Are you sore yet? I am! I’ve had so many toes stepped on I’m limping! Not only that but I have felt the Holy Spirit poking at some things I have kept locked away that I deliberately didn’t want to deal with. As much as I have tried to ignore it, He presses in all the more! But you know, I’m learning so much and I’m feeling the flood gates begin to open a little wider each time I relinquish control over my hurts. I hope the same is happening for you. I don’t pretend to know what each of you has faced. I know if we could talk that I would probably clasp my hand over my mouth in disbelief at what some of you have endured. But Beloved, I don’t need to know because Jesus does! He knows, He sees and He is big enough to overcome anything that you have experienced.
Yesterday we covered a lot of ground in our study of the parable of the unjust servant. We began to get a glimpse of the enormity of God’s work on the cross in forgiving our sins. I used to sing a song as a little girl that summed up the simplicity of the gospel:
“He paid a debt He did not owe,
I owed a debt I could not pay. I needed someone to wash my sins away. And now I sing a brand new song ‘Amazing Grace’!
My Jesus paid a debt that I could not repay! Selah!
It really is that simple and that complex all at the same time. When we look at the work that Jesus accomplished in atoning for our sins at Calvary and then choose not to forgive others we are like the wicked servant. At the outset of this study I touched briefly on the world vs. the word. In this parable the servant is our example of how the world handles forgiveness and the King is our example of God’s forgiveness of us.
I am continually amazed how much our lives are shaped with situational ethics, meaning we change our ethics, morals and decisions as the situation changes. Scripture is never situational about anything, especially forgiveness. Therefore, we are called to apply the truth of the Word over the ever-changing “ethics” of the world.
We are commanded to forgive. We aren’t asked, we aren’t advised and we aren’t given the choice. We are told to forgive. Why? Because forgiveness is the basis for the gospel. If there were no sin then forgiveness would not be necessary but scripture says that if our offenses were counted against us, who could stand? Our sins against the Lord are great but the Lord freely offers forgiveness every time for every sin. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).
The rest of our study will focus on five aspects of forgiveness: The Basis of forgiveness, the Bitterness of unforgiveness, the Basics of forgiveness, the Blessing of forgiveness and the Benefit of forgiveness. We will begin to look at the first one next week: the basis for forgiveness, the gospel. Why is it that we are commanded to forgive? Why is it that forgiveness is unconditional? What and who do we look to in understanding how to forgive?
Meditate on these things as you begin the ascent into Passion Week. Reflect on the cross and the costly forgiveness that was bought for you with the blood of the spotless Lamb of God…and worship!
Friday, March 30, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Forgiveness: Day Three
Finally! After three long days of laying some very necessary groundwork we have arrived at our focal text. You have worked really hard to this point but don’t give up right before you get to the good stuff! Let’s quickly jump in because there is quite a bit to cover today.
Please read Matthew 18:21-35
This passage of scripture is best known as “The Parable of the Unjust Servant.” Although there are many passages on forgiveness in scripture this paints such a vivid picture of how we appear when we choose not to forgive others. The foundation for the parable is laid by the impetuous apostle Peter. We can always count on Peter to ask those things that all of us are thinking! So Peter starts us off by asking the question that “everyone wanted to know but was afraid to ask”: “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him?” Basically, Peter wants to cut to the chase and get straight to the point. He has listened to Jesus teach about humility, checking our own hearts to rid them of stumbling blocks and then restoration of our brothers and sisters who have sinned but what he really wants to know is, “How many times am I required to forgive, forbear and restore until I’ve met my quota?”
Peter’s offer of seven times was seemingly magnanimous because back in the 1st century the rabbis taught, based on several scriptures out of Amos 1, that God only forgave Israel’s enemies 3 times. Therefore, to forgive more than 3 times was unnecessary and presumptuous. Peter had doubled the requirement and added one so he probably expected a pat on the back. However, as Jesus always does, He cuts right across our high-mindedness and exposes the intents of our hearts by setting the standard far above anything we could ever imagine…or attain without Him.
Jesus’ reply of seventy times seven is not to give us a set number of 490 as the exact number of times we should forgive but it represents an innumerable number. Jesus has not instituted a system of Pharisaical tally marks but a system of grace where His glory in forgiveness is put on display.
Upon excavation of the following verses we unearth a great deal of truth regarding the heart of our God. We first need to establish the absurdity of this parable. The disciples would have recognized right off that this parable was extremely far-fetched. First, a king would never have gotten himself into a situation where he would need to settle debts with his slaves especially where he was owed as much or more than he owned.
In v. 24 we see how much this one servant owed him: 10,000 talents. Let’s put this into perspective: one talent was worth what a laborer would make over 15 years. If we say that the average yearly wage of a laborer today is 25,000, 15 years would amount to $375,000. Ten talents would be 3.75 million dollars. The conclusion: 10,000 talents was an exorbitant amount of money. This would be like our President allowing one person to borrow trillions of dollars against our national debt! Again, no king would have put himself in that kind of financial predicament.
So, it isn’t hard to understand when verse 25 says,”he couldn’t repay.” The lord (representative of the king) comes up with the idea of having the slave and all his family sold into slavery in order to recover some of the debt. Does this strike anyone else as ridiculous? The reality is there is no way this debt could be paid. If this man, his wife, children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren worked all their lives there would be no way to repay the debt.
The slave’s response was to fall on his face and ask for patience in trying to repay the debt – notice that the slave did not ask for forgiveness! However, the lord felt compassion, released him AND forgave the debt. This is total forgiveness. He could have released him but not forgiven the debt. He could have forgiven the debt but not released him. Instead scripture says he felt compassion. This word “compassion” means: “bowels of mercy”, “womb”, “to be moved as to one’s inwards”. The word here talks about a visceral, deep seated response to something. A pity that is felt. The lord was so moved by the servant that he had an ache within him. Have you ever seen someone in distress and physically felt compassion for them? This is the idea here: a sensitivity that only a mother could feel for her children; a mother’s love.
You would expect that the servant would have been so overjoyed he could think of nothing else! He had basically just won the lottery! He was free! But instead he goes out and finds a man that owes him the equivalent of 3 months wages and he does what? He seizes him and begins to choke him while demanding his money! Do you see the extreme analogy here? His response toward his fellow servant is so severe. The slave’s response is almost the same as the original plea to the king: he fell to the ground and pleaded with him, asked him to be patient that he would repay all he owed. This was a debt that could easily have been paid back. This offense was nothing compared to the great offense of the original debt.
But the slave who has just been pardoned was “unwilling” and threw him in prison. His fellow slaves were so grieved over this scene that they reported it all to the lord. What does the lord call him? You “wicked” slave! So, the lord was “moved with anger”. Scripture tells us that God hates sin. Because He is holy and just He is always angry over sin, including the sin of His children.
It says verse 34 that the lord handed him over to torturers. The word “torturers” does not mean executioners but it does indicate severe discipline. As true children of God we can never lose our salvation because our salvation is dependent upon God. Scripture says, “I am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed unto Him against that day.” However, we can fall into discipline over disobedience. The Lord commands us to forgive and just because we are His children doesn’t mean He is okay with sin in our lives. The idea here is that the unjust servant would remain under the discipline of the Lord until he could learn to forgive others.
The last verse sums up Jesus’ teaching on forgiveness: God will also do the same to you if you do not forgive your brother what? From your heart. This indicates a genuine forgiveness. Not lip service but genuine forgiveness.
You know, sometimes we think withholding forgiveness keeps us safe but there is no “safety” in the Christian life. God is constantly calling us to do the hard thing, pushing us to the point of weakness that we might rely on the Spirit within us, denying the flesh and our selfish desires for comfort. The Christian life will never be one of comfort, ease or safety…Jesus did not live that kind of life and we should not expect more for ourselves. Jesus is constantly calling us to take up our cross, deny self and follow Him.
Repeatedly we will be faced with decisions that don’t feel good to us and we must make a decision for obedience or disobedience. This comes down to our trust in the Lord. Do we trust that when He commands us to forgive that it will be for our good? Do we trust that His word is true and that He is able to empower us to follow through with what He has commanded us to do?
In closing today, I want to ask you this question: How big is your God? Is He big enough to handle the offenses against you? Is He big enough to enable you to forgive even the deepest hurts? Is He big enough to bring healing where a root of bitterness has grown? Can He do what He says He can do? Do you believe it? Can you receive it?
Please read Matthew 18:21-35
This passage of scripture is best known as “The Parable of the Unjust Servant.” Although there are many passages on forgiveness in scripture this paints such a vivid picture of how we appear when we choose not to forgive others. The foundation for the parable is laid by the impetuous apostle Peter. We can always count on Peter to ask those things that all of us are thinking! So Peter starts us off by asking the question that “everyone wanted to know but was afraid to ask”: “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him?” Basically, Peter wants to cut to the chase and get straight to the point. He has listened to Jesus teach about humility, checking our own hearts to rid them of stumbling blocks and then restoration of our brothers and sisters who have sinned but what he really wants to know is, “How many times am I required to forgive, forbear and restore until I’ve met my quota?”
Peter’s offer of seven times was seemingly magnanimous because back in the 1st century the rabbis taught, based on several scriptures out of Amos 1, that God only forgave Israel’s enemies 3 times. Therefore, to forgive more than 3 times was unnecessary and presumptuous. Peter had doubled the requirement and added one so he probably expected a pat on the back. However, as Jesus always does, He cuts right across our high-mindedness and exposes the intents of our hearts by setting the standard far above anything we could ever imagine…or attain without Him.
Jesus’ reply of seventy times seven is not to give us a set number of 490 as the exact number of times we should forgive but it represents an innumerable number. Jesus has not instituted a system of Pharisaical tally marks but a system of grace where His glory in forgiveness is put on display.
Upon excavation of the following verses we unearth a great deal of truth regarding the heart of our God. We first need to establish the absurdity of this parable. The disciples would have recognized right off that this parable was extremely far-fetched. First, a king would never have gotten himself into a situation where he would need to settle debts with his slaves especially where he was owed as much or more than he owned.
In v. 24 we see how much this one servant owed him: 10,000 talents. Let’s put this into perspective: one talent was worth what a laborer would make over 15 years. If we say that the average yearly wage of a laborer today is 25,000, 15 years would amount to $375,000. Ten talents would be 3.75 million dollars. The conclusion: 10,000 talents was an exorbitant amount of money. This would be like our President allowing one person to borrow trillions of dollars against our national debt! Again, no king would have put himself in that kind of financial predicament.
So, it isn’t hard to understand when verse 25 says,”he couldn’t repay.” The lord (representative of the king) comes up with the idea of having the slave and all his family sold into slavery in order to recover some of the debt. Does this strike anyone else as ridiculous? The reality is there is no way this debt could be paid. If this man, his wife, children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren worked all their lives there would be no way to repay the debt.
The slave’s response was to fall on his face and ask for patience in trying to repay the debt – notice that the slave did not ask for forgiveness! However, the lord felt compassion, released him AND forgave the debt. This is total forgiveness. He could have released him but not forgiven the debt. He could have forgiven the debt but not released him. Instead scripture says he felt compassion. This word “compassion” means: “bowels of mercy”, “womb”, “to be moved as to one’s inwards”. The word here talks about a visceral, deep seated response to something. A pity that is felt. The lord was so moved by the servant that he had an ache within him. Have you ever seen someone in distress and physically felt compassion for them? This is the idea here: a sensitivity that only a mother could feel for her children; a mother’s love.
You would expect that the servant would have been so overjoyed he could think of nothing else! He had basically just won the lottery! He was free! But instead he goes out and finds a man that owes him the equivalent of 3 months wages and he does what? He seizes him and begins to choke him while demanding his money! Do you see the extreme analogy here? His response toward his fellow servant is so severe. The slave’s response is almost the same as the original plea to the king: he fell to the ground and pleaded with him, asked him to be patient that he would repay all he owed. This was a debt that could easily have been paid back. This offense was nothing compared to the great offense of the original debt.
But the slave who has just been pardoned was “unwilling” and threw him in prison. His fellow slaves were so grieved over this scene that they reported it all to the lord. What does the lord call him? You “wicked” slave! So, the lord was “moved with anger”. Scripture tells us that God hates sin. Because He is holy and just He is always angry over sin, including the sin of His children.
It says verse 34 that the lord handed him over to torturers. The word “torturers” does not mean executioners but it does indicate severe discipline. As true children of God we can never lose our salvation because our salvation is dependent upon God. Scripture says, “I am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed unto Him against that day.” However, we can fall into discipline over disobedience. The Lord commands us to forgive and just because we are His children doesn’t mean He is okay with sin in our lives. The idea here is that the unjust servant would remain under the discipline of the Lord until he could learn to forgive others.
The last verse sums up Jesus’ teaching on forgiveness: God will also do the same to you if you do not forgive your brother what? From your heart. This indicates a genuine forgiveness. Not lip service but genuine forgiveness.
You know, sometimes we think withholding forgiveness keeps us safe but there is no “safety” in the Christian life. God is constantly calling us to do the hard thing, pushing us to the point of weakness that we might rely on the Spirit within us, denying the flesh and our selfish desires for comfort. The Christian life will never be one of comfort, ease or safety…Jesus did not live that kind of life and we should not expect more for ourselves. Jesus is constantly calling us to take up our cross, deny self and follow Him.
Repeatedly we will be faced with decisions that don’t feel good to us and we must make a decision for obedience or disobedience. This comes down to our trust in the Lord. Do we trust that when He commands us to forgive that it will be for our good? Do we trust that His word is true and that He is able to empower us to follow through with what He has commanded us to do?
In closing today, I want to ask you this question: How big is your God? Is He big enough to handle the offenses against you? Is He big enough to enable you to forgive even the deepest hurts? Is He big enough to bring healing where a root of bitterness has grown? Can He do what He says He can do? Do you believe it? Can you receive it?
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Choosing Forgiveness: Day Two
Yesterday we closed with a strong petition to go after those who would fall into deceptions and ultimately stray from the flock of God. I hope that those words had as much impact on you as they did on me. I am constantly reminded that so much of my responsibility is to my sisters and brothers in Christ as joint heirs and fellow sojourners. When we begin to grasp this form of denying self we begin to catch a glimpse of what Jesus is teaching about forgiveness!
Let’s recap: Jesus begins his teaching to the disciples in Matthew 18 with instructions on humility, then He warns us about deceptions and/or stumbling blocks which flows into the parable of the lost sheep. This parable instructs us on what to do when one is deceived and goes astray.
There is a pattern developing here that we can use for practical application in our own lives. The first step in forgiveness is humility. Humility is not a means of being weak. Sometimes we think the word humble means “less than.” In reality humility is lowly MINDEDNESS. This happens when we begin to think of ourselves as lowly, less important than others, putting others and their needs first. Where else have we seen this train of thought? Do you remember how we closed yesterday and opened today? Denying self? Do you see how the word of God is so tightly knit that it is constantly reaffirming itself over and over again! I just love those light bulb moments!!
Humility is also a state of mind where we are completely dependent on Jesus to care for us (as in the case of the little child) so that we are freed to put others first. Scripture tells us to “humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God.” Notice that this is an imperative statement. In other words, this isn’t optional or something that is done supernaturally. This is something we are commanded to do; to humble ourselves. When we come to a point where we are so confident that Jesus has and will meet all of our needs then we are freed up to focus on others. This ladies, is Humility 101!
The second step in forgiveness is checking our own hearts. Jesus gives a warning about deceptions but He also gives a strong warning to those who would be deceivers and thereby cause others to stumble. He wraps up by instructing us how to handle those things in our lives that cause us to stumble. The point? We have to be careful in dealing with sin. Sin is not something that we flippantly overlook in our own lives or in the lives of others. When we are preparing ourselves to approach someone about sin in their lives scripture says, “take heed lest you fall.” It is so easy when we are in a situation where we have been wronged not to “wrong back”. We must take inventory of our own lives and motives before we can begin to confront someone else.
The third step in forgiveness is restoration or reconciliation. Ladies, the goal of forgiveness is always restoration. It is the reason that Jesus forgives us – so that He might restore fellowship between sinners and Himself. Is there something there that would give you pleasure in confronting someone who has offended you or offended others? Is there pleasure in being the one who corrects and “sticks it to them?” Then you are not the one who should go! There should be no delight in showing another his offense. We should always check our motives when confronting others about sin.
You know, this is something that we are not very good at as women. Often times we go totally against scripture when it comes to confronting sin and forgiving others, especially if it is personal. Of course, we have a tendency to take a lot of things personally even if they don’t necessarily involve us…another word for this would be MEDDLING! I have seen it happen more than once in my own life. Someone hurts me and I run straight to the phone – to call someone else. We find great comfort in numbers. We want the affirmation of others to commiserate with us and egg us on in our anger.
Or, we are the eager confidant who is there with a listening ear only too willing to add fuel to the fire. Sometimes we even take things on as our own hurt and attempt to “settle a score” that had nothing to do with us to begin with. Is anyone tracking with me here or is it just me? I have seen whole groups of people gang up on one person because of a serious amount of gossip and hearts that were bent on retaliation not restoration! Mmmmm, I sense a spankin’ comin’ on! There are just some things that we will get a spanking over and I can promise you that God doesn’t waste His divine spankings!! Word to the wise: “The heart of the righteous PONDERS how to answer but the mouth of the wicked POURS out evil things” (Proverbs 15:28).
As we wrap up our groundwork in chapter 18, Jesus begins to describe the actual process of confronting one who has offended us, or as the text says, has “sinned”. Verses 15-20 provide a process to be followed for individual forgiveness and for church discipline – we aren’t going into detail here because this isn’t the focal point of the lesson but I do want to point a few things out:
In verse 15 the sister goes to the one who has hurt her, “privately.” This is a good one girls! As we just discussed, we are of a talkative, pack mentality. As soon as we are hurt the very first thing we want to do is tell someone about it so they can agree with us. We assume there is strength and justification in numbers. But scripture is clear that we are not to tell anyone. In other words, this isn’t meant to be a public spectacle. When we are convicted by the Holy Spirit it occurs in the
privacy of our own hearts. Shaming someone is never at the heart of restoration.
The rest of this passage deals with handling a member of the body of Christ who is engaged in sin in order to restore them to fellowship with the Lord and fellowship with the body. However, we see clearly here that sometimes restoration does not always take place. The focus here is on our motive and method. We are responsible for how we approach sin, the offender and the forgiveness. However, we cannot control how the other party will react. This is why it is so important for us to make sure we are doing all we can to be humble, check our own hearts and go in a spirit of restoration!
Let’s recap: Jesus begins his teaching to the disciples in Matthew 18 with instructions on humility, then He warns us about deceptions and/or stumbling blocks which flows into the parable of the lost sheep. This parable instructs us on what to do when one is deceived and goes astray.
There is a pattern developing here that we can use for practical application in our own lives. The first step in forgiveness is humility. Humility is not a means of being weak. Sometimes we think the word humble means “less than.” In reality humility is lowly MINDEDNESS. This happens when we begin to think of ourselves as lowly, less important than others, putting others and their needs first. Where else have we seen this train of thought? Do you remember how we closed yesterday and opened today? Denying self? Do you see how the word of God is so tightly knit that it is constantly reaffirming itself over and over again! I just love those light bulb moments!!
Humility is also a state of mind where we are completely dependent on Jesus to care for us (as in the case of the little child) so that we are freed to put others first. Scripture tells us to “humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God.” Notice that this is an imperative statement. In other words, this isn’t optional or something that is done supernaturally. This is something we are commanded to do; to humble ourselves. When we come to a point where we are so confident that Jesus has and will meet all of our needs then we are freed up to focus on others. This ladies, is Humility 101!
The second step in forgiveness is checking our own hearts. Jesus gives a warning about deceptions but He also gives a strong warning to those who would be deceivers and thereby cause others to stumble. He wraps up by instructing us how to handle those things in our lives that cause us to stumble. The point? We have to be careful in dealing with sin. Sin is not something that we flippantly overlook in our own lives or in the lives of others. When we are preparing ourselves to approach someone about sin in their lives scripture says, “take heed lest you fall.” It is so easy when we are in a situation where we have been wronged not to “wrong back”. We must take inventory of our own lives and motives before we can begin to confront someone else.
The third step in forgiveness is restoration or reconciliation. Ladies, the goal of forgiveness is always restoration. It is the reason that Jesus forgives us – so that He might restore fellowship between sinners and Himself. Is there something there that would give you pleasure in confronting someone who has offended you or offended others? Is there pleasure in being the one who corrects and “sticks it to them?” Then you are not the one who should go! There should be no delight in showing another his offense. We should always check our motives when confronting others about sin.
You know, this is something that we are not very good at as women. Often times we go totally against scripture when it comes to confronting sin and forgiving others, especially if it is personal. Of course, we have a tendency to take a lot of things personally even if they don’t necessarily involve us…another word for this would be MEDDLING! I have seen it happen more than once in my own life. Someone hurts me and I run straight to the phone – to call someone else. We find great comfort in numbers. We want the affirmation of others to commiserate with us and egg us on in our anger.
Or, we are the eager confidant who is there with a listening ear only too willing to add fuel to the fire. Sometimes we even take things on as our own hurt and attempt to “settle a score” that had nothing to do with us to begin with. Is anyone tracking with me here or is it just me? I have seen whole groups of people gang up on one person because of a serious amount of gossip and hearts that were bent on retaliation not restoration! Mmmmm, I sense a spankin’ comin’ on! There are just some things that we will get a spanking over and I can promise you that God doesn’t waste His divine spankings!! Word to the wise: “The heart of the righteous PONDERS how to answer but the mouth of the wicked POURS out evil things” (Proverbs 15:28).
As we wrap up our groundwork in chapter 18, Jesus begins to describe the actual process of confronting one who has offended us, or as the text says, has “sinned”. Verses 15-20 provide a process to be followed for individual forgiveness and for church discipline – we aren’t going into detail here because this isn’t the focal point of the lesson but I do want to point a few things out:
In verse 15 the sister goes to the one who has hurt her, “privately.” This is a good one girls! As we just discussed, we are of a talkative, pack mentality. As soon as we are hurt the very first thing we want to do is tell someone about it so they can agree with us. We assume there is strength and justification in numbers. But scripture is clear that we are not to tell anyone. In other words, this isn’t meant to be a public spectacle. When we are convicted by the Holy Spirit it occurs in the
privacy of our own hearts. Shaming someone is never at the heart of restoration.
The rest of this passage deals with handling a member of the body of Christ who is engaged in sin in order to restore them to fellowship with the Lord and fellowship with the body. However, we see clearly here that sometimes restoration does not always take place. The focus here is on our motive and method. We are responsible for how we approach sin, the offender and the forgiveness. However, we cannot control how the other party will react. This is why it is so important for us to make sure we are doing all we can to be humble, check our own hearts and go in a spirit of restoration!
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Choosing Forgiveness: Day One
Yesterday it was pointed out the tension that exists between the Word and the world. We established that these two viewpoints will mainly collide and it will be a constant challenge for us as believers to resist the fleshly reactions of the world. I will always try to drive home the necessity for belief in God’s Word as absolute truth from beginning to end. If we are ever going to succeed in the Christian walk we must believe that God is truth and His Word reveals the wisdom of God.
However, we have a tendency to begin to question the goodness and truth of God when things get hard. We automatically associate the things that are best with the things that are pleasurable. Isn’t that the easier thing? If that were always the case then following Christ would be appealing to everyone. On the contrary, God is repeatedly calling us to deny self, take up our cross and follow Him. We are looking for a God of comfort rather than a God of conviction. As we begin our study on forgiveness let’s commit to work hard and cast off the desire to stay comfortable. Let’s challenge ourselves to open up to the healing that forgiveness brings no matter how hard it may seem.
Our main text for the next few days will be Matthew 18. We are going to read the chapter in its entirety to give us context for what we are studying. Please read Matthew 18.
Okay, I know some of you are scratching your heads at this point trying to see where all of this ties into forgiveness! Bear with me, it will make more sense as we move along. In all of chapter 18 Jesus is addressing His disciples with one continuous teaching. This is important because we always need to understand the audience. If Jesus had been preaching to the masses or addressing the religious hypocrites of the day then the passage might have taken on a different meaning. This would be a good time to point out a key point to remember when studying scripture: there are no chapter and verse divisions in the original writings. These divisions were added later for clarity and organization but they are not inspired. So, when you are reading a chapter it may not always be one complete teaching from beginning to end. Fortunately, in this case, it is.
Okay, if we look back in verse one we see that the disciples have come to Jesus with a simple question: “Who will be greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” That’s an honest question. Wouldn’t you like to know how to be greatest in the kingdom of heaven? At the top of the totem pole for all eternity? Jesus immediately answers their question by using the example of a little child as a representative of great humility and dependence. So, Jesus begins by instructing on humility in v. 1-6. The nature of a little child is one of total dependence upon another. Children have complete trust that their needs will be met. They don’t have the same anxieties and worries that adults have.
I can remember being a child and my only concern was what was for dinner, what came on t.v. that particular night of the week and who I was going to play with that day. I lived in total ignorance of the problems and anxieties that were swirling around me. That innocence lasts for such a short period of time. All too soon we become saturated with the cares of the world. Jesus is calling us back to utter dependence on Him, just like a child.
From there Jesus goes on to teach in v. 7-10 about stumbling blocks. The word stumbling block actually means “trap or trap door”. If you have ever seen a homemade rabbit trap there is usually some kind of bait deep inside a box. The animal goes after the bait. Once the bait is moved it triggers the trap door to shut thus trapping the animal inside. This is what scripture means when it talks about stumbling blocks – things that deceive us. Whatever it is that causes you to be deceived, trapped or stumble should be cut off! Although it is necessary to point out that Jesus doesn’t mean for us to walk around looking like Pirates with a patch over our eye, a hook for a hand and a peg leg. He is simply driving home the seriousness of dealing with things that would deceive us and cause us to stumble.
So, let’s stop and quickly recap. Jesus begins his instruction to His disciples addressing the necessity of humility. He then goes on to teach on stumbling blocks. Hang with me here, it will come together, I promise.
The next section of teaching begins in v.11 and runs through v. 14. However, if your Bible is like mine there may be a sub-heading at the beginning of v. 12. Remember how I said that there were no original chapter and verse divisions? This is a perfect example of how we have to be careful to follow scripture in the context of what is going on around it. If we simply take one verse or a section of verses and try to make them stand alone then we run the risk of misinterpreting what it really means.
The parable of the lost sheep, at first glance, seems to be a separate topic but as we look closer we find it has a great deal to do with forgiveness. The one sheep that has “strayed” or as some translations say “lost” is an example of one who has been deceived. Let me take a moment here to drive this point home. In John 10: 1-16 Jesus makes two of His poignant “I AM” statements, “I AM the door of the sheep” and “I AM the good Shepherd”. In His discourse He is driving home the point that His sheep know Him and follow Him. It is easy to draw the conclusion that the opposite is true as well: those that are not His sheep do not know Him and do not follow Him.
In ancient middle eastern cultures, shepherds took care of one particular flock for life because sheep are loyal creatures of habit. They quickly became acquainted with the voice of their shepherd and would only follow his call. Sheep are so sensitive to the unique call of their shepherd that many shepherds (as in the account of the birth of Christ) could abide in the same field without a concern for sheep getting lost or following the wrong shepherd. The only reason a sheep might get lost would be due to straying too far from the shepherd so as not to hear the call or if it stayed on the fringes of the flock putting it in danger of being eaten by wolves. Pretty amazing huh?
The concept of the lost sheep would have caused the disciples to take note because something would have caused this one sheep to stray from his shepherd. What is the reaction of the shepherd? He leaves the ninety-nine sheep to go search for the one that is lost! There are a lot of conclusions we could draw here but the overarching theme is that of RESTORATION. The shepherd goes after the straying sheep in order to restore it to the flock. This paints such a vivid picture of the necessity of restoration when someone has strayed.
We have a responsibility to go after those who have been deceived and are straying. I don’t know if you had the chance to read the post prior to this series about “being a Nathan”? If not, I encourage you to read it. We have gotten into the mindset that we are not responsible for the actions of other people - that each of us is autonomous or responsible only for ourselves. This is never the case! Although we are not held accountable for the individual sins of another we are accountable for others. In the case of an unbelieving world we are responsible for accurately and consistently reflecting the glory of God, making much of Christ and evangelizing the lost. In the case of fellow brothers and sisters in Christ we are responsible! We are responsible for not presenting ourselves as a stumbling block.
Scripture is very clear about this, even in this chapter. Remember what Jesus says in v. 7 about stumbling blocks? “It is inevitable that stumbling blocks will come but woe to that (wo)man through whom the stumbling block comes. The entire chapter of Romans 14 on into the first few verses of chapter 15 is dedicated solely to this truth.
I want to close today by driving this home. Ladies, I am sorrowed over how much I hear today out of the mouths of women who profess the name of Christ about their “Christian liberty”. We are brash and rebellious about our rights and we are demanding about what we deserve. We have lashed out so far against the legalistic Jesus movement of the 70’s that the pendulum has swung heavily in the opposite direction. We are no longer concerned about what people think or how we appear to others, unbelieving or believing. We have no regard for the struggles in others lives and we are quick to cast a stone toward someone who would “judge” otherwise.
We have used our Christian liberty which was given in order to EDIFY others as a cloak to justify our own sinful desires! I watch as the church runs head long into the enjoyment of the things of this world. We barely stand out anymore. We dress like the world, we watch what the world does, we socialize like the world and we even “worship” like the world. We have lost our flavor as salt and our light, in contrast to their darkness, has become dim.
We are called to be different! Not just in what we profess with our mouths but in how we live. There should be a noticeable difference. God set Israel APART from other nations. He calls us to be set apart. He says, “Be holy as I am holy.” People should notice that I don’t talk the way they do. People should notice I don’t dress the way they do. People should notice that there are places I don’t go and things I don’t do. I don’t have to say a word, I can just do it! And then, when they notice, and believe me, they will take notice, I can speak of the reason that my life is different.
The point? Why is there a need for the world to desire what it already is? In other words, if the world only sees the world when it looks at us then how does it know there is anything different to be desired? It doesn’t see the change, it sees itself. As we look at forgiveness we will find that we are to respond “other than” the world. It will be hard, it will uncomfortable, it will be good and it will be right. Oh yes, and it will be different!
However, we have a tendency to begin to question the goodness and truth of God when things get hard. We automatically associate the things that are best with the things that are pleasurable. Isn’t that the easier thing? If that were always the case then following Christ would be appealing to everyone. On the contrary, God is repeatedly calling us to deny self, take up our cross and follow Him. We are looking for a God of comfort rather than a God of conviction. As we begin our study on forgiveness let’s commit to work hard and cast off the desire to stay comfortable. Let’s challenge ourselves to open up to the healing that forgiveness brings no matter how hard it may seem.
Our main text for the next few days will be Matthew 18. We are going to read the chapter in its entirety to give us context for what we are studying. Please read Matthew 18.
Okay, I know some of you are scratching your heads at this point trying to see where all of this ties into forgiveness! Bear with me, it will make more sense as we move along. In all of chapter 18 Jesus is addressing His disciples with one continuous teaching. This is important because we always need to understand the audience. If Jesus had been preaching to the masses or addressing the religious hypocrites of the day then the passage might have taken on a different meaning. This would be a good time to point out a key point to remember when studying scripture: there are no chapter and verse divisions in the original writings. These divisions were added later for clarity and organization but they are not inspired. So, when you are reading a chapter it may not always be one complete teaching from beginning to end. Fortunately, in this case, it is.
Okay, if we look back in verse one we see that the disciples have come to Jesus with a simple question: “Who will be greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” That’s an honest question. Wouldn’t you like to know how to be greatest in the kingdom of heaven? At the top of the totem pole for all eternity? Jesus immediately answers their question by using the example of a little child as a representative of great humility and dependence. So, Jesus begins by instructing on humility in v. 1-6. The nature of a little child is one of total dependence upon another. Children have complete trust that their needs will be met. They don’t have the same anxieties and worries that adults have.
I can remember being a child and my only concern was what was for dinner, what came on t.v. that particular night of the week and who I was going to play with that day. I lived in total ignorance of the problems and anxieties that were swirling around me. That innocence lasts for such a short period of time. All too soon we become saturated with the cares of the world. Jesus is calling us back to utter dependence on Him, just like a child.
From there Jesus goes on to teach in v. 7-10 about stumbling blocks. The word stumbling block actually means “trap or trap door”. If you have ever seen a homemade rabbit trap there is usually some kind of bait deep inside a box. The animal goes after the bait. Once the bait is moved it triggers the trap door to shut thus trapping the animal inside. This is what scripture means when it talks about stumbling blocks – things that deceive us. Whatever it is that causes you to be deceived, trapped or stumble should be cut off! Although it is necessary to point out that Jesus doesn’t mean for us to walk around looking like Pirates with a patch over our eye, a hook for a hand and a peg leg. He is simply driving home the seriousness of dealing with things that would deceive us and cause us to stumble.
So, let’s stop and quickly recap. Jesus begins his instruction to His disciples addressing the necessity of humility. He then goes on to teach on stumbling blocks. Hang with me here, it will come together, I promise.
The next section of teaching begins in v.11 and runs through v. 14. However, if your Bible is like mine there may be a sub-heading at the beginning of v. 12. Remember how I said that there were no original chapter and verse divisions? This is a perfect example of how we have to be careful to follow scripture in the context of what is going on around it. If we simply take one verse or a section of verses and try to make them stand alone then we run the risk of misinterpreting what it really means.
The parable of the lost sheep, at first glance, seems to be a separate topic but as we look closer we find it has a great deal to do with forgiveness. The one sheep that has “strayed” or as some translations say “lost” is an example of one who has been deceived. Let me take a moment here to drive this point home. In John 10: 1-16 Jesus makes two of His poignant “I AM” statements, “I AM the door of the sheep” and “I AM the good Shepherd”. In His discourse He is driving home the point that His sheep know Him and follow Him. It is easy to draw the conclusion that the opposite is true as well: those that are not His sheep do not know Him and do not follow Him.
In ancient middle eastern cultures, shepherds took care of one particular flock for life because sheep are loyal creatures of habit. They quickly became acquainted with the voice of their shepherd and would only follow his call. Sheep are so sensitive to the unique call of their shepherd that many shepherds (as in the account of the birth of Christ) could abide in the same field without a concern for sheep getting lost or following the wrong shepherd. The only reason a sheep might get lost would be due to straying too far from the shepherd so as not to hear the call or if it stayed on the fringes of the flock putting it in danger of being eaten by wolves. Pretty amazing huh?
The concept of the lost sheep would have caused the disciples to take note because something would have caused this one sheep to stray from his shepherd. What is the reaction of the shepherd? He leaves the ninety-nine sheep to go search for the one that is lost! There are a lot of conclusions we could draw here but the overarching theme is that of RESTORATION. The shepherd goes after the straying sheep in order to restore it to the flock. This paints such a vivid picture of the necessity of restoration when someone has strayed.
We have a responsibility to go after those who have been deceived and are straying. I don’t know if you had the chance to read the post prior to this series about “being a Nathan”? If not, I encourage you to read it. We have gotten into the mindset that we are not responsible for the actions of other people - that each of us is autonomous or responsible only for ourselves. This is never the case! Although we are not held accountable for the individual sins of another we are accountable for others. In the case of an unbelieving world we are responsible for accurately and consistently reflecting the glory of God, making much of Christ and evangelizing the lost. In the case of fellow brothers and sisters in Christ we are responsible! We are responsible for not presenting ourselves as a stumbling block.
Scripture is very clear about this, even in this chapter. Remember what Jesus says in v. 7 about stumbling blocks? “It is inevitable that stumbling blocks will come but woe to that (wo)man through whom the stumbling block comes. The entire chapter of Romans 14 on into the first few verses of chapter 15 is dedicated solely to this truth.
I want to close today by driving this home. Ladies, I am sorrowed over how much I hear today out of the mouths of women who profess the name of Christ about their “Christian liberty”. We are brash and rebellious about our rights and we are demanding about what we deserve. We have lashed out so far against the legalistic Jesus movement of the 70’s that the pendulum has swung heavily in the opposite direction. We are no longer concerned about what people think or how we appear to others, unbelieving or believing. We have no regard for the struggles in others lives and we are quick to cast a stone toward someone who would “judge” otherwise.
We have used our Christian liberty which was given in order to EDIFY others as a cloak to justify our own sinful desires! I watch as the church runs head long into the enjoyment of the things of this world. We barely stand out anymore. We dress like the world, we watch what the world does, we socialize like the world and we even “worship” like the world. We have lost our flavor as salt and our light, in contrast to their darkness, has become dim.
We are called to be different! Not just in what we profess with our mouths but in how we live. There should be a noticeable difference. God set Israel APART from other nations. He calls us to be set apart. He says, “Be holy as I am holy.” People should notice that I don’t talk the way they do. People should notice I don’t dress the way they do. People should notice that there are places I don’t go and things I don’t do. I don’t have to say a word, I can just do it! And then, when they notice, and believe me, they will take notice, I can speak of the reason that my life is different.
The point? Why is there a need for the world to desire what it already is? In other words, if the world only sees the world when it looks at us then how does it know there is anything different to be desired? It doesn’t see the change, it sees itself. As we look at forgiveness we will find that we are to respond “other than” the world. It will be hard, it will uncomfortable, it will be good and it will be right. Oh yes, and it will be different!
Monday, March 26, 2012
Choosing Forgiveness: Introduction
When you hear the word forgiveness what is the first thing that comes to mind? Do you immediately envision a scenario where two people have quarreled and one comes to the other with a down –trodden look and says, “I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?” Maybe you think about forgiveness as a way to pacify or keep things peaceful. Then again, maybe you see forgiveness as a weakness, a character flaw, an undesirable, unnecessary part of life.
If you have lived for any length of time, long enough that you can read this, then you have been wronged at least once in your life but probably multiple times. The sting of betrayal, ridicule, rejection, abuse, lies and ill-treatment bring memories that are vivid and often very hard to forget. The truth is it just plain hurts. It hurts to be sinned against. Sin hurts. And because sin hurts, forgiveness is hard. The ultimate price of forgiveness was death, so, yes, forgiveness is hard ….and it is costly. Jesus knows. But, if you have been a believer any time at all you know that just because something is hard doesn’t mean we can ignore it. On the contrary, we are, more often than not, called to do the hard thing. The thing that goes against our natural, fleshly inclinations and requires strength that only the Spirit of God can equip us to fulfill. Forgiveness is one of those things.
Forgiveness is a topic rarely talked about anymore. We certainly don’t hear about it in secular circles and we hear about it less and less in Christian circles. Why? Because forgiveness is passé. Retaliation, revenge, playing hard ball, making someone pay, making excuses, back peddling and getting even are all characteristics of strong, successful people. Justifying our bitterness, anger and unforgiveness is widely accepted today. We say things like, “I don’t blame you, I’d be mad too” or “don’t get mad, get even” or “pay day, some day.” Qualities like forgiveness, forbearance and reconciliation are not valued, if anything they are seen as weakness. In our minds, we associate forgiveness with spineless doormats who just need to learn to stand up for themselves.
However, this is not what scripture teaches. So, either we are wrong or scripture is wrong. Time and again the world and scripture are going to collide. We will constantly be making decisions to follow the world or follow the Lord. Scripture says in Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind!”
So, in this study we are going to lay aside our conformity to the world on forgiveness and be transformed by what the Word says! We will examine what scripture says about forgiveness in 5 areas: the Basis of our forgiveness, the Bitterness of withholding forgiveness, the Basics of forgiveness, the Blessing of forgiveness and the Benefit of forgiveness. We will biblically navigate all of these aspects of forgiveness. Why should we forgive? What does it look like to forgive? Does forgiving mean I should forget? What if the person who hurt me never asks for forgiveness?
Between today and tomorrow take some time to search your heart and petition the Lord in prayer. Make a list of people that you have not forgiven. Yes, maybe you said you had forgiven them but deep down you know you are still penalizing them and harboring bitterness towards them. Ask the Lord to grant you grace during this study to lay this down once and for all to His glory…and for your good.
If you have lived for any length of time, long enough that you can read this, then you have been wronged at least once in your life but probably multiple times. The sting of betrayal, ridicule, rejection, abuse, lies and ill-treatment bring memories that are vivid and often very hard to forget. The truth is it just plain hurts. It hurts to be sinned against. Sin hurts. And because sin hurts, forgiveness is hard. The ultimate price of forgiveness was death, so, yes, forgiveness is hard ….and it is costly. Jesus knows. But, if you have been a believer any time at all you know that just because something is hard doesn’t mean we can ignore it. On the contrary, we are, more often than not, called to do the hard thing. The thing that goes against our natural, fleshly inclinations and requires strength that only the Spirit of God can equip us to fulfill. Forgiveness is one of those things.
Forgiveness is a topic rarely talked about anymore. We certainly don’t hear about it in secular circles and we hear about it less and less in Christian circles. Why? Because forgiveness is passé. Retaliation, revenge, playing hard ball, making someone pay, making excuses, back peddling and getting even are all characteristics of strong, successful people. Justifying our bitterness, anger and unforgiveness is widely accepted today. We say things like, “I don’t blame you, I’d be mad too” or “don’t get mad, get even” or “pay day, some day.” Qualities like forgiveness, forbearance and reconciliation are not valued, if anything they are seen as weakness. In our minds, we associate forgiveness with spineless doormats who just need to learn to stand up for themselves.
However, this is not what scripture teaches. So, either we are wrong or scripture is wrong. Time and again the world and scripture are going to collide. We will constantly be making decisions to follow the world or follow the Lord. Scripture says in Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind!”
So, in this study we are going to lay aside our conformity to the world on forgiveness and be transformed by what the Word says! We will examine what scripture says about forgiveness in 5 areas: the Basis of our forgiveness, the Bitterness of withholding forgiveness, the Basics of forgiveness, the Blessing of forgiveness and the Benefit of forgiveness. We will biblically navigate all of these aspects of forgiveness. Why should we forgive? What does it look like to forgive? Does forgiving mean I should forget? What if the person who hurt me never asks for forgiveness?
Between today and tomorrow take some time to search your heart and petition the Lord in prayer. Make a list of people that you have not forgiven. Yes, maybe you said you had forgiven them but deep down you know you are still penalizing them and harboring bitterness towards them. Ask the Lord to grant you grace during this study to lay this down once and for all to His glory…and for your good.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Be a Nathan!
We've all been there. We've all had the friend that claimed to be a believer but was living out a sinful lifestyle. Some, if not most of us, have been that friend at one time. Everyone around us can see the sin but no one wants to speak up for fear of appearing judgmental or intolerant. It is just so much easier to be a yes man. It keeps the peace and it maintains friendships. But, is keeping quiet really the right thing to do?
In recent years I have adopted the saying, “Be a Nathan”. I’m not sure where the saying originated but I’m a fan. We are all called to be Nathans but in our world of tolerance and fear over offending someone, we have sinned by keeping silent. The church is in desperate need of more Nathans. Will you rise to the high calling of what God has set forth by the TRUTH of His word?
In order to best understand who Nathan is we need to go to the portion of scripture that has to do with Nathan – novel idea I know! Turn with me to 2 Samuel 12. Before you read the chapter let me give you a little background on what has taken place to set the stage for Nathan.
In 2 Samuel 11, David has come upon a woman named Bathsheba as she is bathing on her roof top. It says in verse 1 that this was at a time when kings go out to battle. David, as king, was obviously not out to battle. While his men fought for the kingdom of Israel, David stayed at home. When David saw Bathsheba bathing he inquired about her. “Is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?” The response he got should have been enough to thwart his desire but unfortunately, it was not.
Scripture describes this scenario in James 1:14-15, “But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.” To clarify, lust is not just a sexual desire for someone but can most easily be translated as “a strong desire of the human soul to enjoy or acquire something to fulfill the flesh.” In the case of David, lust was sexual but lust is not always physical in nature.
So David calls for Bathsheba and commits adultery with her knowing that 1)she is a married woman and 2) she is married to one of his soldiers who is out to war. The very next verse, verse 5 says, “The woman conceived; and she sent and told David, and said, ‘I am pregnant.’” Will your sins find you out or will your sins find you out? For David, he didn’t have to wait long to begin to see the hammer fall.
So David concocts a scheme to cover up his sin by calling Uriah in from the battlefield to have some time with his wife. David assumed that Uriah, tired from battle, would have some much needed R&R and then the child could be passed off as his. However, Uriah, being an honorable man declined the invitation and slept at David’s gate because his fellow soldiers were not afforded the same luxury. David attempts to manipulate the circumstances two different times but to no avail. Uriah’s valor could not be corrupted. So David plots to have Uriah killed and even sends Uriah’s death warrant by his (Uriah’s) own hand! Today we would call that
premeditated murder.
Do you see how sin grows in its intensity? Adultery led to lies, corruption and eventually murder. Very rarely does one sin stay within the confines of itself. Sin has a nasty way of growing and demanding more sin in order to cover for the original sin. What is the saying? “Oh what a tangled web we weave when at first we practice to deceive?” I have to give an “Amen” to that one, girls! We close chapter 11 with this verse, “When the time of mourning was over, David sent and brought her to his house and she became his wife; then she bore him a son. But the thing that David had done was EVIL in the sight of the Lord.”
Enter Nathan. Please read all of chapter 12.
What does the very first verse of chapter 12 say? Then THE LORD SENT Nathan to David. Nathan was commissioned by the Lord for the very purpose of confronting David over his sin. Now, let me pause here for a second to point out a few things: Nathan was not vengeful in his confrontation. He presented the parable and confronted David with the word of the Lord. Nathan did not give his own opinion and he didn’t berate David. He left room for the Holy Spirit to convict.
So, what is meant by the statement, “Be a Nathan?” We are responsible as believers to lovingly confront sin in the lives of other believers. As the world has continued to beat the drum of tolerance, the church has conceded. We have sinned by allowing immorality to not only be tolerated but also to be paraded. We have pacified ourselves under the mantra of love for our own comfort all the while the name of Christ is being blasphemed.
Now that we have seen an Old Testament example of confrontation of sin, what does the New Testament have to say? In his first letter to the Corinthian church, Paul addresses a situation of immorality within the church among one of its members. In 1 Cor. 5: 1-13, Paul is instructing them on how to deal with sin among believers. In verses 11a, 12b, 13b, Paul says this, “I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person. Do you not judge those who are within the church? Remove the wicked man from among yourselves.”
Girls, unbelievers are to be evangelized but believers who claim the name of Christ and are practicing unrepentant sin are to be confronted. Not for the purpose of pointing out someone’s failures, not for the satisfaction of being able to say, “I told you so” but for the purpose of maintaining purity within the bride of Christ so that the name of the Lord is not shamed. Sin is serious business in my life and in yours. Sin cost the precious Lamb of God His life. We should be jealous for the costly blood that was shed to pay for our sin and for the name that is above every name; our Savior, our bridegroom, our Life and our Resurrection!
Have you ever felt righteous anger? Have you ever been jealous for the name of the Lord? I’m talking about seeing purity in the church, purity among the people who claim the name of Christ and a hatred of sin that defiles everything it touches. Paul said, “a little leaven leavens the whole lump.” In modern day terminology you would say, “you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas.” In other words, there is no such thing as a little sin. Sin contaminates everything. Just as it only takes a drop of poison to make water that was once pure, deadly; such is the nature of sin.
I write all of this to spur each of us on to restore our sisters in Christ to a purity of life that is for their good and for God’s glory. When we confront for the purpose of restoration we are doing right by our sisters: “If your sister sins, go and show her her fault IN PRIVATE; if she listens to you, you have won your sister” (Matt. 18:15).
In closing, I want to point out a few things that are necessary in the understanding of what it does and does not look like to “be a Nathan” (all taken from the context of Matthew 18):
1) Check your own heart first! Confronting another believer over sin is so serious that scripture warns us to watch ourselves lest we fall into temptation. This is not a time for you to wave the banner of the “brutality of rightness”. This is what I mean – if it would bring you joy to confront this person over their sin then you are not the one to go! The person who is almost sick over it should be the one. It should grieve you to have to confront this sister and you should solely be motivated by love. Is your motive to tear down or restore?
2)The goal should always be restoration! When the shepherd pursues the lost sheep that has gone astray, he is seeking to restore that sheep to the fold. When Nathan confronted David, David’s response is a picture of what we should be praying and hoping will occur. David immediately repented and was restored. This is why David, even though his sins were great, was called, “a man after God’s own heart.” David was always contrite over his sin and moved quickly to repent. Psalm 51 is his response to this confrontation by Nathan. Oh that all would go this way and be restored!
3)Stick to the truth of scripture. You must be able to have a biblical basis for the sin.
4)DO NOT confront on hearsay!!
Scripture says to go PRIVATELY! The first time you confront it should be done in private. This is not a time for majority rules, a gossip session or strength in numbers. The good of the person you are confronting should be the primary concern – not your pride.
5)Lastly and most important, leave room for the Holy Spirit! Often times we expect immediate responses of conviction like David. Sometimes that happens but most often there is anger as an initial response. Do your part but then you must leave conviction to the Holy Spirit and timing of God. I have seen people who are confronted and years later are broken and repentant. Never underestimate God’s providence.
Is this hard? Yes! Does this take courage? Yes! Is this pleasing to the Lord? Yes! The hard thing is more often than not the right thing! Be a Nathan, ladies, be a Nathan!
In recent years I have adopted the saying, “Be a Nathan”. I’m not sure where the saying originated but I’m a fan. We are all called to be Nathans but in our world of tolerance and fear over offending someone, we have sinned by keeping silent. The church is in desperate need of more Nathans. Will you rise to the high calling of what God has set forth by the TRUTH of His word?
In order to best understand who Nathan is we need to go to the portion of scripture that has to do with Nathan – novel idea I know! Turn with me to 2 Samuel 12. Before you read the chapter let me give you a little background on what has taken place to set the stage for Nathan.
In 2 Samuel 11, David has come upon a woman named Bathsheba as she is bathing on her roof top. It says in verse 1 that this was at a time when kings go out to battle. David, as king, was obviously not out to battle. While his men fought for the kingdom of Israel, David stayed at home. When David saw Bathsheba bathing he inquired about her. “Is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?” The response he got should have been enough to thwart his desire but unfortunately, it was not.
Scripture describes this scenario in James 1:14-15, “But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.” To clarify, lust is not just a sexual desire for someone but can most easily be translated as “a strong desire of the human soul to enjoy or acquire something to fulfill the flesh.” In the case of David, lust was sexual but lust is not always physical in nature.
So David calls for Bathsheba and commits adultery with her knowing that 1)she is a married woman and 2) she is married to one of his soldiers who is out to war. The very next verse, verse 5 says, “The woman conceived; and she sent and told David, and said, ‘I am pregnant.’” Will your sins find you out or will your sins find you out? For David, he didn’t have to wait long to begin to see the hammer fall.
So David concocts a scheme to cover up his sin by calling Uriah in from the battlefield to have some time with his wife. David assumed that Uriah, tired from battle, would have some much needed R&R and then the child could be passed off as his. However, Uriah, being an honorable man declined the invitation and slept at David’s gate because his fellow soldiers were not afforded the same luxury. David attempts to manipulate the circumstances two different times but to no avail. Uriah’s valor could not be corrupted. So David plots to have Uriah killed and even sends Uriah’s death warrant by his (Uriah’s) own hand! Today we would call that
premeditated murder.
Do you see how sin grows in its intensity? Adultery led to lies, corruption and eventually murder. Very rarely does one sin stay within the confines of itself. Sin has a nasty way of growing and demanding more sin in order to cover for the original sin. What is the saying? “Oh what a tangled web we weave when at first we practice to deceive?” I have to give an “Amen” to that one, girls! We close chapter 11 with this verse, “When the time of mourning was over, David sent and brought her to his house and she became his wife; then she bore him a son. But the thing that David had done was EVIL in the sight of the Lord.”
Enter Nathan. Please read all of chapter 12.
What does the very first verse of chapter 12 say? Then THE LORD SENT Nathan to David. Nathan was commissioned by the Lord for the very purpose of confronting David over his sin. Now, let me pause here for a second to point out a few things: Nathan was not vengeful in his confrontation. He presented the parable and confronted David with the word of the Lord. Nathan did not give his own opinion and he didn’t berate David. He left room for the Holy Spirit to convict.
So, what is meant by the statement, “Be a Nathan?” We are responsible as believers to lovingly confront sin in the lives of other believers. As the world has continued to beat the drum of tolerance, the church has conceded. We have sinned by allowing immorality to not only be tolerated but also to be paraded. We have pacified ourselves under the mantra of love for our own comfort all the while the name of Christ is being blasphemed.
Now that we have seen an Old Testament example of confrontation of sin, what does the New Testament have to say? In his first letter to the Corinthian church, Paul addresses a situation of immorality within the church among one of its members. In 1 Cor. 5: 1-13, Paul is instructing them on how to deal with sin among believers. In verses 11a, 12b, 13b, Paul says this, “I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person. Do you not judge those who are within the church? Remove the wicked man from among yourselves.”
Girls, unbelievers are to be evangelized but believers who claim the name of Christ and are practicing unrepentant sin are to be confronted. Not for the purpose of pointing out someone’s failures, not for the satisfaction of being able to say, “I told you so” but for the purpose of maintaining purity within the bride of Christ so that the name of the Lord is not shamed. Sin is serious business in my life and in yours. Sin cost the precious Lamb of God His life. We should be jealous for the costly blood that was shed to pay for our sin and for the name that is above every name; our Savior, our bridegroom, our Life and our Resurrection!
Have you ever felt righteous anger? Have you ever been jealous for the name of the Lord? I’m talking about seeing purity in the church, purity among the people who claim the name of Christ and a hatred of sin that defiles everything it touches. Paul said, “a little leaven leavens the whole lump.” In modern day terminology you would say, “you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas.” In other words, there is no such thing as a little sin. Sin contaminates everything. Just as it only takes a drop of poison to make water that was once pure, deadly; such is the nature of sin.
I write all of this to spur each of us on to restore our sisters in Christ to a purity of life that is for their good and for God’s glory. When we confront for the purpose of restoration we are doing right by our sisters: “If your sister sins, go and show her her fault IN PRIVATE; if she listens to you, you have won your sister” (Matt. 18:15).
In closing, I want to point out a few things that are necessary in the understanding of what it does and does not look like to “be a Nathan” (all taken from the context of Matthew 18):
1) Check your own heart first! Confronting another believer over sin is so serious that scripture warns us to watch ourselves lest we fall into temptation. This is not a time for you to wave the banner of the “brutality of rightness”. This is what I mean – if it would bring you joy to confront this person over their sin then you are not the one to go! The person who is almost sick over it should be the one. It should grieve you to have to confront this sister and you should solely be motivated by love. Is your motive to tear down or restore?
2)The goal should always be restoration! When the shepherd pursues the lost sheep that has gone astray, he is seeking to restore that sheep to the fold. When Nathan confronted David, David’s response is a picture of what we should be praying and hoping will occur. David immediately repented and was restored. This is why David, even though his sins were great, was called, “a man after God’s own heart.” David was always contrite over his sin and moved quickly to repent. Psalm 51 is his response to this confrontation by Nathan. Oh that all would go this way and be restored!
3)Stick to the truth of scripture. You must be able to have a biblical basis for the sin.
4)DO NOT confront on hearsay!!
Scripture says to go PRIVATELY! The first time you confront it should be done in private. This is not a time for majority rules, a gossip session or strength in numbers. The good of the person you are confronting should be the primary concern – not your pride.
5)Lastly and most important, leave room for the Holy Spirit! Often times we expect immediate responses of conviction like David. Sometimes that happens but most often there is anger as an initial response. Do your part but then you must leave conviction to the Holy Spirit and timing of God. I have seen people who are confronted and years later are broken and repentant. Never underestimate God’s providence.
Is this hard? Yes! Does this take courage? Yes! Is this pleasing to the Lord? Yes! The hard thing is more often than not the right thing! Be a Nathan, ladies, be a Nathan!
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