Well, one holiday down and one more to go. Is that negative? Usually I am ready for the holidays before school even starts (in August) but this year has been very odd. Just as my son had been abducted by aliens (just for a day and by the way, they brought him back!) and cleaned his room from top to bottom with no prodding from his mother, my husband wants to know what has happened to his wife! When Thanksgiving rolled around and I had no desire to bake, decorate or play Christmas music ad nauseum he knew something was amiss and so did I. I finally managed to get one tree decorated although I was more annoyed than jovial about the whole ordeal! After a few days this really began to bother me because I look forward to time with family and friends and all of the traditions that surround the holidays. I look forward to relishing the Christmas story and pondering what aspect the Lord will show me that is new and fresh to my heart this year. Alas, none of that!
Then, it dawned on me that warfare and attack from our adversary can come in many ways. It says in James 1:2 and 1 Peter 1:6 that our trials are varied. Satan is good at what he does and make no mistake, he knows you and me better than we know ourselves. He knows what works and if the same old thing works every time he is not likely to change his tactics. Being aware of this I have worked hard to gain victory in old areas of defeat. For years I have fallen prey to the same schemes and lies. But, after a while you just get tired of being so predictable!! However, once you gain victory in some areas you tend to get lazy in other areas or you just get prideful. For me it was a little of both. I thought that because I had been successful in some ways that I was invincible. I mean let's face it, there are just some things that don't get to me...do you know what I'm talking about? Anger isn't my thing. Neither is envy. Neither is (fill in the blank). I've dealt with these strongholds so I'm pretty good at this thing, I know what I'm doing! So, so, so very wrong!
I let my guard down and suddenly I'm in it for everything I'm worth. I'm grabbing my sword and trying to regain my footing. I'm struggling to stand firm because I'm angry, I'm envious and I don't love CHRISTMAS for crying out loud!! Let me explain. Just a few months ago I had this rage come over me over everything! I could go from fine to furious in seconds. The rational explanation was hormones. "Hormones and the devil always make me do it," would be a great mantra for me... for most of us. But the problem was I wasn't hormonal! This had gone on for too long to be PMS. Kraig, who is normally very patient and understanding, was growing really tired of living with a time bomb. I even allowed it to spill over onto the kids which will make you feel like a heel in a heartbeat! I hated everyone and everything that included myself! It dawned on me, "This is a heart problem!" My heart is desperately wicked! I had to confess it and stay in the word many times a day to keep laying it down when it reared its head. Thankfully, the Lord was gracious and his word renewed my heart.
Then, no sooner had I gotten through that spell then I was fighting great, green, gigantic episodes of ENVY! Have you ever been envious? It's miserable because you are rarely envious of one thing, it typically spills over to everything! I was even envious that homeless people didn't have to worry about bills and financial obligations (not really but you get the point!) This ran right on the heels of Thanksgiving. Why? Because when you are envious of someone else then you are obviously not THANKFUL for what you have! No surprise there! But, I still had to ask the Lord to heal me and make me grateful. Without him, I'm not, I'm just not and that's the truth! So, once again, I am confessing and bathing my mind in the word and fighting the good fight to stay grateful. You might wonder if I am done...I thought I was too!
Okay, there ought to be some law that Christmas is off limits right? For Pete's sake (I've always wondered who Pete was) it's the most wonderful time of the year right? People, I own three Christmas trees and the only reason I don't own one for every room is because I need money to buy other people presents! So, how did I go from visions of sugar plums to the Grinch? I honestly didn't know myself! Then, out of the blue it hit me - this is warfare and what a brilliant strategy! The crowning of our faith begins at Christmas and the coronation is complete at Easter. If Satan can make us lose our joy over the coming of our King then he is really effective! He had me! No question about it, I had succumb to his tactics. I was busy, I was tired, I was stressed and I was full. So, I struggle to stand up once again and confess and reach for His hand, his Word...
O Lord, help us not to be full on what the world has to offer! Keep us from the busyness of the season that distracts us from the quiet of the manger! Pull our hearts out of the world and back to you. Reach in and fan the flame of excitement over the birth of our Savior, God who became man, that He might sacrifice all and slay sin for all who BELIEVE...
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