Wow! The enemy is really doing a number on me right now (I am ashamed to say that I am cooperating) and I am probably the worst person for you to call if you need a bright spot in your day! I would be the hurricane in your parade or the one to burst all your bubbles! Am I the only one who has these days and truly hates them? I really even hate being in my own skin on days like this. It makes you want to go to bed and start all over again!
I am speculating that it has something to do with our long awaited Ladies' Retreat being over and all of the excitement that comes with that leading to a let down. I also am in a definite season of responsibility and being overwhelmed with everything. I have the distinct feeling that the other shoe is going to drop pretty soon and I am needing to make some spiritual progress upon my high places of responsibility right now while I still have one shoe left! So, I have been sitting here with my schizophrenic self volleying back and forth between a good cry and a good scream. I cry for a bit and then I get mad that I'm crying, then I cry because I'm mad and so on...you get the picture - and it's not a pretty one.
One thing I know for sure, this too shall pass. I am learning the true meaning of how little I control in life. Which leads me to ask God, "Why?", and to ask it often. I truly don't have a clue what He is doing in my life and this is one of those times when I am not okay with that - but does it matter? Not really. He is God and I am not and He will have His way, no matter what I say (that could be a poem: roses are red, violets are blue, He will have His way, No matter what I say!) You can see that the gift of poetry does not rest here! I guess I am looking for something clever, something wise, some spiritual truth to tie it all up in a nice bow but alas, nothing! Which brings to mind this: "In this world we will have tribulation...
God never promised a cake walk, in fact, He teaches time and again through His word that we will suffer. In the sermon on Sunday the point was brought out that suffering is a reference to "external pressures". All people suffer in their bodies, whether believers or unbelievers because of the curse of sin, but believers suffer externally as well. In the lesson on Saturday night I taught on suffering with JOY - uh oh, the revelation - don't exhort others to embrace what you can't do yourself - for it will truly come back and bite you in the proverbial butt!
Suffering with joy accomplishes many things but specifically these two: it increases the faith of other believers and it makes unbelievers take notice. It is natural to suffer with grumblings but it is supernatural (of God) to suffer with joy. This is what a dying world is looking to place their faith in - a hope, something supernatural, something outside of themselves and this dying world. A lost world is looking for JESUS! But, they will never find Him in us if we look just like them. Lesson to self!
To conclude, I do control one thing for sure, my attitude and my time in the word. God will equip me with joy if I ask, trust to receive it and renew my mind with scripture - looking to Jesus. The end to the scripture in John 16:33...Take hope, I have overcome the world. Do I choose to TAKE hope today or sit and watch it pass by? I'm trading my sorrows...for the joy of the Lord!
P.S. It's okay to call now ;)
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