Woe is me, I am undone

In my study over the last few months I have been drawn to several parables that have made me focus in on the sin of pride in my life. Truly, I don't know if there is a harder sin to gain dominion over because all of sin begins in the root of pride. Back in the fall we began studying the parable of the Prodigal Son in Sunday School. I felt that I knew this parable front to back and that there wasn't any hidden meaning for me to gain. Then suddenly this parable was everywhere - in my daily devotions, in messages I would listen to, in books I was reading. I realized that I needed to confess my arrogance and take note that God was trying to get my attention. It was about that time that my dear friend Jessica gave me a copy of the book "The Prodigal God" by Tim Keller. I promised her I would read it but I set it aside for the present time thinking again that I didn't have much I could glean from another interpretation of this well known parable. I cannot tell you how very wrong I was!
If you are familiar with the parable, found in Luke 15:11-32, you know that there are two sons, the younger who is often known as the Prodigal Son and the elder who is most often considered the faithful son. Upon further investigation this parable has as much or more to do with the wicked heart of the elder son then the redemption of the younger son. After reading the first few chapters of Tim Keller's book I was immediately convicted of an elder brother spirit! I cannot even begin to tell you how disturbing this was to me, the fact that I had related all these years with the bitterness and anger of the elder son toward his father for welcoming the younger son back with no penalty! Even to write this out pains me because I can still identify with those feelings.
I give that much background to bring the story full circle to today's post. I have been asking the Lord to convict me and grant me a spirit of humility. I am aware that this can be a dangerous prayer, as my Momma says, "Be careful what you pray for!" But I had finally gotten to the point where the fear of being arrogant and prideful was greater than the fear of God renewing a right spirit within me - no matter how he may do it, I think :) - ask me in few years I'll let you know! Anyway, I was reading from one of my favorite blogs last night, 9marks, and I was looking over some of the older posts and I came upon two concurrent posts titled "Cultivate Humility". I immediately said to myself, "Self, this sounds like a post for you!" These posts contain two lists, one that identifies prideful behaviors and attitudes and the other which identifies and cultivates humble behaviors. What a treasure!
I began this morning with the first three: 1)complaining against God or passing judgement on God, 2)a lack of gratitude and 3)anger. I spent a while on the parable of The Landowner in Matthew 20:1-16. The same attitude from the elder brother permeates the hearts of the servants who were hired first. Again, I am struck to the heart. "What shall we say then? There is NO injustice with God, is there? May it never be!" Romans 9:14
Wow, I have such a long way to go! My prayer and petition is that as fellow believers we would diligently seek to be humble that God would not resist us but give grace to us, starting with me. Let us come boldly before the throne and ask that we might receive humility directly from the source!