but alas, no time! However, today, I have nothing (not a misprint) to do! It is a beautiful autumn afternoon, my house is in order, kids are quiet and hubby is off somewhere outside "piddling". Let me follow that tangent for a minute....have you ever noticed that men "piddle"? They walk around aimlessly picking up a stick here and there, looking at this or that without any real focus for getting anything accomplished. For the life of me I couldn't do this! It is not in my nature or in the nature of any woman, especially with children, to expend energy for no purpose!! If I'm going to use up my very precious energy I'm going to be doing something efficiently. Just one of the differences between the way God created men and women, which offers a nice sequeway into the topic I wanted to address in this post and if anyone truly reads this, it might be lengthy so be patient!
The topic that has been on my mind over the last few days is one of Courtship. Courtship being a model for guiding young men and women in choosing a spouse. Kraig and I are firm believers that courtship is the biblical way to approach marriage however, there seems to be very little information out there about the steps of courtship and how to go about the actual process. So, I thought I would map out some rules basically for my own benefit and if it happens to benefit someone else then wonderful!!
I guess to begin I should provide some background information on why we came to this conclusion. It is important to note that Kraig and I dated and we did not follow this for ourselves. I think that is one reason why we are looking to something different for our children. Dating took up a lot of wasted time in our teen years and led to some poor choices overall that we look back on now and regret. The fact that we have a successful marriage now is due to God’s grace ALONE! We did everything we could to mess it up! With marriages ending everyday in divorce, in and out of the church, we wanted to settle the issue long before Landon and Lausyn were interested in the opposite sex. We had to ask ourselves, how do we set them up for success in marriage? No doubt, marriage is hard enough when you have a firm foundation much less when you don’t!
We narrowed down our reasons to three: First, dating is never mentioned in the bible. Dating is something that our society has developed to allow two adolescents with adult bodies and adult hormones the ability to feel like adults by being alone on "dates" thereby opening the door for dangerous temptation. Isn't this really unfair to our children? As parents we still bear the responsibility of instructing, guiding and safeguarding our children until they are adults and the definition of adulthood will be different for each child. For some it might be 18, others 20 and still others 22 or older. The fact of the matter is that we never stop being parents to our children even after they begin families of their own - we just parent in different ways. The second reason why we have chosen courtship rests on the high rate of failure for marriage within our society today. Studies confirm that in cultures where arranged marriage and courtship is prevalent that the divorce rate is extremely low and people contend that they are satisfied, even happy within their marriages. Lastly, courtship takes the emphasis off of the physical and emotional aspect of choosing a spouse and places it on the logical process of choosing and choosing well.
To be continued...
The topic that has been on my mind over the last few days is one of Courtship. Courtship being a model for guiding young men and women in choosing a spouse. Kraig and I are firm believers that courtship is the biblical way to approach marriage however, there seems to be very little information out there about the steps of courtship and how to go about the actual process. So, I thought I would map out some rules basically for my own benefit and if it happens to benefit someone else then wonderful!!
I guess to begin I should provide some background information on why we came to this conclusion. It is important to note that Kraig and I dated and we did not follow this for ourselves. I think that is one reason why we are looking to something different for our children. Dating took up a lot of wasted time in our teen years and led to some poor choices overall that we look back on now and regret. The fact that we have a successful marriage now is due to God’s grace ALONE! We did everything we could to mess it up! With marriages ending everyday in divorce, in and out of the church, we wanted to settle the issue long before Landon and Lausyn were interested in the opposite sex. We had to ask ourselves, how do we set them up for success in marriage? No doubt, marriage is hard enough when you have a firm foundation much less when you don’t!
We narrowed down our reasons to three: First, dating is never mentioned in the bible. Dating is something that our society has developed to allow two adolescents with adult bodies and adult hormones the ability to feel like adults by being alone on "dates" thereby opening the door for dangerous temptation. Isn't this really unfair to our children? As parents we still bear the responsibility of instructing, guiding and safeguarding our children until they are adults and the definition of adulthood will be different for each child. For some it might be 18, others 20 and still others 22 or older. The fact of the matter is that we never stop being parents to our children even after they begin families of their own - we just parent in different ways. The second reason why we have chosen courtship rests on the high rate of failure for marriage within our society today. Studies confirm that in cultures where arranged marriage and courtship is prevalent that the divorce rate is extremely low and people contend that they are satisfied, even happy within their marriages. Lastly, courtship takes the emphasis off of the physical and emotional aspect of choosing a spouse and places it on the logical process of choosing and choosing well.
To be continued...
Thursday, September 16, 2010
To Know Him is to Love Him
This entry has been stirring in me for almost a month now. I wouldn't bore you with the details of all that has happened in the last three weeks but I will say that God teaches me something almost everyday. I feel like at times that I need to walk around with a notepad and pen so that I don't forget some of the things that He brings to mind. It's sad to say but my memory is getting a little less than picture perfect these days. It's all I can do to remember my name and what I had for breakfast. That's why I have developed the habit (much to my husband's chagrin) of making lists and lists and more lists. In fact, I think sticky notes are provision from God just for me! If I was the next contestant on Survivor and only had one item to take...I would take my Bible of course (what God fearing Christian woman wouldn't say that??) but it would be filled with sticky notes and (maybe some soap)! Okay, thanks for humoring me. Back to the subject.
So, I have been very discouraged at times over the last few weeks at what I see in the world and in the church. I shouldn't be surprised at what I see in the world but I'm still amazed at the total depravity of who we all could be without Jesus Christ. However, I guess I expect more from the church especially when the word of God is being proclaimed and is so accessible to us in this day and age. I look around and I see two types of people, the dead and the emotional. In fact, in the parable of the soils these two types are mentioned. The first kind, the dead, are just that - dead. They have no life, no light, no passion - they are just going through the motions. The second kind, the emotional, are the very opposite. They are lively, passionate, zealous, exuberant for a time - they are riding the wave of feelings up and down, up and down. Neither of these two have any root. They have no firm foundation.
We don't like to talk about perseverance in our world. We don't want to hear that the road is narrow and few find it. We don't want to hear that as Spurgeon said, "Most of the Christian life is drudgery." Most people that consider themselves Christians today would say that as heresy! God wants my good, my best, my happiness. God is waiting to show me the next "big thing" and then I'm on my way, doing what I was created to do - which almost always is what I want to do and will make me successful, wealthy and recognized. God's plan is never that I should suffer, live in obscurity or do something I don't want to do. I ask, "Is that biblical?" I ask, "Which most resembles the life of Christ?" The life we are called to follow?
I say all of this and condemn myself at the same time but the thing I have learned? The more I get to know the God I serve, the more I love the God I serve. And then, the law that I was trying desperately to adhere to is not so hard to follow after all because I want to please the one who created the Law for my good and for His glory. Does that make sense? We serve a vicious cycle of trying to obey the law with our flesh but inside our hearts are far from God so when we fail we are plagued with the guilt of our failure. "This is impossible!" Other people, more spiritual than I am can do this but I can't be obedient - it just isn't in me!" You are right! It isn't in you but as believers if the Spirit of God is in you then it is in you. But, it doesn't stop there because you must KNOW the God you serve in order to LOVE the God you serve. We don't love our spouses or children or friends or (fill in the blank) without knowing them. We must know our God, we are commanded to know our God. Then, we LOVE Him and obedience to the Law is our reasonable service, our joy and crown. Why? Because it pleases the One we love.
So, I have been very discouraged at times over the last few weeks at what I see in the world and in the church. I shouldn't be surprised at what I see in the world but I'm still amazed at the total depravity of who we all could be without Jesus Christ. However, I guess I expect more from the church especially when the word of God is being proclaimed and is so accessible to us in this day and age. I look around and I see two types of people, the dead and the emotional. In fact, in the parable of the soils these two types are mentioned. The first kind, the dead, are just that - dead. They have no life, no light, no passion - they are just going through the motions. The second kind, the emotional, are the very opposite. They are lively, passionate, zealous, exuberant for a time - they are riding the wave of feelings up and down, up and down. Neither of these two have any root. They have no firm foundation.
We don't like to talk about perseverance in our world. We don't want to hear that the road is narrow and few find it. We don't want to hear that as Spurgeon said, "Most of the Christian life is drudgery." Most people that consider themselves Christians today would say that as heresy! God wants my good, my best, my happiness. God is waiting to show me the next "big thing" and then I'm on my way, doing what I was created to do - which almost always is what I want to do and will make me successful, wealthy and recognized. God's plan is never that I should suffer, live in obscurity or do something I don't want to do. I ask, "Is that biblical?" I ask, "Which most resembles the life of Christ?" The life we are called to follow?
I say all of this and condemn myself at the same time but the thing I have learned? The more I get to know the God I serve, the more I love the God I serve. And then, the law that I was trying desperately to adhere to is not so hard to follow after all because I want to please the one who created the Law for my good and for His glory. Does that make sense? We serve a vicious cycle of trying to obey the law with our flesh but inside our hearts are far from God so when we fail we are plagued with the guilt of our failure. "This is impossible!" Other people, more spiritual than I am can do this but I can't be obedient - it just isn't in me!" You are right! It isn't in you but as believers if the Spirit of God is in you then it is in you. But, it doesn't stop there because you must KNOW the God you serve in order to LOVE the God you serve. We don't love our spouses or children or friends or (fill in the blank) without knowing them. We must know our God, we are commanded to know our God. Then, we LOVE Him and obedience to the Law is our reasonable service, our joy and crown. Why? Because it pleases the One we love.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
The Taste of Victory
Oh my goodness! I cannot hardly believe it has been so long since I have written. I did say at the very beginning that summertime would be difficult for the blog and indeed I was correct! It has been a busy but quick summer and school starts next week - can you believe it? I always look forward to the structure of the school year and by the time the first day comes around I am READY - can all of the Mom's out there nod your heads like this?? And truthfully, the kids are ready too they just don't know it yet.
Just this past weekend we wrapped up the summer swim season with the City "A" meet. This is the championship meet where all the top swimmers in the city who have qualifying times come together to compete for the title of "City Champs". Although this is a long way from being the Olympics, to a bunch of kids in central Virginia this is just as important.
My son, Landon, worked so hard this year to make all of his "A" times and he was successful in three of his strongest events. We were very proud of him and the determination that he but forth to set a and goal and go for it! The meet usually comes down to the final relays and so the crowd around the pool is 10 people deep for the last six or seven events. This year the meet was held at an indoor facility so the space around the pool was crowded, humid and loud!
As I stood there cheering for my son and his teammates I had chills up and down my arms and tears in my eyes over the pure excitement of the moment. It was in that moment that I stopped yelling and with baited breath waited to see who would win - it was close, very close. In my silence the roar of the crowd seemed even more deafening and there was an electricity in the air that was almost palpable. Within my heart I thanked the Lord for the privilege of being able to experience the emotion of competition but mainly that of VICTORY. Then, the Holy Spirit reminded me that we will experience that victory again when this life is over. When Jesus comes back on His white horse wearing a robe dipped in blood and His name "King of Kings and Lord of Lords" written on His thigh he will defeat Satan and we as His people will know victory! Can you imagine cheering with the fierceness of knowing that our arch enemy, the great deceiver is going to be conquered? More important than any other victory that you or I have ever known! Life and death, our life, our death secured by THE Victor, Jesus Christ, who tasted death and overcame the grave! What a foretaste of glory divine, faith is the victory, oh, glorious victory that overcomes the world! And through Him we are more than conquerors, we are the victors and we win!! We win beloved, we win!! What a refreshing thought for our weary souls in the midst of the day-to-day burdens of life. Thank You Jesus, thank You!
Just this past weekend we wrapped up the summer swim season with the City "A" meet. This is the championship meet where all the top swimmers in the city who have qualifying times come together to compete for the title of "City Champs". Although this is a long way from being the Olympics, to a bunch of kids in central Virginia this is just as important.
My son, Landon, worked so hard this year to make all of his "A" times and he was successful in three of his strongest events. We were very proud of him and the determination that he but forth to set a and goal and go for it! The meet usually comes down to the final relays and so the crowd around the pool is 10 people deep for the last six or seven events. This year the meet was held at an indoor facility so the space around the pool was crowded, humid and loud!
As I stood there cheering for my son and his teammates I had chills up and down my arms and tears in my eyes over the pure excitement of the moment. It was in that moment that I stopped yelling and with baited breath waited to see who would win - it was close, very close. In my silence the roar of the crowd seemed even more deafening and there was an electricity in the air that was almost palpable. Within my heart I thanked the Lord for the privilege of being able to experience the emotion of competition but mainly that of VICTORY. Then, the Holy Spirit reminded me that we will experience that victory again when this life is over. When Jesus comes back on His white horse wearing a robe dipped in blood and His name "King of Kings and Lord of Lords" written on His thigh he will defeat Satan and we as His people will know victory! Can you imagine cheering with the fierceness of knowing that our arch enemy, the great deceiver is going to be conquered? More important than any other victory that you or I have ever known! Life and death, our life, our death secured by THE Victor, Jesus Christ, who tasted death and overcame the grave! What a foretaste of glory divine, faith is the victory, oh, glorious victory that overcomes the world! And through Him we are more than conquerors, we are the victors and we win!! We win beloved, we win!! What a refreshing thought for our weary souls in the midst of the day-to-day burdens of life. Thank You Jesus, thank You!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
For the Joy of All Nations
I am at a specific time in my life where I can feel within my spirit the Lord moving for His glory. I don't know exactly how to explain it other than there is a constant excitement to life. I am excited to step back and watch God work and be part of His plan and I am beginning to understand things in a way that I never have before...vague statements, hard to comprehend.
I believe for the first time I am starting to see how I fit into God's divine purpose for His church, this world and ultimately His glory. It almost seems astonishing to say that in a world that is plagued with determining God's will for our lives. We are constantly waiting on the "big plan" to be revealed and so we live waiting for the next step never assuming that the step we are on is part of the plan. I know this all too well because I lived it for years. "God when will I be able to get in on the game? What is my part in all of this? Where do I fit in to your grand scheme?" It is the worst kind of unsettled cycle and I believe it is one of the best tools that the enemy uses to keep us from being effective NOW... and then now turns into the rest of our lives...waiting on the next big thing...waiting on what God has for me.
Why? Because dishes and diapers and homework and bills don't seem like a very important part of God's grand design for my life or anyone else's for that matter! Because if it isn't big then it isn't of Him and I can't be effective if I'm not in front of thousands of people. Obscurity - that can't be from God can it? "Isn't that Joseph's son?" Isn't that the kid Jesus who was our neighbor and made our kitchen table? "What good ever came from Nazareth?" Born in a cave among the noise and waste of animals came the Savior of this world, God in human flesh, obscured from the sight of all the ones who were watching, waiting for something greater....
God has placed you and me where we are "for such a time as this". I have spheres of influence that he means for me to be impacting for His glory every day and so do you. First, to my family, namely my husband and children. They are my first "mission field". Second, to those within my church family. I am serving the Lord in a Christ-exalting, bible teaching church and there are women and children that I can minister to in that body of believers. Lastly, my places of employment are filled with people who need to hear the beautiful news of the gospel of Jesus. This is how God works! He is a missional God in that he uses us WHERE WE ARE to further the gospel and bring glory to His name. The people that we minister to here are no less important to Him than the people in the 1040 window or in Darfur or Algeria.
Then, this amazing cycle begins because the people that we impact and disciple begin to impact and disciple those in their spheres of influence. The point is that where we are and what we do cannot be a "flash in the pan". We witness through our words but more importantly through the testimony of our lives and our lives cannot be witnessed in a day or a week or maybe even a month. We labor with and serve and love the lost and the beauty of Christ as our treasure shines forth in our lives through time. I didn't know my husband or his heart in a week after meeting him but after 11 years I know him well. The same applies to our relationship with others. And this will require us to be transparent and vulnerable at times.
A slow, steady course of living our lives one day at a time right where the Lord has us for the purpose of His glory in us spilling over into those around us. Sanctification. For His Name's Sake. Simple. Obscure. Amazing.
I believe for the first time I am starting to see how I fit into God's divine purpose for His church, this world and ultimately His glory. It almost seems astonishing to say that in a world that is plagued with determining God's will for our lives. We are constantly waiting on the "big plan" to be revealed and so we live waiting for the next step never assuming that the step we are on is part of the plan. I know this all too well because I lived it for years. "God when will I be able to get in on the game? What is my part in all of this? Where do I fit in to your grand scheme?" It is the worst kind of unsettled cycle and I believe it is one of the best tools that the enemy uses to keep us from being effective NOW... and then now turns into the rest of our lives...waiting on the next big thing...waiting on what God has for me.
Why? Because dishes and diapers and homework and bills don't seem like a very important part of God's grand design for my life or anyone else's for that matter! Because if it isn't big then it isn't of Him and I can't be effective if I'm not in front of thousands of people. Obscurity - that can't be from God can it? "Isn't that Joseph's son?" Isn't that the kid Jesus who was our neighbor and made our kitchen table? "What good ever came from Nazareth?" Born in a cave among the noise and waste of animals came the Savior of this world, God in human flesh, obscured from the sight of all the ones who were watching, waiting for something greater....
God has placed you and me where we are "for such a time as this". I have spheres of influence that he means for me to be impacting for His glory every day and so do you. First, to my family, namely my husband and children. They are my first "mission field". Second, to those within my church family. I am serving the Lord in a Christ-exalting, bible teaching church and there are women and children that I can minister to in that body of believers. Lastly, my places of employment are filled with people who need to hear the beautiful news of the gospel of Jesus. This is how God works! He is a missional God in that he uses us WHERE WE ARE to further the gospel and bring glory to His name. The people that we minister to here are no less important to Him than the people in the 1040 window or in Darfur or Algeria.
Then, this amazing cycle begins because the people that we impact and disciple begin to impact and disciple those in their spheres of influence. The point is that where we are and what we do cannot be a "flash in the pan". We witness through our words but more importantly through the testimony of our lives and our lives cannot be witnessed in a day or a week or maybe even a month. We labor with and serve and love the lost and the beauty of Christ as our treasure shines forth in our lives through time. I didn't know my husband or his heart in a week after meeting him but after 11 years I know him well. The same applies to our relationship with others. And this will require us to be transparent and vulnerable at times.
A slow, steady course of living our lives one day at a time right where the Lord has us for the purpose of His glory in us spilling over into those around us. Sanctification. For His Name's Sake. Simple. Obscure. Amazing.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
A Dimly Lit Lightbulb
One of the things I so love about scripture is when you have a day where a lightbulb comes on, even though it may be dim, there is something there to be grasped! In those times I feel the need to write out my connections in order to hold onto them tightly.
As of last year I finally completed reading the O.T. from beginning to end. I had skipped around quite a bit and had read most of it before but never as a whole. I am also very fond of the Pentateuch so I have a tendency to keep going back to that. Once I finished Malachi in December I almost felt lost as to where to go next so I just went right back to the beginning of Genesis. I have been purposefully taking my time and with the current study of Esther there have been some distractions.
Anyway, enough background, so today I am almost finished with Genesis but I love to dwell on the life of Joseph because I adore him! I don't know of a more beautiful picture of God's sovereignty and man's faithfulness aside from our Lord Jesus in the Bible. Although David, Job and Daniel run close behind. But for some reason I just love Joseph. In chapter 47 of Genesis, Jacob and his sons have moved to Egypt in order that they might be with Joseph and escape the famine that is in Canaan. As I was reading in v. 9 the word "sojourn" struck me and so I began to research a little bit and it became clear that at this time, the Israelites had not inherited the promise of the land of Canaan. They had lived there but they had not fully received the inheritance and they would not until the book of Joshua, some 450 years later!
What was even more amazing is that God in his providence brought about the famine that would eventually drive Jacob and his sons out of Canaan into Egypt and Egypt would become a land of affliction and slavery to them. The chosen nation of God Most High, chosen to be his people, would endure 400 years of slavery, a time of exodus, wanderings in the wilderness and many battles until they were finally able to settle in the Land that God had promised to their father, Abraham almost 800 years earlier! Yet, God was faithful to His promises, through the enemy's affliction, Israel's disobedience and many, many, many decades!
But He begins those decades by being faithful to us one day at a time. The Ancient of Days has always been faithful, is faithful and will always be faithful - 2 Tim. 2:13 says that He cannot be anything less! That is comfort to me in a day when I don't know the purpose of all that is going on around me and what it has to do with His glory and the bigger picture. I don't know how he will weave today, May 18th, 2010 into His kingdom purpose and what it will look like in the tapestry of eternity. I only know that He is true always and that He is at this very moment doing a thousand other things that I cannot know or understand, working all things according to the counsel of his perfect, immutable and GOOD sovereign will! Praise be to His Name, Today!
As of last year I finally completed reading the O.T. from beginning to end. I had skipped around quite a bit and had read most of it before but never as a whole. I am also very fond of the Pentateuch so I have a tendency to keep going back to that. Once I finished Malachi in December I almost felt lost as to where to go next so I just went right back to the beginning of Genesis. I have been purposefully taking my time and with the current study of Esther there have been some distractions.
Anyway, enough background, so today I am almost finished with Genesis but I love to dwell on the life of Joseph because I adore him! I don't know of a more beautiful picture of God's sovereignty and man's faithfulness aside from our Lord Jesus in the Bible. Although David, Job and Daniel run close behind. But for some reason I just love Joseph. In chapter 47 of Genesis, Jacob and his sons have moved to Egypt in order that they might be with Joseph and escape the famine that is in Canaan. As I was reading in v. 9 the word "sojourn" struck me and so I began to research a little bit and it became clear that at this time, the Israelites had not inherited the promise of the land of Canaan. They had lived there but they had not fully received the inheritance and they would not until the book of Joshua, some 450 years later!
What was even more amazing is that God in his providence brought about the famine that would eventually drive Jacob and his sons out of Canaan into Egypt and Egypt would become a land of affliction and slavery to them. The chosen nation of God Most High, chosen to be his people, would endure 400 years of slavery, a time of exodus, wanderings in the wilderness and many battles until they were finally able to settle in the Land that God had promised to their father, Abraham almost 800 years earlier! Yet, God was faithful to His promises, through the enemy's affliction, Israel's disobedience and many, many, many decades!
But He begins those decades by being faithful to us one day at a time. The Ancient of Days has always been faithful, is faithful and will always be faithful - 2 Tim. 2:13 says that He cannot be anything less! That is comfort to me in a day when I don't know the purpose of all that is going on around me and what it has to do with His glory and the bigger picture. I don't know how he will weave today, May 18th, 2010 into His kingdom purpose and what it will look like in the tapestry of eternity. I only know that He is true always and that He is at this very moment doing a thousand other things that I cannot know or understand, working all things according to the counsel of his perfect, immutable and GOOD sovereign will! Praise be to His Name, Today!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
A Heart That Is Full
I cannot believe it has been almost a month since I have had opportunity to write. It seems that busyness has crept in and taken most of my quiet time - thankfully today I had a few quiet moments with the Lord and I was so overjoyed about it! As I was getting ready today I could feel my excitement growing as I got closer and closer to my time with Him - almost like I feel getting ready for a date with Kraig and sometimes the way I feel over getting ready to go to bed and get a full 8 hours of sleep. Is there anyone out there over the age of 30 with kids that doesn't get excited about a good night's sleep? There aren't too many things that I look forward to more than sleep these days!
Anyway, I was almost giddy about being able to write again today and then it hit me - Lord what do you want to say? This season has been threatening to be a dry season for me spiritually and I have been fighting over the last month or so to keep from going there. There has been so much going on around me - not necessarily with me - but around me. Do you know the feeling? When it seems that things are peaceful within your own life yet the lives of those around you are in turmoil. That affects me. That affects my walk and my faith. I hurt for those people and ponder what it is that God is doing in their lives just like I do in my own trials.
I have sensed a season of weariness among the people of God. We are OVERWHELMED with trouble, suffering and responsibility and we desperately want to break free. Beloved, Jesus came to free us, to heal us and to give us peace. But He works in the trouble, suffering and responsibility in order that He may be our Victor through freedom, healing and peace. If there were no crisis there would be no need for refreshing. At times when we are overwhelmed there is nothing sweeter than the peace of God that passes all understanding. Rest in that - rest in the overwhelming flood because as Shadrach, Meshach and Abedego so firmly stated, "Our God is able to deliver us!" Without the fiery trials of life there is no deliverance. The glory of our Lord shines brightest in the deliverance, in the suffering, in the blood-stained cross. No death, no Savior....
But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are pressed but not crushed, persecuted not abandoned, struck down but not destroyed. 2 Cor. 4:7-9
Anyway, I was almost giddy about being able to write again today and then it hit me - Lord what do you want to say? This season has been threatening to be a dry season for me spiritually and I have been fighting over the last month or so to keep from going there. There has been so much going on around me - not necessarily with me - but around me. Do you know the feeling? When it seems that things are peaceful within your own life yet the lives of those around you are in turmoil. That affects me. That affects my walk and my faith. I hurt for those people and ponder what it is that God is doing in their lives just like I do in my own trials.
I have sensed a season of weariness among the people of God. We are OVERWHELMED with trouble, suffering and responsibility and we desperately want to break free. Beloved, Jesus came to free us, to heal us and to give us peace. But He works in the trouble, suffering and responsibility in order that He may be our Victor through freedom, healing and peace. If there were no crisis there would be no need for refreshing. At times when we are overwhelmed there is nothing sweeter than the peace of God that passes all understanding. Rest in that - rest in the overwhelming flood because as Shadrach, Meshach and Abedego so firmly stated, "Our God is able to deliver us!" Without the fiery trials of life there is no deliverance. The glory of our Lord shines brightest in the deliverance, in the suffering, in the blood-stained cross. No death, no Savior....
But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are pressed but not crushed, persecuted not abandoned, struck down but not destroyed. 2 Cor. 4:7-9
Friday, March 19, 2010
Sing His Praises
Oh my goodness our God is good is He not? As I sit here today listening to the birds and smelling the fresh spring air and feeling the warmth of the sun on my face I just want to sing! Is there anything like the changing of the seasons that brings out the majesty of the Lord? Just when we are weary of the winter and He knows that another snowflake would drive us to the brink of insanity, He graces us with a few days of nearly perfect weather. How great is our God? He is so involved in every detail and He goes to great lengths to make that known if we will just stop and pay attention.
I had a WHINEY day yesterday, allergies are acting up, haven't had much sleep and I didn't really feel good. It doesn't take much to get us focused on the negatives in life - well at least it doesn't take much to turn me into a Negative Nelly - especially when I am tired. Let the world fall down around me but Lord knows don't interrupt my sleep! Anyway, I could feel the Spirit wooing me all day to pray and spend some time alone with Him but I didn't. I filled my day with all that I had to do and then the day was gone. I went to bed in the same mood I woke up in and wasted a day on ME. Forgive me Lord.
This morning threatened the same thing but this time I opened the Word first thing and went through my Esther study and the Lord spoke so sweetly to me. It brings tears to my eyes how relevant the scripture is right to me - today! I guess that is why the Word of God thrills me - because scripture speaks to me today, someone else 2000 years ago and it will speak to the generations to come as the Lord tarries! His Word is complete, everlasting and accomplishes the purpose He sent it forth to accomplish. What other god is there that is able to tell the beginning from the end? What other god is there like our God? None, I tell you, none! He is so high above us that we cannot even comprehend the height and depth and breadth of Him and yet He stoops, literally bends down, to speak directly to us, His fallen creation. What a God, what a God!
Oh Lord that we would sing Your praises today. Teach us, teach me, to be a grateful people. Teach us to DENY OURSELVES, take up our cross and follow You. You are so worthy, you are high and lifted up and exalted. May our lives reflect the GLORY of who You are. Make us all about YOU, all about YOU! Amen.
I had a WHINEY day yesterday, allergies are acting up, haven't had much sleep and I didn't really feel good. It doesn't take much to get us focused on the negatives in life - well at least it doesn't take much to turn me into a Negative Nelly - especially when I am tired. Let the world fall down around me but Lord knows don't interrupt my sleep! Anyway, I could feel the Spirit wooing me all day to pray and spend some time alone with Him but I didn't. I filled my day with all that I had to do and then the day was gone. I went to bed in the same mood I woke up in and wasted a day on ME. Forgive me Lord.
This morning threatened the same thing but this time I opened the Word first thing and went through my Esther study and the Lord spoke so sweetly to me. It brings tears to my eyes how relevant the scripture is right to me - today! I guess that is why the Word of God thrills me - because scripture speaks to me today, someone else 2000 years ago and it will speak to the generations to come as the Lord tarries! His Word is complete, everlasting and accomplishes the purpose He sent it forth to accomplish. What other god is there that is able to tell the beginning from the end? What other god is there like our God? None, I tell you, none! He is so high above us that we cannot even comprehend the height and depth and breadth of Him and yet He stoops, literally bends down, to speak directly to us, His fallen creation. What a God, what a God!
Oh Lord that we would sing Your praises today. Teach us, teach me, to be a grateful people. Teach us to DENY OURSELVES, take up our cross and follow You. You are so worthy, you are high and lifted up and exalted. May our lives reflect the GLORY of who You are. Make us all about YOU, all about YOU! Amen.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Orange Blossom Special
On a lighter note...I went today to get my first spray tan. I wouldn't ever pay for a service like this, I usually just stick to my "tan in a can" but this was a FREE offer. Well, you can't argue with free so I went - the caveat? The people who are spraying you are learning so, good luck! My only fear was that I would come back looking like an oompah-loompah (ask Willie Wonka). Anyway, I wore an old bathing suit and when I "disrobed" I was immediately mindful of every dessert, second helping and midnight snack I had enjoyed since last summer. If you need an excuse to start a diet this would be it!
Anyway, they give you several tips to follow after they are finished to help your tan last longer, one of them being not to shower for at least 6 - 8 hours afterwards. As I was reading the blog entry I had written earlier today to Kraig I began to cry. I had to immediately stop and gain my composure in order to assure that I would not mess up my spray tan! (I am not making this up - you couldn't make up anything this good!) So, I had to share because I got completely tickled that I was so concerned about my tan that I totally glossed over the sincerity of the moment. After all, we may not make it another eleven years if I have to walk around with streaks down my orange face!!
P.S. Kraig thinks it is cute! Two points for him! ;)
Anyway, they give you several tips to follow after they are finished to help your tan last longer, one of them being not to shower for at least 6 - 8 hours afterwards. As I was reading the blog entry I had written earlier today to Kraig I began to cry. I had to immediately stop and gain my composure in order to assure that I would not mess up my spray tan! (I am not making this up - you couldn't make up anything this good!) So, I had to share because I got completely tickled that I was so concerned about my tan that I totally glossed over the sincerity of the moment. After all, we may not make it another eleven years if I have to walk around with streaks down my orange face!!
P.S. Kraig thinks it is cute! Two points for him! ;)
Who Knew?
Eleven years, ELEVEN years! Today, Kraig and I have been married 11 years. I have been saying to myself all week - "who knew?" Ultimately, the answer to that question is that God knew! He knew in spite of all of our short-comings and fears that "He would do a work in our day", as He told Habakkuk, "that if He told us we would not believe!" Praise Him! I was talking to my Mom this morning about what we were doing at 9:30am eleven years ago...she was fixing me my last breakfast at home as a single woman. I almost cannot describe the feelings I had on that day...scared to death, not knowing what to expect, trying to be excited that this was my wedding day and trying to be brave because I knew this is what I had to do. This was the right choice. I didn't know much else but I knew that this was right and you can't improve on that. So, I made a choice.
Choice. That is a word that a lot of young people don't realize about marriage. Instead we substitute "feelings" for "choice". Then, when the feelings change the choice changes. But, when the choice is made and the feelings change - the choice remains. I almost can see now that making that choice without all of the feelings was a grace from God. As women, we are so driven by feeling that we can swing like a pendulum from one day to the next. If I had made my decision to marry Kraig on feeling, I would have probably bailed within a few years. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Kraig but I choose to stay. Why? Because this covenant is not mine to break. The marriage covenant belongs to God not man and I covenanted on that day to the Lord to be Kraig's wife.
I would be remiss if I didn't give all glory to the Lord first and foremost! We were a total mess in a total mess! Only God could have made us what we are today - joyful! We are joyful about each other and our marriage. We are joyful to the Lord for His sanctifying work in our lives through the hardships of life and marriage. We are joyful that we have been able to experience life together.
I would also be remiss if I didn't recognize that our eleven years is a drop in the bucket compared to the 88 plus years of marriage that we have had as our example from two COMMITTED sets of parents! We have known the perseverance and CHOICE of marriage from them year after year after year. I love nothing more than the thought of two gray-headed people loving each other right onto glory. God grant us this grace!
And to my husband...Kraig, on this day I love you more than I ever thought possible. I praise God for giving me what I needed and wanted even when I couldn't know what that was! It amazes me that you are to me each year all that I need and want as we grow older and walk through the seasons of life together. I would not want to do life with anyone but you! Thank you for cherishing me, loving our kids and being the servant-leader Christ has called you to be! I am overwhelmed that you have always seen in me what I hope to be. Thank you for being my companion, my counselor, my friend...who knew?
Choice. That is a word that a lot of young people don't realize about marriage. Instead we substitute "feelings" for "choice". Then, when the feelings change the choice changes. But, when the choice is made and the feelings change - the choice remains. I almost can see now that making that choice without all of the feelings was a grace from God. As women, we are so driven by feeling that we can swing like a pendulum from one day to the next. If I had made my decision to marry Kraig on feeling, I would have probably bailed within a few years. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Kraig but I choose to stay. Why? Because this covenant is not mine to break. The marriage covenant belongs to God not man and I covenanted on that day to the Lord to be Kraig's wife.
I would be remiss if I didn't give all glory to the Lord first and foremost! We were a total mess in a total mess! Only God could have made us what we are today - joyful! We are joyful about each other and our marriage. We are joyful to the Lord for His sanctifying work in our lives through the hardships of life and marriage. We are joyful that we have been able to experience life together.
I would also be remiss if I didn't recognize that our eleven years is a drop in the bucket compared to the 88 plus years of marriage that we have had as our example from two COMMITTED sets of parents! We have known the perseverance and CHOICE of marriage from them year after year after year. I love nothing more than the thought of two gray-headed people loving each other right onto glory. God grant us this grace!
And to my husband...Kraig, on this day I love you more than I ever thought possible. I praise God for giving me what I needed and wanted even when I couldn't know what that was! It amazes me that you are to me each year all that I need and want as we grow older and walk through the seasons of life together. I would not want to do life with anyone but you! Thank you for cherishing me, loving our kids and being the servant-leader Christ has called you to be! I am overwhelmed that you have always seen in me what I hope to be. Thank you for being my companion, my counselor, my friend...who knew?
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Can you say Eeyore?
Wow! The enemy is really doing a number on me right now (I am ashamed to say that I am cooperating) and I am probably the worst person for you to call if you need a bright spot in your day! I would be the hurricane in your parade or the one to burst all your bubbles! Am I the only one who has these days and truly hates them? I really even hate being in my own skin on days like this. It makes you want to go to bed and start all over again!
I am speculating that it has something to do with our long awaited Ladies' Retreat being over and all of the excitement that comes with that leading to a let down. I also am in a definite season of responsibility and being overwhelmed with everything. I have the distinct feeling that the other shoe is going to drop pretty soon and I am needing to make some spiritual progress upon my high places of responsibility right now while I still have one shoe left! So, I have been sitting here with my schizophrenic self volleying back and forth between a good cry and a good scream. I cry for a bit and then I get mad that I'm crying, then I cry because I'm mad and so on...you get the picture - and it's not a pretty one.
One thing I know for sure, this too shall pass. I am learning the true meaning of how little I control in life. Which leads me to ask God, "Why?", and to ask it often. I truly don't have a clue what He is doing in my life and this is one of those times when I am not okay with that - but does it matter? Not really. He is God and I am not and He will have His way, no matter what I say (that could be a poem: roses are red, violets are blue, He will have His way, No matter what I say!) You can see that the gift of poetry does not rest here! I guess I am looking for something clever, something wise, some spiritual truth to tie it all up in a nice bow but alas, nothing! Which brings to mind this: "In this world we will have tribulation...
God never promised a cake walk, in fact, He teaches time and again through His word that we will suffer. In the sermon on Sunday the point was brought out that suffering is a reference to "external pressures". All people suffer in their bodies, whether believers or unbelievers because of the curse of sin, but believers suffer externally as well. In the lesson on Saturday night I taught on suffering with JOY - uh oh, the revelation - don't exhort others to embrace what you can't do yourself - for it will truly come back and bite you in the proverbial butt!
Suffering with joy accomplishes many things but specifically these two: it increases the faith of other believers and it makes unbelievers take notice. It is natural to suffer with grumblings but it is supernatural (of God) to suffer with joy. This is what a dying world is looking to place their faith in - a hope, something supernatural, something outside of themselves and this dying world. A lost world is looking for JESUS! But, they will never find Him in us if we look just like them. Lesson to self!
To conclude, I do control one thing for sure, my attitude and my time in the word. God will equip me with joy if I ask, trust to receive it and renew my mind with scripture - looking to Jesus. The end to the scripture in John 16:33...Take hope, I have overcome the world. Do I choose to TAKE hope today or sit and watch it pass by? I'm trading my sorrows...for the joy of the Lord!
P.S. It's okay to call now ;)
I am speculating that it has something to do with our long awaited Ladies' Retreat being over and all of the excitement that comes with that leading to a let down. I also am in a definite season of responsibility and being overwhelmed with everything. I have the distinct feeling that the other shoe is going to drop pretty soon and I am needing to make some spiritual progress upon my high places of responsibility right now while I still have one shoe left! So, I have been sitting here with my schizophrenic self volleying back and forth between a good cry and a good scream. I cry for a bit and then I get mad that I'm crying, then I cry because I'm mad and so on...you get the picture - and it's not a pretty one.
One thing I know for sure, this too shall pass. I am learning the true meaning of how little I control in life. Which leads me to ask God, "Why?", and to ask it often. I truly don't have a clue what He is doing in my life and this is one of those times when I am not okay with that - but does it matter? Not really. He is God and I am not and He will have His way, no matter what I say (that could be a poem: roses are red, violets are blue, He will have His way, No matter what I say!) You can see that the gift of poetry does not rest here! I guess I am looking for something clever, something wise, some spiritual truth to tie it all up in a nice bow but alas, nothing! Which brings to mind this: "In this world we will have tribulation...
God never promised a cake walk, in fact, He teaches time and again through His word that we will suffer. In the sermon on Sunday the point was brought out that suffering is a reference to "external pressures". All people suffer in their bodies, whether believers or unbelievers because of the curse of sin, but believers suffer externally as well. In the lesson on Saturday night I taught on suffering with JOY - uh oh, the revelation - don't exhort others to embrace what you can't do yourself - for it will truly come back and bite you in the proverbial butt!
Suffering with joy accomplishes many things but specifically these two: it increases the faith of other believers and it makes unbelievers take notice. It is natural to suffer with grumblings but it is supernatural (of God) to suffer with joy. This is what a dying world is looking to place their faith in - a hope, something supernatural, something outside of themselves and this dying world. A lost world is looking for JESUS! But, they will never find Him in us if we look just like them. Lesson to self!
To conclude, I do control one thing for sure, my attitude and my time in the word. God will equip me with joy if I ask, trust to receive it and renew my mind with scripture - looking to Jesus. The end to the scripture in John 16:33...Take hope, I have overcome the world. Do I choose to TAKE hope today or sit and watch it pass by? I'm trading my sorrows...for the joy of the Lord!
P.S. It's okay to call now ;)
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Do You Swanee?
I had to laugh at myself just now and I had to share - I "swaneed" today, do you swanee? You know, when you say, "I swanee if ....then...." If you are from the South or you have a Momma or a Granny then they have probably said in moments of pure frustration, "I swanee!" I don't know where it comes from, somewhere between "a hill of beans" and "playin' possum" but in some woman's world many years ago the "swanee" came to be and since then yall, we have been "swanee-in'" ever since!
So, I am in my closet today looking at the same winter clothes that I have been looking at forever and I am trying to find something that will be merciful to my "winter 10" (this is slang for my extra weight that I put on to keep warm in the winter - you know, like an animal needs extra fur - well I need extra fat - my sister says that it's because you burn more calories in the winter trying to stay warm - I'm all for that explanation! It's better than saying I just lack the will-power or self-discipline to shut my mouth and go for a run!) Anyway, I am in my closet and I think to myself, "I swanee, if summer doesn't get here soon I am not going to have any clothes that I actually fit into - and not look like they were painted on!
I just had to share - I hope it gave you a laugh because it sure made me giggle - I swanee! Happy Valentine's Day!
So, I am in my closet today looking at the same winter clothes that I have been looking at forever and I am trying to find something that will be merciful to my "winter 10" (this is slang for my extra weight that I put on to keep warm in the winter - you know, like an animal needs extra fur - well I need extra fat - my sister says that it's because you burn more calories in the winter trying to stay warm - I'm all for that explanation! It's better than saying I just lack the will-power or self-discipline to shut my mouth and go for a run!) Anyway, I am in my closet and I think to myself, "I swanee, if summer doesn't get here soon I am not going to have any clothes that I actually fit into - and not look like they were painted on!
I just had to share - I hope it gave you a laugh because it sure made me giggle - I swanee! Happy Valentine's Day!
Whatever You Ask
I keep singing the lyrics of the Dave Matthews song "So Much to Say" in my head as I try to hone in on what it is that I am getting at in this post - I have two or three things working on my mind right now and they don't seem to intertwine but as I write it out it could all come together...or not. So, if you are reading this and it doesn't come together for you in the end then I'm sorry!
The first thing that I got stumped over this morning was a quote from Timothy Keller's book, "Prodigal God". I just finished the last few pages today and he said that he had a lady in his congregation who was taught a message of "merited" salvation growing up - that she could earn God's favor through her actions and so the concept of "unmerited" salvation by sheer grace was new to her.
In her words: "That is a scary idea! Oh, it's good scary, but still scary. If I was saved by my good works then there would be a limit to what God could ask of me or put me through. But if it is really true that I am a sinner saved by sheer grace - at God's infinite cost - then there's nothing He cannot ask of me!"
I had to read that several times through and really think about the meaning of her statement. What I came to was this: In our lives when we earn something then we control the boundaries of what we have earned. But when something is a free gift then we are not in control of the boundaries of the gift - the giver is. For example, if you pay for your own wedding then you are in control of all of the decisions. When someone else pays for it they may allow you to make all of the decisions but at their choosing they could make all of the decisions and you would not be able to say anything to the contrary. There is an indebtedness that we feel to someone that gives to us, there is a certain control that that person can have over you depending on the size of the gift. As believers, that gift is LIFE. So, there is no limit over what God can ask of us!
Scary? Yes, at first glance but not with God. Why? Because our God is love and all that He would ever ask of us would be for His glory and our good. "God is not a man that He should lie or a son of man that He should change His mind. Has He said and will he not do it? Or has He spoken and will He not make it good?" (Numbers 23:19) And again in Isaiah 45:5, "I am the Lord and there is no other." God is "other" not "same". He is not like the human masters that we serve, He is not like us, He is other than us which means that we cannot comprehend what He is apart from His word. When we are faced with the idea of entrusting our lives and being subject to someone we can see how our lives would be affected as "slaves" by the kind of master that we serve. If you have a harsh or cruel master then your life would be negatively affected. On the other hand, if you have a loving and kind master then your life would be positively affected.
In modern times we don't use these words, we say "employee" and "employer" or we say "child" and "parent" or we say "student" and "teacher". I use the terms "slave or servant" and "master" to get us thinking about the terminology of being "bond-servants" or "bond-slaves" of Christ. Paul refers to himself as the "bond-servant" of Christ. So, why associate ourselves with slavery when God died to set us free? A bond-servant was one who had been set free but willingly chose to continue to serve his master. As a slave, to stay and serve after you have been given your freedom has to say something about the kind of master that you have. Who willingly chooses to be a servant to a cruel, harsh master? However, if your life as a servant was better than a life lived on your own, wouldn't you stay?
So, that brings us full circle to being able to understand what it means that it is "good" scary that God can ask anything of us without limits. We serve a God who will only ask if it is for His glory and our good. He wouldn't ask unnecessarily, He wouldn't ask to try and humiliate you, He wouldn't ask to pass the buck because He doesn't want to get His hands dirty - He isn't like the human masters that we serve - He is altogether lovely, altogether worthy and altogether wonderful!
I have to pause and think, what does that mean for me? How does this affect how I live for my Master? I cannot define the limits of my own salvation because it was not my gift to give. I cannot say, "Okay God, only this far and that's enough." (Although, in the last few months I have definitely tried!) From human terms that is VERY scary! What if He asks me to bear a burden or do something that hurts for His glory? What if He asks me to suffer loss and give up some comforts I have grown accustomed to for His glory? What if He asks me to die? Do I get to say, "No?" The question that is more important - would I want to? I don't want to say no, I want to be faithful and trusting and say "Yes, Lord, here I am, send me!" But truthfully, that brave woman is only in my mind, she is not in my heart. Oh Lord, only You can make me brave, only You can make me trust, only You can make me strong. Grant me by your Holy Spirit the ability to say, "Yes, Lord, whatever you ask, yes!"
The first thing that I got stumped over this morning was a quote from Timothy Keller's book, "Prodigal God". I just finished the last few pages today and he said that he had a lady in his congregation who was taught a message of "merited" salvation growing up - that she could earn God's favor through her actions and so the concept of "unmerited" salvation by sheer grace was new to her.
In her words: "That is a scary idea! Oh, it's good scary, but still scary. If I was saved by my good works then there would be a limit to what God could ask of me or put me through. But if it is really true that I am a sinner saved by sheer grace - at God's infinite cost - then there's nothing He cannot ask of me!"
I had to read that several times through and really think about the meaning of her statement. What I came to was this: In our lives when we earn something then we control the boundaries of what we have earned. But when something is a free gift then we are not in control of the boundaries of the gift - the giver is. For example, if you pay for your own wedding then you are in control of all of the decisions. When someone else pays for it they may allow you to make all of the decisions but at their choosing they could make all of the decisions and you would not be able to say anything to the contrary. There is an indebtedness that we feel to someone that gives to us, there is a certain control that that person can have over you depending on the size of the gift. As believers, that gift is LIFE. So, there is no limit over what God can ask of us!
Scary? Yes, at first glance but not with God. Why? Because our God is love and all that He would ever ask of us would be for His glory and our good. "God is not a man that He should lie or a son of man that He should change His mind. Has He said and will he not do it? Or has He spoken and will He not make it good?" (Numbers 23:19) And again in Isaiah 45:5, "I am the Lord and there is no other." God is "other" not "same". He is not like the human masters that we serve, He is not like us, He is other than us which means that we cannot comprehend what He is apart from His word. When we are faced with the idea of entrusting our lives and being subject to someone we can see how our lives would be affected as "slaves" by the kind of master that we serve. If you have a harsh or cruel master then your life would be negatively affected. On the other hand, if you have a loving and kind master then your life would be positively affected.
In modern times we don't use these words, we say "employee" and "employer" or we say "child" and "parent" or we say "student" and "teacher". I use the terms "slave or servant" and "master" to get us thinking about the terminology of being "bond-servants" or "bond-slaves" of Christ. Paul refers to himself as the "bond-servant" of Christ. So, why associate ourselves with slavery when God died to set us free? A bond-servant was one who had been set free but willingly chose to continue to serve his master. As a slave, to stay and serve after you have been given your freedom has to say something about the kind of master that you have. Who willingly chooses to be a servant to a cruel, harsh master? However, if your life as a servant was better than a life lived on your own, wouldn't you stay?
So, that brings us full circle to being able to understand what it means that it is "good" scary that God can ask anything of us without limits. We serve a God who will only ask if it is for His glory and our good. He wouldn't ask unnecessarily, He wouldn't ask to try and humiliate you, He wouldn't ask to pass the buck because He doesn't want to get His hands dirty - He isn't like the human masters that we serve - He is altogether lovely, altogether worthy and altogether wonderful!
I have to pause and think, what does that mean for me? How does this affect how I live for my Master? I cannot define the limits of my own salvation because it was not my gift to give. I cannot say, "Okay God, only this far and that's enough." (Although, in the last few months I have definitely tried!) From human terms that is VERY scary! What if He asks me to bear a burden or do something that hurts for His glory? What if He asks me to suffer loss and give up some comforts I have grown accustomed to for His glory? What if He asks me to die? Do I get to say, "No?" The question that is more important - would I want to? I don't want to say no, I want to be faithful and trusting and say "Yes, Lord, here I am, send me!" But truthfully, that brave woman is only in my mind, she is not in my heart. Oh Lord, only You can make me brave, only You can make me trust, only You can make me strong. Grant me by your Holy Spirit the ability to say, "Yes, Lord, whatever you ask, yes!"
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Suffering and the Goodness of God
I have decided that the whole purpose of this blog is to teach to myself. I have lessons that I teach to myself but I have a tendency to forget those lessons and then I have to re-teach myself. (I guess that says something about the kind of teacher AND the kind of learner that I am!) Really, they are the lessons that the Holy Spirit is teaching me but I have a short memory and therefore, I end up having to learn again the things that I thought I had down! Sound familiar? However, there are some lessons over time that should stick and that I just want to learn and get on with it! (I think that is what we affectionately refer to as "sanctification" but hard-headed seems like a more appropriate term!) Toiling on....
I am certain that even though I aspire to write about suffering and the goodness of God, I will not even scratch the surface in this one blog post. Truly, I could not scratch the surface in a thousand blog posts but I am so captivated by the paradox of suffering and the goodness of God that I had to spend a little time teaching it to myself.
Yesterday I finished a brief book by John Piper on the book of Ruth. He talked about Naomi and her suffering and bitterness toward God for her circumstances after the death of her husband and two sons. When she returns to her hometown of Bethlehem she is openly resentful of the Lord and what calamity has come upon her. What Piper points out is that all of this is working for Naomi's good and God's glory even before she can see it. How? First, Naomi would not have gone home to Bethlehem had a famine not occurred in Moab. Second, Ruth would not have married Boaz had her first husband not died. Third, Naomi would not have been included in the lineage of Jesus Christ without the move to Bethlehem and the death of her husband and children. All of these three things tragic but all necessary for the good to come! Of course, like most of us, when we cannot see what God is doing in the midst of our suffering we assume that He is far from us or that He is punishing us or that He does not love us. On the contrary, He is moving, as Piper says,"In a thousand different ways that we cannot know or see." God had Naomi's good planned out all the way into eternity future even before she lost her husband or her sons. Indeed even before she was born.
For us, we cannot see past the minute that we are in right now, we lack the ability to be able to see into the future and how God is moving on our behalf. Take for instance Job. In the first chapter of Job when he has just lost everything, Job has no way of knowing how the book will end. He doesn't know that God will restore to him all that he has lost and then some. The bible tells us that "in spite of all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God." Job 1:22 So, what does this call for in us as children of God?
First, to believe, regardless of circumstances (which is believing in FAITH) that God is good! His word tells us repeatedly that He is and His word is truth so we start here. Second, we look behind us to see how God has been good to us in the past. History plays a part in our future. Call out and praise the blessings, the mercies and the graciousness of our God to us from eternity past. His word says that "He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world that we would be holy and blameless before Him." Ephesians 1:4 Literally, that means before He created the world He knew you and chose you for His purpose, to be the recipient of His lavish love. What a God!
Lastly, we seek to understand what is the "goodness of God". This is the stumbling block! God's goodness is not a human goodness, a "Western-society" version of goodness although at times His goodness is material it is not the only way that He shows His goodness. God's goodness is ultimately wrapped up in the gospel of Jesus Christ. That is His overwhelming goodness to us. Although He can and does show goodness to us in other ways, which is part of the overflow of His abundant love, His greatest expression of goodness was to redeem us from sin. Something we cannot do for ourselves. Something that all of the material possessions or "other goodnesses" could not do for us. Even if God is good to us in a thousand other ways, if He doesn't give us His Son then we will perish along with all of the other "goodnesses" that we so desire. Yet, more often than not we want the others above the ultimate.
Let's call those other "goodnesses" blessings. We so often associate God's love with material possessions, good health and success in life, to name a few. When those things are taken away we assume that God is no longer pleased with us and we cry out "Why me God, why me?" We are so ingrained in our culture to believe that love is pampering but James MacDonald has said,"God's love is not a pampering love, it is a perfecting love." He doesn't love like us, think like us or act like us even though we keep expecting Him to. He is FAR ABOVE us. God says in Isaiah 55:9, "My ways are higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts." We think that if we suffer that God is punishing us or angry with us even though we don't abide under His wrath as His children (Romans 5:9). This is an oppressive tactic from the enemy - making us question God's goodness and ultimately His love. The point? God's goodness is wrapped up in our suffering! God's goodness is wrapped up in the whole of our lives, in the good AND the bad. If God only controlled the good then He wouldn't be God. He controls it all and in the end we can say, "He has worked ALL things to the GOOD of those who LOVE HIM and are called according to HIS purpose." Romans 8:28
I pray for us, namely myself, that we would be patient and wait to see the goodness of God in the land of the living. That we would know and understand what is the goodness of God toward us, first in Jesus Christ and then in a thousand other ways that we can't fathom. And that we would seek to exalt His goodness for what it really is in the way that we display our lives to a lost and dying world looking for the "goodness of God".
I am certain that even though I aspire to write about suffering and the goodness of God, I will not even scratch the surface in this one blog post. Truly, I could not scratch the surface in a thousand blog posts but I am so captivated by the paradox of suffering and the goodness of God that I had to spend a little time teaching it to myself.
Yesterday I finished a brief book by John Piper on the book of Ruth. He talked about Naomi and her suffering and bitterness toward God for her circumstances after the death of her husband and two sons. When she returns to her hometown of Bethlehem she is openly resentful of the Lord and what calamity has come upon her. What Piper points out is that all of this is working for Naomi's good and God's glory even before she can see it. How? First, Naomi would not have gone home to Bethlehem had a famine not occurred in Moab. Second, Ruth would not have married Boaz had her first husband not died. Third, Naomi would not have been included in the lineage of Jesus Christ without the move to Bethlehem and the death of her husband and children. All of these three things tragic but all necessary for the good to come! Of course, like most of us, when we cannot see what God is doing in the midst of our suffering we assume that He is far from us or that He is punishing us or that He does not love us. On the contrary, He is moving, as Piper says,"In a thousand different ways that we cannot know or see." God had Naomi's good planned out all the way into eternity future even before she lost her husband or her sons. Indeed even before she was born.
For us, we cannot see past the minute that we are in right now, we lack the ability to be able to see into the future and how God is moving on our behalf. Take for instance Job. In the first chapter of Job when he has just lost everything, Job has no way of knowing how the book will end. He doesn't know that God will restore to him all that he has lost and then some. The bible tells us that "in spite of all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God." Job 1:22 So, what does this call for in us as children of God?
First, to believe, regardless of circumstances (which is believing in FAITH) that God is good! His word tells us repeatedly that He is and His word is truth so we start here. Second, we look behind us to see how God has been good to us in the past. History plays a part in our future. Call out and praise the blessings, the mercies and the graciousness of our God to us from eternity past. His word says that "He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world that we would be holy and blameless before Him." Ephesians 1:4 Literally, that means before He created the world He knew you and chose you for His purpose, to be the recipient of His lavish love. What a God!
Lastly, we seek to understand what is the "goodness of God". This is the stumbling block! God's goodness is not a human goodness, a "Western-society" version of goodness although at times His goodness is material it is not the only way that He shows His goodness. God's goodness is ultimately wrapped up in the gospel of Jesus Christ. That is His overwhelming goodness to us. Although He can and does show goodness to us in other ways, which is part of the overflow of His abundant love, His greatest expression of goodness was to redeem us from sin. Something we cannot do for ourselves. Something that all of the material possessions or "other goodnesses" could not do for us. Even if God is good to us in a thousand other ways, if He doesn't give us His Son then we will perish along with all of the other "goodnesses" that we so desire. Yet, more often than not we want the others above the ultimate.
Let's call those other "goodnesses" blessings. We so often associate God's love with material possessions, good health and success in life, to name a few. When those things are taken away we assume that God is no longer pleased with us and we cry out "Why me God, why me?" We are so ingrained in our culture to believe that love is pampering but James MacDonald has said,"God's love is not a pampering love, it is a perfecting love." He doesn't love like us, think like us or act like us even though we keep expecting Him to. He is FAR ABOVE us. God says in Isaiah 55:9, "My ways are higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts." We think that if we suffer that God is punishing us or angry with us even though we don't abide under His wrath as His children (Romans 5:9). This is an oppressive tactic from the enemy - making us question God's goodness and ultimately His love. The point? God's goodness is wrapped up in our suffering! God's goodness is wrapped up in the whole of our lives, in the good AND the bad. If God only controlled the good then He wouldn't be God. He controls it all and in the end we can say, "He has worked ALL things to the GOOD of those who LOVE HIM and are called according to HIS purpose." Romans 8:28
I pray for us, namely myself, that we would be patient and wait to see the goodness of God in the land of the living. That we would know and understand what is the goodness of God toward us, first in Jesus Christ and then in a thousand other ways that we can't fathom. And that we would seek to exalt His goodness for what it really is in the way that we display our lives to a lost and dying world looking for the "goodness of God".
Sunday, February 7, 2010
A Day of Rest
Even though my blog is officially 5 days old, I feel weird missing a day between postings. You know that feeling you get when you forget to brush your teeth (I never do that) or you forgot your earrings or your lunch for the day? Okay, seriously, I might forget to brush my teeth one day every six months but it happens, especially on a Saturday when I get started with coffee and then that feeds into lunch and then before I know it its dinner time... Maybe no one out there is relating to me or would admit it but sometimes we forget. Sorry Mom! It's not because you didn't teach me to brush twice a day...it wasn't something you did so don't blame yourself!
Moving on...I love the Lord's Day! It is my favorite day of the week! I love being at church with my church family. It hits me quite often how these are the people I will be spending eternity with. There are family members that I share a blood bond with that sadly I will not spend eternity with if God does not intervene. But my brothers and sisters in Christ will be my family for all of eternity. So often we come and go on Sundays with a few passing niceties and then we go on with our week until the next Sunday without so much as a phone call or an email. It just shouldn't be! It makes me realize how important it is to pour into one another now, to help bear burdens, to petition the throne of grace and invest time with our heavenly family while we are here on earth so that we will have some great memories when "we all get to heaven".
We have missed quite a few Sundays because of the frozen tundra we have been experiencing in Central Virginia and I have missed being in the Lord's house. Sometimes I wonder if we weren't ever able to "miss" church if we would ever "miss" church. Would we be so grateful for the privilege of the fellowship and worship that we are able to have with Him in His house? I thought about the freedoms of this country we live in and how there are people in other countries that long to be in the house of God but for one reason or another cannot. I thought about the people who are shut-ins and elderly that maybe once experienced the fellowship of being among God's people every week but now they can't be. Today, the hymns seemed sweeter, the words more poignant, the Spirit more precious. I didn't want it to end. Praise Jesus Christ that one day, because of His sacrifice, it won't have to!
We are preaching through the book of Luke and today we looked at the first 6 verses of chapter 6 dealing with Jesus being Lord of the Sabbath. It struck me that even though we had church at 2pm and things have been off because of the snow that Jesus is still Lord of the Sabbath even when the Sabbath doesn't look like it's supposed to. We get hung up on times and plans but God changes those according to His plans and His time. All the control that we have is a complete illusion. He can open the treasuries of snow anytime He chooses and scatter our plans. Indeed, even the heart of the king and the decision of the lot is in His hand. So, it brings to light the fact that we serve the Lord of All! And that can be comforting or it can be a source of anxiety. The thing is, what we think doesn't change the truth - He is Lord of All. So, on this day of rest that the Lord of All created for our rest, how appropriate that we should "rest" in the knowledge that we can leave it all at His feet, today and every day. "My times are in Your hand!" Psalm 31:5
Moving on...I love the Lord's Day! It is my favorite day of the week! I love being at church with my church family. It hits me quite often how these are the people I will be spending eternity with. There are family members that I share a blood bond with that sadly I will not spend eternity with if God does not intervene. But my brothers and sisters in Christ will be my family for all of eternity. So often we come and go on Sundays with a few passing niceties and then we go on with our week until the next Sunday without so much as a phone call or an email. It just shouldn't be! It makes me realize how important it is to pour into one another now, to help bear burdens, to petition the throne of grace and invest time with our heavenly family while we are here on earth so that we will have some great memories when "we all get to heaven".
We have missed quite a few Sundays because of the frozen tundra we have been experiencing in Central Virginia and I have missed being in the Lord's house. Sometimes I wonder if we weren't ever able to "miss" church if we would ever "miss" church. Would we be so grateful for the privilege of the fellowship and worship that we are able to have with Him in His house? I thought about the freedoms of this country we live in and how there are people in other countries that long to be in the house of God but for one reason or another cannot. I thought about the people who are shut-ins and elderly that maybe once experienced the fellowship of being among God's people every week but now they can't be. Today, the hymns seemed sweeter, the words more poignant, the Spirit more precious. I didn't want it to end. Praise Jesus Christ that one day, because of His sacrifice, it won't have to!
We are preaching through the book of Luke and today we looked at the first 6 verses of chapter 6 dealing with Jesus being Lord of the Sabbath. It struck me that even though we had church at 2pm and things have been off because of the snow that Jesus is still Lord of the Sabbath even when the Sabbath doesn't look like it's supposed to. We get hung up on times and plans but God changes those according to His plans and His time. All the control that we have is a complete illusion. He can open the treasuries of snow anytime He chooses and scatter our plans. Indeed, even the heart of the king and the decision of the lot is in His hand. So, it brings to light the fact that we serve the Lord of All! And that can be comforting or it can be a source of anxiety. The thing is, what we think doesn't change the truth - He is Lord of All. So, on this day of rest that the Lord of All created for our rest, how appropriate that we should "rest" in the knowledge that we can leave it all at His feet, today and every day. "My times are in Your hand!" Psalm 31:5
Friday, February 5, 2010
A story about a Perfectionist
I have continued on in my list for cultivating humility and today I came upon an interesting point that can stifle humility: perfectionism. On the surface it seems that this doesn't relate with being humble but looking deeper it becomes apparent how it can and surely does.
Perfectionism - Ah, the fondness of having things just the way you want them! I am guilty as charged! I love a clean house, clean children, a clean desk, a neat blog, perfectly manicured nails, a low-calorie diet (still striving for perfection here :) and living an overall "Norman Rockwell" picturesque kind of life. I have little tolerance for less than perfect in myself and often in other people which can admittedly make me hard to live with. I am reminded of the scripture in Proverbs that says, "It is better to dwell on the corner of a roof than in the house with a contentious woman!" I have been reminded by the Holy Spirit and my husband about this word many times in eleven years! I have to take this opportunity to publicly apologize to my family, "I am sorry and yes, I do realize this about myself. However, I hope that I have made some progress." Again, the plank in my own eye is truly a LOG! It's amazing when you actually have to write stuff out how horrible it sounds! The perfectionist in me wants to hit the delete button. What a testimony to the pervasiveness of the sinful,prideful heart. What a reason to praise the Lord for the SINLESS,HUMBLE sacrifice of Jesus that "cleanses us from all unrighteousness!" I am struck by how Jesus is constantly the direct opposite to our flesh which makes Him the only One who in the flesh could condemn sin and satisfy the wrath of God. We can't do that for ourselves no matter how much of a perfectionist we are. Now, do you see the connection to a lack of humility? Fortunately, the longer I live the more I realize that God will not allow me to always have it my way, rarely do we get to have it our way. Why? Because this isn't Burger King, JESUS is Lord, not me, and if I do "have it my way" then I think I'm in control and not Him. I think I know what's best for me more than my Creator and then the clay begins to say to the Potter, "Why did you make me this way?" I take matters into my own hands instead of leaving them with Him, where they should be. The point? I don't think I'll ever not love a clean house or all of the other things listed above but there is freedom in knowing that the world will not come to an end if they aren't that way, there is freedom in knowing that God is in PERFECT control and if it means that I spend more time investing in someone other than me, Praise the Lord, seriously!
My beautiful mother-in-law is a great example of this. She is constantly wanting to be organized but she will readily admit it isn't one of her gifts! But that's not what people see in her. What they SEE is a woman who always has a kind word or a gentle hug or an ear to listen. A woman who remembers all the details of your illness or the name of your ailing sister or your often overlooked anniversary (I'm not speaking from experience!) There have been many days when I have gone to the mailbox in need of a word of encouragement only to find a card from her. I keep a card in my bible that she sent to my Grandfather just days before he went to be with the Lord that are full of scriptures that would strengthen him in his last days as a pilgrim, cheering him on to the hope that is to come! I praise the Lord for the godly example she has been to me over the last 11 years. She is one of the few people that I know that I would say is self-less. A true rarity in today's world! Thank you, Charlotte for the beauty of Christ rests upon you.
Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for “ God resists the proud,But gives grace to the humble.” 1 Peter 5:4-6
Perfectionism - Ah, the fondness of having things just the way you want them! I am guilty as charged! I love a clean house, clean children, a clean desk, a neat blog, perfectly manicured nails, a low-calorie diet (still striving for perfection here :) and living an overall "Norman Rockwell" picturesque kind of life. I have little tolerance for less than perfect in myself and often in other people which can admittedly make me hard to live with. I am reminded of the scripture in Proverbs that says, "It is better to dwell on the corner of a roof than in the house with a contentious woman!" I have been reminded by the Holy Spirit and my husband about this word many times in eleven years! I have to take this opportunity to publicly apologize to my family, "I am sorry and yes, I do realize this about myself. However, I hope that I have made some progress." Again, the plank in my own eye is truly a LOG! It's amazing when you actually have to write stuff out how horrible it sounds! The perfectionist in me wants to hit the delete button. What a testimony to the pervasiveness of the sinful,prideful heart. What a reason to praise the Lord for the SINLESS,HUMBLE sacrifice of Jesus that "cleanses us from all unrighteousness!" I am struck by how Jesus is constantly the direct opposite to our flesh which makes Him the only One who in the flesh could condemn sin and satisfy the wrath of God. We can't do that for ourselves no matter how much of a perfectionist we are. Now, do you see the connection to a lack of humility? Fortunately, the longer I live the more I realize that God will not allow me to always have it my way, rarely do we get to have it our way. Why? Because this isn't Burger King, JESUS is Lord, not me, and if I do "have it my way" then I think I'm in control and not Him. I think I know what's best for me more than my Creator and then the clay begins to say to the Potter, "Why did you make me this way?" I take matters into my own hands instead of leaving them with Him, where they should be. The point? I don't think I'll ever not love a clean house or all of the other things listed above but there is freedom in knowing that the world will not come to an end if they aren't that way, there is freedom in knowing that God is in PERFECT control and if it means that I spend more time investing in someone other than me, Praise the Lord, seriously!
My beautiful mother-in-law is a great example of this. She is constantly wanting to be organized but she will readily admit it isn't one of her gifts! But that's not what people see in her. What they SEE is a woman who always has a kind word or a gentle hug or an ear to listen. A woman who remembers all the details of your illness or the name of your ailing sister or your often overlooked anniversary (I'm not speaking from experience!) There have been many days when I have gone to the mailbox in need of a word of encouragement only to find a card from her. I keep a card in my bible that she sent to my Grandfather just days before he went to be with the Lord that are full of scriptures that would strengthen him in his last days as a pilgrim, cheering him on to the hope that is to come! I praise the Lord for the godly example she has been to me over the last 11 years. She is one of the few people that I know that I would say is self-less. A true rarity in today's world! Thank you, Charlotte for the beauty of Christ rests upon you.
Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to your elders. Yes, all of you be submissive to one another, and be clothed with humility, for “ God resists the proud,But gives grace to the humble.” 1 Peter 5:4-6
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Woe is me, I am undone
In my study over the last few months I have been drawn to several parables that have made me focus in on the sin of pride in my life. Truly, I don't know if there is a harder sin to gain dominion over because all of sin begins in the root of pride. Back in the fall we began studying the parable of the Prodigal Son in Sunday School. I felt that I knew this parable front to back and that there wasn't any hidden meaning for me to gain. Then suddenly this parable was everywhere - in my daily devotions, in messages I would listen to, in books I was reading. I realized that I needed to confess my arrogance and take note that God was trying to get my attention. It was about that time that my dear friend Jessica gave me a copy of the book "The Prodigal God" by Tim Keller. I promised her I would read it but I set it aside for the present time thinking again that I didn't have much I could glean from another interpretation of this well known parable. I cannot tell you how very wrong I was!
If you are familiar with the parable, found in Luke 15:11-32, you know that there are two sons, the younger who is often known as the Prodigal Son and the elder who is most often considered the faithful son. Upon further investigation this parable has as much or more to do with the wicked heart of the elder son then the redemption of the younger son. After reading the first few chapters of Tim Keller's book I was immediately convicted of an elder brother spirit! I cannot even begin to tell you how disturbing this was to me, the fact that I had related all these years with the bitterness and anger of the elder son toward his father for welcoming the younger son back with no penalty! Even to write this out pains me because I can still identify with those feelings.
I give that much background to bring the story full circle to today's post. I have been asking the Lord to convict me and grant me a spirit of humility. I am aware that this can be a dangerous prayer, as my Momma says, "Be careful what you pray for!" But I had finally gotten to the point where the fear of being arrogant and prideful was greater than the fear of God renewing a right spirit within me - no matter how he may do it, I think :) - ask me in few years I'll let you know! Anyway, I was reading from one of my favorite blogs last night, 9marks, and I was looking over some of the older posts and I came upon two concurrent posts titled "Cultivate Humility". I immediately said to myself, "Self, this sounds like a post for you!" These posts contain two lists, one that identifies prideful behaviors and attitudes and the other which identifies and cultivates humble behaviors. What a treasure!
I began this morning with the first three: 1)complaining against God or passing judgement on God, 2)a lack of gratitude and 3)anger. I spent a while on the parable of The Landowner in Matthew 20:1-16. The same attitude from the elder brother permeates the hearts of the servants who were hired first. Again, I am struck to the heart. "What shall we say then? There is NO injustice with God, is there? May it never be!" Romans 9:14
Wow, I have such a long way to go! My prayer and petition is that as fellow believers we would diligently seek to be humble that God would not resist us but give grace to us, starting with me. Let us come boldly before the throne and ask that we might receive humility directly from the source!
If you are familiar with the parable, found in Luke 15:11-32, you know that there are two sons, the younger who is often known as the Prodigal Son and the elder who is most often considered the faithful son. Upon further investigation this parable has as much or more to do with the wicked heart of the elder son then the redemption of the younger son. After reading the first few chapters of Tim Keller's book I was immediately convicted of an elder brother spirit! I cannot even begin to tell you how disturbing this was to me, the fact that I had related all these years with the bitterness and anger of the elder son toward his father for welcoming the younger son back with no penalty! Even to write this out pains me because I can still identify with those feelings.
I give that much background to bring the story full circle to today's post. I have been asking the Lord to convict me and grant me a spirit of humility. I am aware that this can be a dangerous prayer, as my Momma says, "Be careful what you pray for!" But I had finally gotten to the point where the fear of being arrogant and prideful was greater than the fear of God renewing a right spirit within me - no matter how he may do it, I think :) - ask me in few years I'll let you know! Anyway, I was reading from one of my favorite blogs last night, 9marks, and I was looking over some of the older posts and I came upon two concurrent posts titled "Cultivate Humility". I immediately said to myself, "Self, this sounds like a post for you!" These posts contain two lists, one that identifies prideful behaviors and attitudes and the other which identifies and cultivates humble behaviors. What a treasure!
I began this morning with the first three: 1)complaining against God or passing judgement on God, 2)a lack of gratitude and 3)anger. I spent a while on the parable of The Landowner in Matthew 20:1-16. The same attitude from the elder brother permeates the hearts of the servants who were hired first. Again, I am struck to the heart. "What shall we say then? There is NO injustice with God, is there? May it never be!" Romans 9:14
Wow, I have such a long way to go! My prayer and petition is that as fellow believers we would diligently seek to be humble that God would not resist us but give grace to us, starting with me. Let us come boldly before the throne and ask that we might receive humility directly from the source!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Let it snow and snow and snow...
It can really wear on a girl to be stuck inside for days and days on end, especially one who enjoys going as much as .....others. I haven't stepped foot out of these four walls for anything other than to get the mail and walk to the top of the road and back. I haven't put my face on or placed one ounce of styling product on this head since Friday. (It's Tuesday in case you didn't know and I almost didn't!) I keep walking past the mirror and I've just quit looking because it is starting to depress me. Yesterday, on my daily trek to the top of the road, the mailman turned down the street. I was mortified! I was a total sight - ball cap, yoga pants tucked into my "faux Ugg" boots, chetah print gloves and a black ski jacket. He waved as he passed by with a grin on his face. Probably because he was mortified at my get up too!
So it goes without saying that I have self-diagnosed myself with a serious case of cabin fever! I even started to think today that I was a little, dare I say it, BORED? It hasn't been often in 10 years that I have said that I was bored. I know as soon as I get back to work that all of the things I should have been doing will come to mind but for now, I'm bored. (Sorry Dad, I'm pretty sure there was something in your sermon about that!) Anyway, I can't cook anything else because I will just eat it, I've finished the latest biography I had been reading and if I do one more thing to this blog design it will surely blow up the site so, here I sit.
I believe that in times like this God intends for us to be still and quiet. How often in life is it just still and quiet? In fact, just the other day I was wishing for some true "quiet time" to have a few minutes alone with the Lord. Isn't that just the way we are as humans, even more so as women? We long for the quiet and then when we get it we want to be doing something else. I am reminded of the verse in 1 Timothy 6:6 that states, "Godliness with CONTENTMENT is great gain!" I won't lie, I still have a ways to go when it comes to being content in all things. Maybe that is my lesson for today, contentment is gain and not just any kinda gain but GREAT gain. Isn't that the way God works? He doesn't just give us a little gain or even some gain but He gives us GREAT gain. When we seek to be like Him and be content in Him then it is great gain to us no matter what the circumstances of life...even when it snows and snows and snows!
So it goes without saying that I have self-diagnosed myself with a serious case of cabin fever! I even started to think today that I was a little, dare I say it, BORED? It hasn't been often in 10 years that I have said that I was bored. I know as soon as I get back to work that all of the things I should have been doing will come to mind but for now, I'm bored. (Sorry Dad, I'm pretty sure there was something in your sermon about that!) Anyway, I can't cook anything else because I will just eat it, I've finished the latest biography I had been reading and if I do one more thing to this blog design it will surely blow up the site so, here I sit.
I believe that in times like this God intends for us to be still and quiet. How often in life is it just still and quiet? In fact, just the other day I was wishing for some true "quiet time" to have a few minutes alone with the Lord. Isn't that just the way we are as humans, even more so as women? We long for the quiet and then when we get it we want to be doing something else. I am reminded of the verse in 1 Timothy 6:6 that states, "Godliness with CONTENTMENT is great gain!" I won't lie, I still have a ways to go when it comes to being content in all things. Maybe that is my lesson for today, contentment is gain and not just any kinda gain but GREAT gain. Isn't that the way God works? He doesn't just give us a little gain or even some gain but He gives us GREAT gain. When we seek to be like Him and be content in Him then it is great gain to us no matter what the circumstances of life...even when it snows and snows and snows!
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