I remember beginning 2012 with a blog about resolutions and goals for the year. I haven’t looked back but I’m pretty sure that I didn’t meet those goals or even work towards them past the month of January. Life has a way of taking captive all of your long term vision and making the here and now the focus. I have one single resolution for this year: “Not gaining the world and losing my soul.”
It has been an extreme 2012. Although I don’t feel any different today than I did yesterday, I do relish the idea of a fresh start. However, I have to stop myself from being too idealistic. It seems that this is easily made an idol in my life...idealism, comfort, perfection. I was reminded over the holidays that Jesus didn’t come for my comfort. He didn’t hang on the cross so that I could be comfortable. He didn’t even die first and foremost FOR ME...hang with me here...
Jesus died first for His Father. He died for the express purpose of satisfying God’s wrath toward sin and justifying His holiness. In His grace I am the benefactor but not the object. Lesson learned: I am not the object of God’s affection. God is the object of His own affection. Don’t we get uncomfortable with that statement? If I’m honest, I do. Everything in this world points toward me as the center. Hence the reason I am thankful for the flu.
Let me paint an accurate picture. For the last month people in our extended family have been dropping like flies with the flu. It went through one household and then the next yet we remained unaffected, that is, until December 23rd. Landon came down with the flu on Sunday and then Kraig quickly succumbed on Monday placing a thick cloud of germs and silence over the McBride house. Lausyn and I felt like sitting ducks on the “sick” side of the doctor’s waiting room. Every ache, sneeze or cough was a sure sign of impending doom.
We attempted to carry on by ourselves but alas, Christmas isn’t Christmas when fifty percent of your family is down for the count. I started my usual lament: “Lord, why, right here at the holidays? Why not the day after? Why us?” It didn’t take long before the Holy Spirit brought my selfish thoughts into submission. I began to think of the people in Newtown, CT. I began to think of my mother-in-law and others who had lost loved ones throughout the year...
Then it dawned on me: the fact that “Santa Claus is coming to town” wasn’t going to make this season any easier for these people but the fact that Jesus entered the world as Savior changes everything, everyday from December 25th on. I had to let go of the tight-fisted grip I had on the Norman Rockwell painting for our holidays. I had to let go of the disappointment and the expectations and just be grateful.
Yes, I am thankful for influenza right at the holidays. Call me crazy but our entire holiday season was turned upside down because of illness and I for one am grateful. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t grateful the first day or even the second day but as Christmas Eve turned into Christmas Day turned into the day after I became increasingly thankful.
However, God tested me on this. I quickly decided that we could celebrate later in the week and that wouldn’t be so bad. We still had a full week’s vacation left and we would enjoy it together as a family...before Kraig got a call that he would have to work every day he had planned to take as vacation. Okay, okay, then there’s New Year’s. We can take those 2 days and rest, celebrate and make the most of it. Oh, but pneumonia wasn’t part of the plan. Yes, Kraig was diagnosed with pneumonia just in time for New Year’s Eve. Well, halle”flu”jah is all I can say!
God continues to challenge me as to whether I will set my sights on the things of this world or on Him. God continues to ask me to place things on the altar that threaten to become idols and sacrifice them. Family, time off, comfort, plans and yes, even Christmas. So, my prayer for 2013 is that I will be not only willing but grateful to lay down all of the things that make this world attractive in order to find all of my fullness in Christ. Truly, I don’t want to gain the whole world at the expense of losing my soul!
“So is the one who stores up treasure for herself and is not rich toward God.” Luke 12:21
Happy New Year!
