Well, one holiday down and one more to go. Is that negative? Usually I am ready for the holidays before school even starts (in August) but this year has been very odd. Just as my son had been abducted by aliens (just for a day and by the way, they brought him back!) and cleaned his room from top to bottom with no prodding from his mother, my husband wants to know what has happened to his wife! When Thanksgiving rolled around and I had no desire to bake, decorate or play Christmas music ad nauseum he knew something was amiss and so did I. I finally managed to get one tree decorated although I was more annoyed than jovial about the whole ordeal! After a few days this really began to bother me because I look forward to time with family and friends and all of the traditions that surround the holidays. I look forward to relishing the Christmas story and pondering what aspect the Lord will show me that is new and fresh to my heart this year. Alas, none of that!
Then, it dawned on me that warfare and attack from our adversary can come in many ways. It says in James 1:2 and 1 Peter 1:6 that our trials are varied. Satan is good at what he does and make no mistake, he knows you and me better than we know ourselves. He knows what works and if the same old thing works every time he is not likely to change his tactics. Being aware of this I have worked hard to gain victory in old areas of defeat. For years I have fallen prey to the same schemes and lies. But, after a while you just get tired of being so predictable!! However, once you gain victory in some areas you tend to get lazy in other areas or you just get prideful. For me it was a little of both. I thought that because I had been successful in some ways that I was invincible. I mean let's face it, there are just some things that don't get to me...do you know what I'm talking about? Anger isn't my thing. Neither is envy. Neither is (fill in the blank). I've dealt with these strongholds so I'm pretty good at this thing, I know what I'm doing! So, so, so very wrong!
I let my guard down and suddenly I'm in it for everything I'm worth. I'm grabbing my sword and trying to regain my footing. I'm struggling to stand firm because I'm angry, I'm envious and I don't love CHRISTMAS for crying out loud!! Let me explain. Just a few months ago I had this rage come over me over everything! I could go from fine to furious in seconds. The rational explanation was hormones. "Hormones and the devil always make me do it," would be a great mantra for me... for most of us. But the problem was I wasn't hormonal! This had gone on for too long to be PMS. Kraig, who is normally very patient and understanding, was growing really tired of living with a time bomb. I even allowed it to spill over onto the kids which will make you feel like a heel in a heartbeat! I hated everyone and everything that included myself! It dawned on me, "This is a heart problem!" My heart is desperately wicked! I had to confess it and stay in the word many times a day to keep laying it down when it reared its head. Thankfully, the Lord was gracious and his word renewed my heart.
Then, no sooner had I gotten through that spell then I was fighting great, green, gigantic episodes of ENVY! Have you ever been envious? It's miserable because you are rarely envious of one thing, it typically spills over to everything! I was even envious that homeless people didn't have to worry about bills and financial obligations (not really but you get the point!) This ran right on the heels of Thanksgiving. Why? Because when you are envious of someone else then you are obviously not THANKFUL for what you have! No surprise there! But, I still had to ask the Lord to heal me and make me grateful. Without him, I'm not, I'm just not and that's the truth! So, once again, I am confessing and bathing my mind in the word and fighting the good fight to stay grateful. You might wonder if I am done...I thought I was too!
Okay, there ought to be some law that Christmas is off limits right? For Pete's sake (I've always wondered who Pete was) it's the most wonderful time of the year right? People, I own three Christmas trees and the only reason I don't own one for every room is because I need money to buy other people presents! So, how did I go from visions of sugar plums to the Grinch? I honestly didn't know myself! Then, out of the blue it hit me - this is warfare and what a brilliant strategy! The crowning of our faith begins at Christmas and the coronation is complete at Easter. If Satan can make us lose our joy over the coming of our King then he is really effective! He had me! No question about it, I had succumb to his tactics. I was busy, I was tired, I was stressed and I was full. So, I struggle to stand up once again and confess and reach for His hand, his Word...
O Lord, help us not to be full on what the world has to offer! Keep us from the busyness of the season that distracts us from the quiet of the manger! Pull our hearts out of the world and back to you. Reach in and fan the flame of excitement over the birth of our Savior, God who became man, that He might sacrifice all and slay sin for all who BELIEVE...
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
Overwhelming Thankfulness
As we move closer to Thanksgiving I have been contemplating how I would reflect on all I was thankful for this year. I like to think I am thankful every day for something but it is always a good exercise for us as believers to take the time that God has given us around the "holiday of thankfulness" to really see where He has blessed in the last year. I am all about reflection! So, today, the Lord had me totally captive because I was cleaning my house - in my pajamas no less. It seems like getting dressed for something so dirty is pointless so, at 4pm today I was still in my p.j.'s and slippers. (I think Kraig was really glad when I took a shower and changed my clothes. He didn't say it but I think he might have been concerned that I would just climb back in the bed tonight wearing the same thing!) Back to captive audience train of thought: He (the Lord) could have taught the entire O.T. to me today as dirty as my house was - a full six hours to get it looking just right - for the next five minutes. (Moms, nod your head like this!) Having a clean house makes me anxiously euphoric (I know, oxymoron). Euphoric because I heart a clean house but anxious because now I have to be diligent to go behind every body to keep it clean. Thankfully, husband and children are not at slovenly level of living but indeed one step above :)
As I am cleaning I like to listen to podcasts of sermons. (I know I am a freak but that's not news to anyone.) Honestly, it is a good way of learning the Bible and it keeps my mind renewed besides, I enjoy it. So, today I downloaded a series on thankfulness by Allistair Begg (Kraig would prefer that I say he downloaded them for me since I am electronically challenged. Thanks honey!). If you have never heard of Begg before, or even if you have, you can find him at truthforlife.org. He's one of my favorites! In his first sermon on thankfulness he addressed OVERWHELMING thankfulness related to the woman with the alabaster flask.
The sermon began however, talking about two types of thankfulness: natural gratitude and gracious gratitude. Natural gratitude would be the gratitude that we feel from all of the material blessings and benefits from God. This gratitude can be felt by anyone, not just believers because all people experience God's common grace. For example, you don't have to be a believer in order to have food on the table, children or a roof over your head. The second type, gracious gratitude, begins with God, not us or our "things". This gratitude is felt specifically by believers and praises God as the One who is the "giver of all". For example, you thank God for His grace in sending Jesus as our Savior who provides us access to His throne or grants us an advocate with the Father. The point? All of the benefits that we experience as believers come only through Jesus. When He says that He is "the way, the truth and the life, living water, bread of life, the resurrection and the life" He is! (Notice all the references to life?) He is all that we as believers have to be thankful for! He secures it all for us. All grace, all truth, all mercy, all forgiveness, all life, all(fill in the blank). You see, without Jesus, we can experience all of the common graces of life but none of the saving grace. I want the saving grace and I am overwhelming thankful for it! Praise Him!
As Begg ended the sermon he stated that the woman with the alabaster flask offered an overwhelming gift (remember it was worth one year's wage) with overwhelming thankfulness because of overwhelming grace. I had to ask myself, "When was the last time you were overwhelming thankful because of overwhelming grace....and when was the last time you gave an overwhelming gift out of that?" Never. I am challenged anew to spend the next week being focused on the overwhelming gift of God's grace in Jesus for me and contemplating how and what I might give that would be overwhelming, overwhelming in thankfulness.
As I am cleaning I like to listen to podcasts of sermons. (I know I am a freak but that's not news to anyone.) Honestly, it is a good way of learning the Bible and it keeps my mind renewed besides, I enjoy it. So, today I downloaded a series on thankfulness by Allistair Begg (Kraig would prefer that I say he downloaded them for me since I am electronically challenged. Thanks honey!). If you have never heard of Begg before, or even if you have, you can find him at truthforlife.org. He's one of my favorites! In his first sermon on thankfulness he addressed OVERWHELMING thankfulness related to the woman with the alabaster flask.
The sermon began however, talking about two types of thankfulness: natural gratitude and gracious gratitude. Natural gratitude would be the gratitude that we feel from all of the material blessings and benefits from God. This gratitude can be felt by anyone, not just believers because all people experience God's common grace. For example, you don't have to be a believer in order to have food on the table, children or a roof over your head. The second type, gracious gratitude, begins with God, not us or our "things". This gratitude is felt specifically by believers and praises God as the One who is the "giver of all". For example, you thank God for His grace in sending Jesus as our Savior who provides us access to His throne or grants us an advocate with the Father. The point? All of the benefits that we experience as believers come only through Jesus. When He says that He is "the way, the truth and the life, living water, bread of life, the resurrection and the life" He is! (Notice all the references to life?) He is all that we as believers have to be thankful for! He secures it all for us. All grace, all truth, all mercy, all forgiveness, all life, all(fill in the blank). You see, without Jesus, we can experience all of the common graces of life but none of the saving grace. I want the saving grace and I am overwhelming thankful for it! Praise Him!
As Begg ended the sermon he stated that the woman with the alabaster flask offered an overwhelming gift (remember it was worth one year's wage) with overwhelming thankfulness because of overwhelming grace. I had to ask myself, "When was the last time you were overwhelming thankful because of overwhelming grace....and when was the last time you gave an overwhelming gift out of that?" Never. I am challenged anew to spend the next week being focused on the overwhelming gift of God's grace in Jesus for me and contemplating how and what I might give that would be overwhelming, overwhelming in thankfulness.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Live on Purpose...That's all I've got to say!
It's Sunday afternoon, arguably my most favorite time in the week, the kids are being too quiet in their rooms, Kraig is taking a nap and I am sitting by the fireplace in total silence! It almost seems too good to be true and if I were the one taking the nap it might be! It is amazing what Satan will use to try and get you worked up.
Brief Explanation: We have a Thanksgiving dinner at church this afternoon and so, being the designated Betty Crocker of the family (we have a Betty Crocker instead of an Emeril Lagasse, daggone it!) I am responsible for the "covered dishes" we have to bring for our family thus excluding me from a nap. (Side note: What is the origin of the "covered dish" and is there truly anything better that Baptists have come up with to this day?) Anyway, there is nothing worse than being half-way to la-la land when the kitchen timer goes off. With that said, I am envious of my snoring husband while I wait for the oven to pre-heat! However, I am CHOOSING not to make too much noise by accidentally dropping the pan on the floor, turning the blender on turbo or setting off the smoke alarm. This is my definition of an EXCELLENT WIFE :)!!!
I just love how the Lord can inspire with a wonderful illustration to bring me to my case in point: CHOICE or as I like to say, "Intentional or being purposeful." A few weeks ago the Pastor of Grace Church, Mark Fesmire, came and provided the staff at the pregnancy center with a devotional based on the acrostic V.I.M.: vision, intention, means. Since then I have been nearly addicted to the word intention or more specifically intentional. My husband would say that I use this word more than is necessary when talking about everything from peanut butter to makeup (and believe me you have to be intentional with both - but never at the same time - except maybe if you are eating breakfast while doing your makeup - which, by the way, happens in my bathroom alot!) I digress. But the reality is that we have to be intentional in EVERYTHING we do in life in order to glorify and please Him. We live on purpose when we choose and when we choose NOT to choose. Does that make sense?
Something will guide our lives. Either the flesh, leading to death or the Spirit leading to life. But make no mistake, if I am not living in the Spirit then I am living in the flesh. There is no third alternative. I can usually spot when I am living in the flesh because I am highly reactionary and emotional and not in a positive way! When I am living in the Spirit I am thinking and choosing deliberately. Like right now, I am choosing to not allow the jealousy that I feel towards my husband to create a wedge between us. To many women that may sound silly but I have driven a wedge over far less than a nap at times. Anyone else?
I think what I am learning is that everything in the Christian life that keeps us moving forward in sanctification is done with an attitude of intentional perseverance like running a race. Anytime you run for any distance over a few miles there comes a point when you have to push through the desire to stop. My walk is much the same way. It is easier to be reactionary and not to have to choose on purpose but then I suffer consequences later.
So, where am I going with all of this? I am trying to stop for five seconds and ask myself "Does this glorify the Lord?" If I can say, "Yes" then I proceed. If I can't, then I don't. I am trying to be intentional about what I let come out of my mouth, what I let into my mind and what I think on. I am trying to be keenly aware of how my actions, through word and deed, affect other people. Does it show Christ to them? Does it not? Is this helpful or hurtful? Is this moving me toward Jesus or away from Him. I've been working on this for the last three weeks or so. It was hard at first because I was just coming out of a season where the flesh was reigning in all it's ugliness! It was almost like I was having to retrain myself how to think, in fact, it was that very thing! Renewing my mind by the word of God. After three weeks, it has gotten easier because my Spirit is getting stronger. I am more circumspect of the enemy and his attacks lest I fall to temptations which are led away by my own desire, give birth to sin and when it is full grown produces death (James 1:15).
I want to share this so much because it has helped my marriage (case in point - Sun. afternoon nap!), guided me in keeping my mouth shut in a few social situations (miracle of all miracles!) and all around taught me in applying the Word to my life. Isn't this wisdom? Oh my gosh! Answered prayer! It is no coincidence that I am studying Proverbs and learning about living skillfully! Thank you Lord for wisdom that has been earnestly prayed for! Keep me humble in this discovery because You alone are wise and all wisdom comes from You! And...thank you for keeping me from kicking my husband off the couch in the middle of his nap!
Brief Explanation: We have a Thanksgiving dinner at church this afternoon and so, being the designated Betty Crocker of the family (we have a Betty Crocker instead of an Emeril Lagasse, daggone it!) I am responsible for the "covered dishes" we have to bring for our family thus excluding me from a nap. (Side note: What is the origin of the "covered dish" and is there truly anything better that Baptists have come up with to this day?) Anyway, there is nothing worse than being half-way to la-la land when the kitchen timer goes off. With that said, I am envious of my snoring husband while I wait for the oven to pre-heat! However, I am CHOOSING not to make too much noise by accidentally dropping the pan on the floor, turning the blender on turbo or setting off the smoke alarm. This is my definition of an EXCELLENT WIFE :)!!!
I just love how the Lord can inspire with a wonderful illustration to bring me to my case in point: CHOICE or as I like to say, "Intentional or being purposeful." A few weeks ago the Pastor of Grace Church, Mark Fesmire, came and provided the staff at the pregnancy center with a devotional based on the acrostic V.I.M.: vision, intention, means. Since then I have been nearly addicted to the word intention or more specifically intentional. My husband would say that I use this word more than is necessary when talking about everything from peanut butter to makeup (and believe me you have to be intentional with both - but never at the same time - except maybe if you are eating breakfast while doing your makeup - which, by the way, happens in my bathroom alot!) I digress. But the reality is that we have to be intentional in EVERYTHING we do in life in order to glorify and please Him. We live on purpose when we choose and when we choose NOT to choose. Does that make sense?
Something will guide our lives. Either the flesh, leading to death or the Spirit leading to life. But make no mistake, if I am not living in the Spirit then I am living in the flesh. There is no third alternative. I can usually spot when I am living in the flesh because I am highly reactionary and emotional and not in a positive way! When I am living in the Spirit I am thinking and choosing deliberately. Like right now, I am choosing to not allow the jealousy that I feel towards my husband to create a wedge between us. To many women that may sound silly but I have driven a wedge over far less than a nap at times. Anyone else?
I think what I am learning is that everything in the Christian life that keeps us moving forward in sanctification is done with an attitude of intentional perseverance like running a race. Anytime you run for any distance over a few miles there comes a point when you have to push through the desire to stop. My walk is much the same way. It is easier to be reactionary and not to have to choose on purpose but then I suffer consequences later.
So, where am I going with all of this? I am trying to stop for five seconds and ask myself "Does this glorify the Lord?" If I can say, "Yes" then I proceed. If I can't, then I don't. I am trying to be intentional about what I let come out of my mouth, what I let into my mind and what I think on. I am trying to be keenly aware of how my actions, through word and deed, affect other people. Does it show Christ to them? Does it not? Is this helpful or hurtful? Is this moving me toward Jesus or away from Him. I've been working on this for the last three weeks or so. It was hard at first because I was just coming out of a season where the flesh was reigning in all it's ugliness! It was almost like I was having to retrain myself how to think, in fact, it was that very thing! Renewing my mind by the word of God. After three weeks, it has gotten easier because my Spirit is getting stronger. I am more circumspect of the enemy and his attacks lest I fall to temptations which are led away by my own desire, give birth to sin and when it is full grown produces death (James 1:15).
I want to share this so much because it has helped my marriage (case in point - Sun. afternoon nap!), guided me in keeping my mouth shut in a few social situations (miracle of all miracles!) and all around taught me in applying the Word to my life. Isn't this wisdom? Oh my gosh! Answered prayer! It is no coincidence that I am studying Proverbs and learning about living skillfully! Thank you Lord for wisdom that has been earnestly prayed for! Keep me humble in this discovery because You alone are wise and all wisdom comes from You! And...thank you for keeping me from kicking my husband off the couch in the middle of his nap!
Friday, November 12, 2010
It's the Most Wonderful Time...
This song has forever been attributed in my mind (thanks to modern day marketing) not to Christmas but to "back to school". Have you seen that Staples commercial of the Dad wheeling around on the shopping cart throwing in school supplies as his children with long faces drag behind him? Only a parent who has endured a long summer cooped up with school age kids could appreciate the play on words! With that said, the song originally was intended to reference the joy of the holidays. For me, the most wonderful time of the year is autumn. The smell in the air, the varied color palette and the anticipation of the Holidays! I give pause every year to think that even the dying off of the summer season is beautiful. Our God makes all things beautiful in its time!
Looking back on the number of posts from the last year I realize that my writing opportunities have been few and far between over the summer months. I fully anticipated this once wedding season began but thanks be to God for His unspeakable gift - wedding season is OVER!! Don't get me wrong, I love weddings but after 36 weekends of petal pink taffeta bridesmaid dresses in "blush" and "bashful" I am ready to spend some time at home! Creatively speaking, I should be able to contribute far more to my favorite past time here at said blog. I have stated many times before that I have things that roll around in my head for weeks before I get around to writing them down. Sometimes they even fall out, oh cruel fate of aging brain!!
Marriage and family has been an increasing burden as is evident by my most recent series of posts on courtship. Being in crisis pregnancy center ministry we see the direct results of the breakdown of the home. This is Satan's most effective weapon in his arsenal because the ripple effect of a divorce is immeasurable! Not only are the husband and wife scarred but extended families, children, marriages of children, marriages of grandchildren, churches, neighborhoods, friendships and most importantly the glory of God is obscured. One thing that the Lord is teaching me is that God loves marriage because he loves faithfulness and nothing shows faithfulness like the relationship between Christ and the church (which is what our marriages are to mirror). How far above our own concepts of the marriage covenant, how far above societies portrayal, how much higher are his ways than our ways?
In times of tribulation in our marriages this allows us to back away from the intimate hurt to the greater over-arching purpose of why God created us as man and woman. This draws me away from the present sting of an emotional separation with Kraig to the glorious perspective of my joy in showing Christ to an unbelieving world. I can rest peacefully knowing that even this is for my sanctification. I was counseling a young wife the other day and I said to her, "Marriage is for our sanctification. I have learned how to bear the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, patience and self-control, patience and self-control and some patience and self-control...through my marriage. I have learned wisdom and submission and forgiveness and forbearance through my marriage. And I am the better for it!
Which brings me to this conclusion: God knows what He is doing whether we admit it or not. His plan ALWAYS proves best and we cannot improve on His perfection. Try as we may to pass off what is prevalent for what is permissive we cannot give ourselves any better than His way. So today, thank you Lord Jesus for marriage which is your design and your doing! Thank you for making us male and female, husband and wife, one flesh. Thank you for the blessings that bring us joy and for the adversities that bring us much needed sanctification. Thank you for being the perfect example of faithfulness to a sinful people who wouldn't know faithfulness without you! Keep us faithful in our marriages, always forgiving and forbearing, as Christ loves the church for your glory and great Name. Amen and amen.
Looking back on the number of posts from the last year I realize that my writing opportunities have been few and far between over the summer months. I fully anticipated this once wedding season began but thanks be to God for His unspeakable gift - wedding season is OVER!! Don't get me wrong, I love weddings but after 36 weekends of petal pink taffeta bridesmaid dresses in "blush" and "bashful" I am ready to spend some time at home! Creatively speaking, I should be able to contribute far more to my favorite past time here at said blog. I have stated many times before that I have things that roll around in my head for weeks before I get around to writing them down. Sometimes they even fall out, oh cruel fate of aging brain!!
Marriage and family has been an increasing burden as is evident by my most recent series of posts on courtship. Being in crisis pregnancy center ministry we see the direct results of the breakdown of the home. This is Satan's most effective weapon in his arsenal because the ripple effect of a divorce is immeasurable! Not only are the husband and wife scarred but extended families, children, marriages of children, marriages of grandchildren, churches, neighborhoods, friendships and most importantly the glory of God is obscured. One thing that the Lord is teaching me is that God loves marriage because he loves faithfulness and nothing shows faithfulness like the relationship between Christ and the church (which is what our marriages are to mirror). How far above our own concepts of the marriage covenant, how far above societies portrayal, how much higher are his ways than our ways?
In times of tribulation in our marriages this allows us to back away from the intimate hurt to the greater over-arching purpose of why God created us as man and woman. This draws me away from the present sting of an emotional separation with Kraig to the glorious perspective of my joy in showing Christ to an unbelieving world. I can rest peacefully knowing that even this is for my sanctification. I was counseling a young wife the other day and I said to her, "Marriage is for our sanctification. I have learned how to bear the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, patience and self-control, patience and self-control and some patience and self-control...through my marriage. I have learned wisdom and submission and forgiveness and forbearance through my marriage. And I am the better for it!
Which brings me to this conclusion: God knows what He is doing whether we admit it or not. His plan ALWAYS proves best and we cannot improve on His perfection. Try as we may to pass off what is prevalent for what is permissive we cannot give ourselves any better than His way. So today, thank you Lord Jesus for marriage which is your design and your doing! Thank you for making us male and female, husband and wife, one flesh. Thank you for the blessings that bring us joy and for the adversities that bring us much needed sanctification. Thank you for being the perfect example of faithfulness to a sinful people who wouldn't know faithfulness without you! Keep us faithful in our marriages, always forgiving and forbearing, as Christ loves the church for your glory and great Name. Amen and amen.
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