And She Shall Be Called "Woman" (The Tongue - Day One)

Few things are as universal to us as women like speech or more specifically the enjoyment of the “gift of gab”. Thanks to modern day technology, between the telephone, texting, tweeting, email and Facebook we can successfully be involved in constant conversation from the time our feet hit the floor in the morning until our heads hit the pillow at night! We just love to talk about anything, everything and nothing at all! My eight year old proves this genetically predisposed fact every morning. From the time her feet hit the floor she is talking. There are times when she will be talking while I am cooking dinner and I will drift off into thought only to come back to and find her STILL talking. As long as I offer a sufficient “uh-huh” every few minutes, and sometimes when I don’t, she is content to carry on. It used to be when she was little and took baths that she would ask Kraig to come “sit on the potty” to talk with her while she played in the tub because she didn’t want to be alone! It became a running joke in our house that anytime someone wanted to talk we would say, “Come sit on the potty!” But no one had to teach her this! She was only 3 or 4, just old enough to put sentences together and she wanted to share her thoughts and feelings, her WORDS, with somebody!

From a very young age we wait for babies to say their first words. We even look like speech pathologists mouthing “Mama” and “Dada” to our newborns in hopes they will be verbal over-achievers. Then, it isn’t long before we wish that there was a button we could push that would take “Mama” off the vocabulary list for at least a few hours, especially around age 2 and 3 and 4...11. But truthfully, we long to be able to have our children and others around us express what they are thinking and feeling. Perhaps this is why we get so frustrated at men for not talking because we thrive on communication. So, what do we do with all of this? Our words. When to speak, what to say, how much to say, how to say it. There is wisdom in learning to use our tongues for good and to make the most of every word we say.

It is appropriate for us to see where the first word was spoken and its context. If you go all the way back to Genesis 1:3 we have record of the very first words spoken, “And God SAID, ‘Let there be light.’” So, we see that God was the one who spoke the first words and that His words were very powerful. So powerful in fact that He created the entire universe with the spoken word! This brings us to our first point about words: words are powerful! As the creature, our words are not equal in power with God’s words however, being made in the image of God, we are privileged with the ability to communicate. Initially, our words were ultimately to praise God and communicate with other people but very soon after Genesis 1:3 things started to go awry!

In Genesis 3 God creates Adam and Eve and places them in the garden. Up to this point in scripture, God has spoken to Adam to INSTRUCT him about his responsibilities in the garden and also to WARN him about about the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Then, in Genesis 3:1 the serpent enters the picture and he SPEAKS to entice Eve and tempt her to sin. Then, she SPEAKS back and it is all over from there! Satan initiated the conversation and she joined in. How different would this encounter have been if there had been no words exchanged? Although we will never know the answer to that question we can clearly see the power of the spoken word. Wow, how this teaches us! Three very important points to take with us from this passage:
1 - We must realize the importance of every conversation, indeed every word. There are some people we don’t need to be having conversations with...calling out “Debbie Downer, Negative Nelly and Scoffing ??” (couldn’t think of a name that goes with that but you get the point). There are some topics we don’t need to be talking about. We have to be wise when choosing the person we go to about certain subjects. Your best friend may not be the best person to talk to about marital issues if she jumps on the bandwagon of “husband bashing” with you! In this case, Eve should have ended the conversation the minute Satan attempted to confuse what God had said.
2 - We must realize the importance of not always being involved in every conversation. Often, we feel that it is necessary to put in our “two cents”. There is a sense of validation that we get from having been heard. The Lord has really dealt with me on this because Proverbs 10:19 says, “where there is a multitude of words, sin is unavoidable. Simply put, the more you say, the more likely you are to say something you shouldn’t! We don’t always have to be heard. Case in point, Eve didn’t have to entertain the conversation, she could have remained silent choosing not to engage the serpent which ultimately led to her vulnerability. It opened up her mind to his scheming.
3 - We must realize the importance of choosing our words carefully and not using them in order to persuade others to sin. There is something inherent in us as women that gives us the ability to persuade others to do what we want them to do. The term coined for this would be “feminine wiles”. Need a mental picture? Think Delilah or Scarlett O’hara! Got it? There is a certain sway that we as women can have over men in general. It usually starts with a little girl and her Daddy. I have had a front row seat to the tugging of my daughter at her Daddy’s heartstrings. She could get just about anything she wanted from him with a word and sometimes it wouldn’t even take that much! From there, we start to see our powers of persuasion over young adolescent boys and it isn’t long before we are as silver-tongued as any snake charmer! Girls, this is flattery and it is sin! The word is very clear about flattery and the use of words for selfish gain. “A flattering mouth works ruin” (Prov. 26:28). We must guard ourselves against using our mouths to persuade people against their will! Eve persuaded her husband, enticed him to sin without a word! She was the instigator and look at the consequences. Thousands of years later we are still reeling from the results of her sin.

As we close out day one of our look at taming the tongue, let’s begin to ask the Lord to make us aware of our words. When we speak, how often we speak, what we say, to whom do we say it etc; If we were limited in what we could say how would it affect our conversations during the day? Let’s commit to bring our tongues under submission of the Holy Spirit and ask Him to be Lord over our mouths to use them for blessing instead of cursing, good instead of evil and building up instead of tearing down.

Can you say..."Dull of hearing?"

I’m going to embarassingly (I know, not a real word!) tell on myself. Just last week I commented on a blog post from a blog that I visit regularly. I will not incur any more shame by telling you which blog it was however, I got REALLY fired up about what was being said because it seemed to be mocking the word of God. Now, I am definitely a passionate person and therefore it doesn’t take much to get me fired up but I am fiercely defensive of God’s word! (Lesson number one: God’s word needs no defense, it speaks for itself!) Anyway, I posted a comment in great haste, violating the command for a timely response AND it was pretty nasty! I crossed over from using my words to edify into slander and complete condemnation - in print, mind you! Yes, out there with my name on it for the WHOLE world to see. Well, the person that responded to my comment did so with such grace and civility that I looked like even more of a complete fool than before (if that was possible!). To make things worse, they give other readers the ability to “like” or “dislike” each comment and I was racking up the “dislikes” big time. I was actively looking for a hole to crawl into, quickly! It felt like something etched into the bathroom stall in high school for all the generations to come! I was convicted, embarrassed, mortified and Kraig even agreed, “this one was a doozy!” I had just finished up my neat and tidy five-day devotional study on the tongue...yes, I said the tongue and I had fallen flat on my face in an effort to retain one iota of what I had studied!!

I quickly hit the floor in repentance and then asked God to give me some very appropriate words to admit my sin, to the whole blog world! Humble pie is not so tasty to the flesh but it is soothing to the soul. Why? Because it was the right thing to do! I hemmed and hawed over that one comment for three days! I beat myself up, swore off the spoken and written word forever and was ready to take down my blog. Kraig was excited at the possibilities...but then he said, “Honey, this is a lesson. You are learning for those you are teaching and just because you are teaching doesn’t mean you are above stumbling...Amen and ah...Amen! Oh, and by the way, next time, sleep on it or at least let someone else read it before you click ‘reply.’” Okay, I got it, believe me I GOT IT! I had just taught myself this entire series of lessons in one fell swoop! So, lest you think there will be a time when words won’t be an issue, think again!

I guess the point I want to drive home is this: When we start to stray from the facts and start to attack someone’s character we have crossed the line into sin. If I had stayed with the facts at hand, presented scripture and let it speak for itself I would have saved myself alot of trouble. It says in Ephesians 4:31-32a, “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and slander be put away from you with all malice and be KIND one to another!” I was not kind and I had slandered with anger the character of a person I did not know, who is also made in the image of God. I was wrong! Lesson painfully learned! So, I want you to know that I have learned these lessons in writing them and very recently, in living them. And lastly, I want to add, I finally feel that my blog name is totally correct, I am “growing in grace” and it is DEFINITELY one inch at a time!!!

Please weigh in!

Alright ladies, this is how this thing is going to work...the new series that is! I am going to take one topic a week and register a NEW post each day to make it continual from Monday through Friday, somewhat like a daily devotional. I will try to post first thing each morning but if I don’t, bear with me, I will get it up as soon as I can. Also, I only have a few topics that I feel like the Lord is moving me to research so I really would like to hear from you! If you have a topic that you would like to see addressed that is specific to women in our world today or a question you want answered please ask! I don’t pretend to have all the answers but you can rest assured I will find out! As a matter of fact, I LERVE (see previous blog post for definition of LERVE) to research the answers to tough questions! I will keep all inquiries anonymous and confidential. You can email me at scmcbride@msn.com.

As you know, if you read the intro, we will be studying the tongue this coming week. Yikes! I have learned quite a bit and amazingly, or maybe not so amazingly, I have still put my foot in my mouth a few times this week! Once, it was even my whole leg..right Melissa? This just affirms to me that I need this study, again and again!

On a different note, I want to say that I have had feedback from so many of you about the blog and that you have enjoyed it. Others have said that it is an encouragement to them. I want you all to know how very much this means to me! Writing is a very vulnerable thing because you can never predict how you will be perceived. Take that and top it with something as valuable as the word of God and it makes me fearful to write another word! The truth is, I have nothing to give you. I don’t know anything on my own. I am not some bible scholar. As a matter of fact, I read other blogs and other women and I think, “Wow, they said exactly what I wanted to say but better! Why am I even attempting this? There are so many other “authors” that are more studied and much better writers!” The one thing I can’t get away from is my own passion for the Lord and wanting that for you as well. If I can inspire you to study for yourself, to memorize scripture, to know the One we call Lord, then I have succeeded in what I have set out to do. Everyone of us has different backgrounds, scars, strongholds and issues in general. I am not a therapist, I will not even pretend to know the answer for everything that each of you has been through or come from. I only know, “Christ and Him crucified.” I know what He has done for me and like the woman at the well I must tell about the One who has set me free.

So, thank you for your words of encouragement! Any of you who have known me for any length of time know that this is not of me, this is truly the Lord. I will say it over and over again, “He makes me who I am not!”

And She Shall Be Called "Woman" (Introduction)

I have missed you! Have you missed me? Notice how the statement was first then the question? There has to be some kind of rule in formal debate that gives this tactic a name; I call it coercion! So, I have been thinking about a lot of different things to blog about this week but nothing has totally settled with me until now. My best ideas ALWAYS come to me in the shower. I don’t know why but if I had someone taking dictation I could have been famous for all of the world’s problems I have solved while intoxicated by the heavy fragrance of Redken and Dove! Moving along, I have the opportunity on a daily basis through my job and through friendships to have interaction with a lot of women. Not to mention that I am one and am raising one as we speak! It is no secret that I have a passion for women to know the Lord. It is amazing to me that no matter how different our circumstances are that we can still relate on the level of being women. Do you know what I mean? There are just some things that are inherent to being a woman. No matter the color of your skin, your age, your weight, marital status, kids, no kids, education, background, heritage...there are some things that make for level ground with all of us. We all know what it is to want someone to think we are beautiful. We all know what it is to feel desire, love, hurt, betrayal, hopelessness, joy and fear and we all know how those things feel encased in this body known as “woman”.

It almost brings tears to your eyes when you ponder it for a while. The fact that we can relate in many ways that we don’t even realize. We are so prone to see the things that divide us rather than the things that make us the same. This has spurred me on to write a series of blog posts about things that are common denominators for us as women living in 21st century western culture. You may be able to only identify with one or two, maybe more, but my hope is that we can come to a place where we find healing and direction from the Word of Truth in our struggles. I don’t know about you but I hate to feel controlled by something or to feel that a stronghold has gotten the best of me. I can see a glimpse and feel the pull of what God has created me to be and I want it! And even though “now I see in a mirror dimly”, the essence is there. The light that is the Holy Spirit in me pulls me to fight against the strongholds and oppression, “the sin that so easily entangles” and I am zealous for wholeness in Christ!

This is a good place for a disclaimer: Please know the reality that this is not heaven and earth is not our home. We are sojourners and pilgrims that belong to another land. We are also fallen creatures embodied in flesh that will rebel against our Creator until we see Him face to face and are glorified, perfect and sinless. I am not proposing that these posts will bring us a utopia or eradicate all sin from our lives. I still struggle with every single one of these sins from time to time. The difference is the “turnaround time” is much faster the closer I get to the Lord and the more I expose myself to His renewing Word. The difference between a believer and an unbeliever is their “turnaround time” (my phraseology). Believers are quick to repent and turn from their sin. Unbelievers aren’t. Knowing this, I am constantly assessing my own life and asking the Lord to reveal sin so that I might not become comfortable with it, make friends with it and let it become “full grown”. Because “sin when it is full grown brings forth death” (James 1: 15b).

So, if I have peaked your interest you might be wondering about specific topics. Initially, we will deal with the sword..I mean the tongue. Yes, that wonderful thing that tends to give us so much trouble as women! “We all stumble in many ways. But if anyone does not stumble in what she says, she is a perfect woman, able also to bridle her whole body” (James 3:2). The word “bridle” is an equestrian term however, I tend to think more along the lines of mules...like “stubborn as a mule”. That’s me! Anyway, the list that I have so far is not exhaustive or conclusive but I have tried to look first at my own life and then the lives of women around me. I also tried to focus on issues that are not age specific although a few of them may be. I can only write from my perspective and my life experiences are admittedly less than some women my age and certainly less than women who are older than me. However, I do know that the things that are inherent within us as women can be united under the incomparable, changeless, ageless Word of God. No matter what separates us, this unites us! There isn’t a single thing that you or I will ever encounter in our lives that the Word cannot speak into and over with absolute truth!

“The Word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword and pierces through to the division of soul and spirit, joints and marrow and is able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart” (Heb. 4:12).

“All scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for reproof, correction, instruction and training in righteousness” (2Tim 3:16).

So we are going to take our “stuff” to the Lord through His word and get some truth over what ails us! I am so excited aren’t you? This will be an incredible journey and I am excited to see what He reveals to us about Himself to change us forever!

Ordinary You, Extraordinary GOD! Part Two

If you made it through part one and are still interested here is the rest!

There was only ONE apostle Paul, there was only ONE Mary, there was only ONE Moses, Abraham and David. AND, we fail to forget that Mary was not goddess of Nazareth in her time. Can you imagine the ridicule she went through when people started thinking Jesus was crazy for claiming to be God? The Israelites constantly opposed Moses’ authority and Paul gives a whole litany of abuses in 2 Corinthians 11:20-33. God did not place everyone here to be known. He is the only one that even DESERVES to be known! What about Rachel Saint, John Huss and George Mueller? Or John and Betty Stamm? Are plaques going up in their honor? People who went to foreign lands, served in the most remote parts of the earth in heinous conditions and died martyrs deaths? (How’s that for boosting your self-esteem??). Did God love them any less because they were mistreated, abused and obscure? Their momentary light afflictions were producing for them an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison” (2 Cor. 4:17). You know what I think it is? We think that our suffering somehow minimizes God’s greatness - that if God were good and powerful that He would alleviate all of our pain and uncomfortableness. Unfortunately, this is the curse of sin and the very reason why Jesus had to die. But we think, “how can God be great if we suffer?” It is taboo to feel bad about yourself these days but without a deep conviction over sin where is the need for a SAVIOR? If no sin, then what are we being saved from?

So the question begs to be answered, “Who else should be great in our suffering?” What greater thought than knowing that our GOOD God has a purpose in our suffering. I would lose hope if I thought that my afflictions were not producing an eternal weight of glory. That is the beauty of our God! Sovereign not only in the joys of life but also in the sorrows! He is in control and thankfully not subject to every whim of man’s dreams and emotions!

So, how is this affecting our children? We aren’t teaching them to take their place in the world for God’s glory scrubbing toilets. We are teaching them that they are destined for greatness, anything they want to dream up God will give to them if they just believe and anyone who tells them otherwise is a “border bully” or a negative influence! We would say, “Run from these people because they don’t have your best interest in mind! And by the way, God, here is my plan, put your stamp of approval on it so I can be happy!” Because God wants us to be happy...that’s in scripture somewhere right? God created me for my purposes and my happiness because after all achieving our dreams equals happiness! So what happens when my daughter wants to be Miss America so she can make her platform spreading the gospel (which is “of God”) and she doesn’t make it? Who are we setting up to be at fault? Us or God? When my son wants to be CEO of his company in order to run the company as the ultimate example of a “Christian business” and it doesn’t work out for him who will he turn to and point the finger at? Do you see the danger in this? We have made God for our purposes instead of the opposite. The path we are on puts our children in greater danger of apostasy and low self-esteem because when they fail...and they will (if you’ve lived long enough you realize that life is full of disappointments!) where do we send them to find purpose and significance?

Don’t get me wrong, I agree that God has created each of us with gifts and talents to be used for His purpose. There isn’t a lot of conflict in this statement. However, the difference resides in the FOCUS of the statement. Where we have led the generations to come is to focus on the PURPOSE instead of GOD. When we focus on God, “the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace” and that includes our marred self-esteem. Self-loathing is a thing to be viewed in the light of God. We must come face to face with the truth that we are created by Him, for Him and in His image. Even Jesus did not think equality with God was something to be grasped but made Himself of no reputation and came in the likeness of man (Philippians 2:7) and He was God! The way we get around our issues of self is to focus on God not more self. We need to focus on others that have less than and who need the truthful grace of the gospel to set them free. We are drowning because we are overcome with US! God help US to get our minds off of US!

Jesus said, “My kingdom is not of this world!” The word of God is replete with scripture that talks about suffering, trials and an inheritance that is not here. We are not teaching the “take up your cross and follow me” gospel because it doesn’t make us feel important. The cross, an instrument of death and torture. These hard sayings are why “many walked with Him no more” (John 6:66) Jesus said, “you must count the cost if you want to follow me.” I challenge you to read Luke 14:25-33. Does this seem like a metaphor or was Jesus really saying all of these things? HARD SAYINGS....and all true! Why? Because this isn’t heaven and my inheritance is yet to come. If I want to be like my Savior I am a “woman of sorrows acquainted with grief.” How very different from ordinary to extraordinary!

Ordinary You, Extraordinary GOD! Part One

Preface:
I have had major anxiety over this blog post because I am sure it will step on many toes but I am compelled to share because I have more anxiety over the fall out of the “power of positive thinking with a little Jesus on the side” movement that is taking over our music, literature and pulpits. The most disturbing is that our children are the target and they are taking it ALL in! Please read this in the light of the whole context of scripture, the gospel and the life of our Lord Jesus Christ. I love our children so much that I can’t bear to see them walk off a theological cliff into the despair of self! God help us to raise children that think great thoughts of God rather than great thoughts of self!

Post:
Okay, no funny stuff to open up this a.m.! I am disturbed! I am increasingly disturbed at the culture we are creating for our children in the 21st century church. We are telling them that God is there to be their divine dream weaver and that whatever they want to accomplish all they have to do is believe! Pish posh with the ordinary! Who wants to be ordinary? Who wants to be obscure? My eight year old made a profound statement the other day, “Mom, if everyone is extraordinary than no one is extraordinary. Wouldn’t that just make everyone ordinary?” Smart girl that one! If you will allow my soap box for the next few minutes - and I promise this is a VERY unpopular message! There is something inside me, inside most of us that cringes a little at the thought of suffering, trials and being ordinary. It is difficult to say, “I count it all JOY when I fall into various trials or let the lowly brother boast in his exaltation” (James 1: 2,9). In fact, it is counter to our culture. But make no mistake, if we are not actively working against having ourselves indoctrinated into the world then we ARE being indoctrinated by the world! Satan gets in by what we see and what we hear and although he cannot possess us as believers he can deceive and blind our minds. One of the ways he does this today is the very subject of this post:

Namely, that we are disinterested in what God would have for us and overwhelmingly consumed with our own desires. We aren’t so bold as to come right out and phrase it that way but it is evident in our “God speak”. Did you know that Biblegateway.com posted a listing of the most searched verses for 2010 and in the top 19 verses there was not one that mentioned sin? It was not until number 20 which was Romans 3:23 that sin was even mentioned. How telling of our world today! We are taking scriptures like, “God will give you the desires of your heart” out of Psalm 37:4b and making them walk on all fours with no context! Very rarely do we hear, “The first shall be last and the last shall be first” quoted as our life verse! What we are breeding is a culture of disillusioned people who eventually walk away from the Lord because He didn’t make their dreams come true! So, what do we say to these people? You didn’t believe hard enough? You didn’t have faith enough? You didn’t wait long enough? Could it be that the answer does not come because it is not God’s will? Are we submitting to His purposes or are we forcing God to submit to ours?

My passion for this is so great that my fingers are trembling right now! I can speak from the depths of my heart on this because I have been there! In my early thirties (which hasn’t been that long ago for those who are wondering!) I was praying for VERY specific things to come to fruition and I was certain that if I wanted them bad enough and if I prayed with enough faith and I claimed the right scriptures that my dreams would come to pass. The problem? There was no room for another answer! After several months, the answer came and it was clearly, “No!” Not wait, not maybe but NO! Wow! God, you are so not FOR me! You are sitting on your throne with the power to make this happen and you have chosen not to give me what I want!! How’s that for disillusionment? Many people would say that I need to wait for it but in retrospect it wasn’t HIS will and as believers we would not be happy outside of His will - I wonder do we really believe that? I can choose to look at my “dreams that have not come true” in the light of a life full of disappointments and tragedies, a life not worth living because I matter to no one and I am not good enough OR I can choose to look at them as a blessing because God has had His will and way in my life knowing that what He has for me is best. I don’t understand the why’s and how’s and there are many questions I have but as my husband has said to me more times than I can count, “If you are going to serve God you have to be okay with not having all the answers, with being uncomfortable and joyful over many mysteries!”
To be continued...

Meditation..not yoga!

Happy Monday - oxymoron? Maybe. Although, the hubby brought me my coffee in bed AND is taking the kiddos to school while I sit in my office (the bed) with a beautiful view of the horizon. So, today is a Happy Monday although it isn't even 8am yet! I feel compelled all of a sudden to make sure that I blog on a regular basis. Not just because I love to write but because I feel that I need to be consistent however, it seems more difficult now because I am keenly aware of every word I write. I want to be sure that my writing is always seasoned with grace and received in grace. I want to be sure that God is always represented with truth and that I am never speaking out of my own resources - that my friends is DIFFICULT! I believe that God had me in mind when He wrote the Proverb saying, "Where there are many words there is much transgression!" Yep, that's me! Talking has to rank up there with eating and sleeping. Which makes it hard to "be still and know that I am God" or in my case "shut up so I can talk to you my child!" There are definitely times when in the midst of my prayers (doing pretty well on that "resolution" by God's grace) I think to myself.."you sure are talking alot, maybe God might want to say something." Which leads me to realize that I rush in very quickly and deliberately into God's presence. I don't enter with awe and fear, timidity and reverence. I simply start firing off requests and a praise here and there, a few "please forgive me's" and then I'm done..."Amen, thanks God for listening!"

Which brings me to a verse I have been thinking on for a few days: "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight O God, my Strength, my Redeemer" (Psalm 19:14). Because I am a talker I often pray for the words that come out of my mouth and I ask the Lord to make me a better listener..in other words, I pray often that I would learn to be quiet. However, I fall short in living up to my end of the request by actually trying to be quiet. I pray, more often than not, thinking that the Holy Spirit is just going to put supernatural duct tape on my mouth!! Let me say, for the record, that hasn't happened yet - my husband can attest to that! So, the second half of that verse that talks about the meditation of my heart speaks to me! How often do I take time to truly meditate on God, on His Word, on His presence? My time with Him is very one sided - it is all about me! I read, I pray, I memorize..I..I..I. Is it any wonder that at the end of that verse God is labeled as our Strength and our Redeemer? Our strength is not drawn from the Lord by rushing in and rushing out of His presence. Our strength is drawn from a purposeful rest in His presence. A time of being still (and quiet) and KNOWING that He is God. It says in Psalm 49:3, "The meditation of my heart shall give understanding." When we stop long enough to meditate we receive understanding, wisdom and strength. This is a rich promise we can take to the spiritual bank when we stop and SAVOR the beauty of Jesus.

So, today, instead of having a "microwave moment" with the Lord let's try giving Him a few uncontested moments of our attention. "Enter into His gates with thanksgiving and into His courts with praise, be thankful to Him and bless His Name" and then wait on the Lord and receive understanding!

The Scapegoat..

Did you realize that the term scapegoat originated in the Bible? It thrills me to be reading along and see something as specific as the term "scapegoat" used in scripture to give me a concise word-picture of what the Lord is talking about. In my daily devotions I am reading through Leviticus..yes, people, there are applicable things in Leviticus although I will admit it isn't the most exciting book to read! I have tried to remember as I read through parts of the Old Testament that all of it, including those chapter-long genealogies, are the inspired word of God and are placed there for a purpose - not sure what purpose but there nonetheless. Obviously, it was important to God for me to have those out of the very limited amount of His mind we are privvy to!

So, this morning I was reading about the Day of Atonement. If you tend to get that confused with all of the other rituals, feasts and ceremonies, like I do, then here is a quick tutorial for you: The Day of Atonement served as the one day of the year when the High Priest offered a sacrifice to the Lord on behalf of all the people to "atone" for all the sin they had committed during that year. They observed it like a Sabbath day where they rested from their work. The process for the High Priest was to enter the Holy of Holies where the Ark of the Covenant was housed and sprinkle blood from a sin offering on the mercy seat. (Connection here..Jesus is our High Priest who makes atonement for our sins under the new covenant.) The High Priest had a VERY specific list to follow in order to complete the process and if at any point He made a mistake, He would die! Now, don't you think you would be double checking your notes if you were the H.P.? I would be a total nervous wreck and I would definitely make sure that I had my eyes checked before I started reading my notes! If you ever want to get anything right it would be this!! Did you know that they used to tie a long sash onto the waste of the priest so that if he went into the Holy of Holies and died they could drag him out by the sash? Why? Because even going into retrieve the body would place those people in the presence of the Lord since His presence resided in the Holy of Holies hovering over the Ark. Then, those people simply retrieving the body would die as well! Serious business!!

So, you may read that and think what a cruel God that He would kill someone for forgetting the 3rd step! Let me encourage you to look at it in a different light...how serious is God over our sin? Sin separates us from God. God is so Holy that He cannot dwell in the presence of sin. Sin is so detestable to Him that it takes absolute perfection to atone for it, to cover it. There is no room for error when it comes to the forgiveness of sin. There is no room for flippancy and casually entering into His presence. Sin is so serious that it always took life to atone for it and ultimately, it took the absolute perfection of God's own Son to pay for my sin and for yours too...

In the process of sacrificing, the High Priest would select two goats and then cast lots (kind of like a modern day rock, paper, scissors or eenie, meenie, minee-mo but on a divine level??) to see which goat would be sacrificed and which would be the scapegoat. The scapegoat would ultimately represent Jesus Christ. The High Priest would place both of his hands on the head of the goat and confess all of the sins of the sons of Israel and then release the goat into the wilderness outside the camp. In Hebrews 13:10-14 it says that Jesus was crucified outside the camp..outside the walls of Jerusalem. Don't you just love scripture and how it all ties together? Nothing thrills me like finding that God is not random about ANYTHING, even a scapegoat!

So my conclusion? I have asked the Lord to impress upon me the weight of my sin in light of His absolute holiness. We can become flippant and matter-of-fact about our sin and because we live under grace we think that God just turns a blind eye. The reality is that He is still as grieved over sin today as He has always been. Psalm 7:11 says that "God is angry with the wicked EVERY DAY." My prayer is that we will see the weight of sin in light of God's holiness, that we will see His absolute perfection and His COMPLETE worthiness and praise Him for His gift of grace toward us by "demonstrating His love for us in that while we were STILL sinners Christ died for us..the godly for the ungodly (Romans 5:6,8). It only takes one half of one sin for us to need a scapegoat and we all fall down...

Happy New Year!

I am so excited to write this blog post! So excited in fact that there will be a plethora of exclamation points! I feel that the exclamation point may be the single most important punctuation mark in all written language! It helps to emphasize the importance of the important statements not to mention that it points to the very dramatic side of my personality!! Carrying on...I lerve (new slang for something that you love infinitely: for example I lerve Mexican food. But not the same as I LOVE Jesus) new beginnings, it is one of the graces of God that I am most thankful for along with waking up to see that I still have 3 more hours to sleep before the alarm goes off! But seriously, I am so grateful that I only have 12-16 hours in a day to screw up before I can go to bed and start over again! Can anyone sympathize? There have been days when I just couldn't wait for bedtime in order to put that day to rest. Thankfully, those days are few and far between. I love the infinite mercy of a God who repeatedly gives us the ability to start over. It's like one of my FB friends said, "It's not like I have to wait for a new year to make changes, it just feels so fresh and new that way! It's a great trick!" Yes, indeed it is a great "trick" or as I would say, "a great grace." That is the character of a God that is longsuffering. Don't you love that characteristic? He suffers long with us! Oh, how my God has suffered long with me in His mercy toward me! Grace upon grace!

Like many of you I have pondered what things I would like to accomplish this year. I won't call them resolutions because I think the word automatically implies failure :). So, I will call them "things I hope to accomplish if I don't get off track and lose the vision before January 5th" for 2011. I try not to get totally carried away with this even though I could very easily redirect my entire life - it is tempting...Anyway, I have narrowed down my list to three accomplishments for 2011 and I hope to be able to report, if the Lord tarries, in 365 days that I have succeeded in seeing these things to completion: 1) Memorizing the book of James - just so happens to be one of my favorite books in the Bible and I can memorize two verses a week to get me through the entire book in one year. Plus, I feel like memorizing a whole book might lend itself to a more comprehensive thought instead of verses from different places. Thank you Thelma Shupe for the idea (she has memorized the entire book of Ephesians and I am JEALOUS!) 2) Running a marathon - which at this point is going to require much effort since I have maxed out at 10 miles thus far but I feel like I should do it before my body falls apart AND this may be the very thing that sends me straight to the doctor for a new knee, hip or both. Also, I know I am crazy for wanting to do anything for 26.2 miles except for drive and I realize this! 3) Ramp up my prayer life - this means actually praying in terms other than, "Dear Jesus, help me not to kill this child or Jesus take the wheel (and the brakes) because if I have the wheel I might run this person over!" This means making time daily, even if it's 5 minutes before my feet hit the floor in the morning, to commit my way to His will - verbally! Intentionally seeking Him in the quiet, alone, fervently petitioning His throne.

I have to confess that I have eschewed prayer in 2010 and I have no excuse that stands - IT IS SIN! But, if you will grant me, I would like to explain how I fell into this SIN in hopes that I can encourage and exhort you to perseverance in prayer! I have always known that prayer is commanded but I am a pragmatist to a fault. Combine that with a sinful nature and I'm heading no where good! I didn't really see where prayer "changed God's mind" or "got me what I wanted"(I'm just being honest) so I made it an afterthought. This usually manifested itself in a few sentences that were strung together before I fell asleep at night. Believing in the sovereignty of God, I felt like God was going to do what God was going to do and my prayers weren't going to change anything. On top of that, I had some very specific prayers I had prayed over the course of several months back in 2008, 2009 and parts of 2010 that had not been answered as I had prayed so I was angry, hurt and dejected. Of course I knew what the word of TRUTH commanded me to do but I didn't feel like being told "No!" anymore so I just prayed for very generic things: thank you for this, grow Your church, give so and so rest etc; I had gotten "gun shy" about praying specifics because I was afraid of being let down and like a stubborn rebellious child I wanted my way.

I found myself having this conversation with myself: "Stephanie, you ask and do not receive because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your own selfish desires (James 4:3). Yes, but doesn't the word say God will give you the desires of your heart? (Psalm 37:4). Yes, if your desires are in accordance with His will (Psalm 37:5). Well, what about the prayers of a righteous man availeth much?" (James 5:16). And so it goes but I knew deep down that prayer had to be a part of my walk with the Lord because Jesus prayed and He was GOD but He still submitted to the will of His Father in prayer. I tried ignoring it for a while but the Holy Spirit,thankfully, just kept pressing on me until I heard and read three specific things on prayer (I am paraphrasing):
1) If God says "no" it is always because there is a greater "yes" at stake. (Beth Moore)
2) Prayer is the means God uses to accomplish His will. (John MacArthur)
3) God is always doing a thousand other things at one time that we cannot see or do not understand. (John Piper)
4) In James 5:16 the word "effectual" in the KJV is translated "work or working" but it means it in the present tense of "working in the life of the one who is praying."(God)

Lightbulb! (They ought to have an "emoticon" for that in blog world!) You've heard it said that, "prayer changes me?" It is true! Or more accurately - it is TRUTH straight from God's word. Prayer doesn't really have to do with me changing God's mind or making Him see it my way. Prayer actually changes me! Maybe you knew that. Maybe you are a prayer warrior and I hope that you are! I am envious! But the lesson to be learned here is obedience. Just plain obedience whether we understand why or not.

So, maybe prayer is not your struggle but we all have something that needs a "new" beginning. Something that we need to repent of and stop testing God's longsuffering over it! Did you know that God placed dietary restrictions on the Jews first and foremost to teach them obedience? Do you think they understood why it was okay to eat a cow but not a pig? Do you think they understood the dietary difference between sea creatures that had fins and those that didn't? I doubt it! But they were called to "do the thing." So, in 2011 I just want to "do the thing!" I can't understand God. It is arrogant to even think I can when His word tells me, "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts (Isaiah 55:9). But you know what? Praise God that He is God and I am not! Praise God that we serve a God who is not "altogether like us"! He is infinitely superior, holy and just. His standards are high and glorious but He graciously tells us what he requires and then gives us the power to do it by the indwelling Holy Spirit! Amazing! Here's what you do and here is everything you need to accomplish it! How's that for a new beginning? Woo-hoo!

Let me leave you with this: In what area do you need to just "do the thing"? What is it in your life that God wants obedience and a new beginning for? It says in Acts 3:26, "God raised up His Servant (Jesus) and sent Him to BLESS YOU by turning every one of you from your wicked ways."

First prayer of 2011: Lord, grant me grace to pray faithfully because it brings you glory and changes me. Change me, my family and the world through the effectual, fervent prayers of the righteous this year! Bless us indeed, through Jesus, by turning us from our wicked ways. May you be glorified in our hearts and praised for the new beginnings you give us daily in Christ. Thank you for conviction. Thank you for repentance. Thank you for redemption. Thank you for Jesus! Amen.

Go Shopping with God

It is blog season is it not? Time off from work, time in the house...with kids...bored kids...who want to eat everything in sight. Time to look around the house and want to repaint, again, and redecorate, again. It probably actually saves me money to work not just for the simple fact that I am making money but it keeps me from changing things every six months or so. By the time I get home, cook dinner, clean up dishes, make lunches and help with homework I don't really care what color the walls are!! It's been nice though. I had a much needed 2 1/2 hour phone conversation with my best friend. (Don't judge me!) You know what I'm talking about. One of those times when things have been so hectic you haven't had time to catch up so you catch up. I did vacuum the entire house and straighten thoroughly in the process so I was pragmatic if nothing else!

As we were talking we touched on all kinds of things about life: love, staying married, raising kids, loving the Lord, aging, dying, decorating. Isn't it great to have that kind of connection with someone? Someone who accepts you for you - the good, the bad and the ugly. Oh, and there have been some uglies!! I have said some things to her that I wouldn't be caught dead saying to anyone else and she understands. She knows my heart as well as anyone. But Jesus, He knows my heart even better than her because He searches my heart. Sometimes I think there are things I can hide from Him or keep from Him. Sometimes I think if I don't verbalize something or bring it to His attention that He is oblivious. As if I can fool God as easily as I can fool people. But He knows me better than I know me. He knows the words before I say them, the thoughts before I have them and the actions before I do them. He knows the intents of my heart and I cannot be hidden from Him (Hebrews 4:12-13). I want my heart to be pure before Him.

Have you ever tried really hard to change the way you feel about a thing or a person? If you are bitter towards someone can you just stop? If you are angry or jealous or lustful can you just stop?

The longer I live the more I realize I can't just stop! This process of purity and sanctification is not of me! I am not capable of being any different on the inside on my own ability. I can change the outside. I can eat less, exercise more. Smile more, talk less. Be nice to the mean people in holiday traffic. (By the way, if you are wanting to test out "Love your neighbor as yourself," check out your local Target or Sams during Christmas - either will do.) This is what is so amazing about grace. Grace makes us different. God intervenes in our lives BY HIS GRACE and changes us. That is why I can say, "Jesus makes me who I am not!" I am a liar, a thief, a murderer, an adulterer, a gossip, a bitter, envious, jealous, malicious woman and if not for God I would live in those old clothes still. But, I have had a wardrobe change!

What a great idea for us as women! God has changed our wardrobe and given us new clothes! It says in Proverbs 31:25 that he clothes us with strength and dignity. It says in Galatians 3:27 that we are clothed in the righteousness of Christ. New clothes! So, what do we do when we get new clothes? We throw out the old clothes because they no longer fit. They don't look good on us anymore. If I am content wearing old clothes then what need do I have for new ones? This is what confuses most of the world: new clothes one day, old clothes one day. New clothes in this setting, old clothes in that setting. Just like the church at Laodicea - lukewarm. It's as if people are wondering, "who are you anyway?"

Authenticity. Christ-likeness. This is what God calls us to when He saves us. Reflect Christ. Make His glory known. In all settings, to everyone. Why? Because we are wearing His clothes! There's no greater compliment then for someone to want your clothes! But, this is a high calling. Reflect God. Not only that, but all the time! How? Know Him. Study Him. Love Him. Do you love Him? Is He the greatest thing that has ever happened to you? Is He your abundant life and abiding joy? I could say that right now but I might feel otherwise tomorrow. Wait for it. Ask for it. See the trial through. For the testing of your faith produces perseverance and let perseverance have its perfect work that you may be complete lacking nothing (James 1:3-4). AND best of all? People will notice your new outfit!

Look at the Christmas Light

Hey all, this one is especially long - are you surprised? Anyway, I didn't feel like it had the same impact broken into two parts. Enjoy or something like that :)

Do you ever wonder WHY we celebrate Christmas? The pat answer would be, “Cause its Jesus’ birthday!” I truly hope that I don’t get treated on my birthday like Jesus does on His. Seriously, I’d be downright peeved if everyone else in my life got gifts and spent quality time together on my birthday without me! But I’m not God - thank God! Maybe God has “thicker skin” than we do. (Actually, God is Spirit and we have to be careful when attributing human folly to an infinite God who is “other than us” but that’s another blog post). Most of us, whether we admit it or not, have the attitude, “Thanks Jesus for having a birthday so we can have a few days off from work, give some gifts and get some gifts, eat alot of really good food that is bad for us and generally get worked up into a holiday frenzy! I’ll be sure to throw in some church attendance somewhere over the next few weeks, sing a few Christmas carols along with the radio and toss some loose change into the Salvation Army on my way out of Sams!” Yep, nothing like “Us-mas” - I mean Christmas. I know that none of us would really say that out loud. But our actions are talking for us - loud-ly! I’m certainly not reaching for the plank in your eye without being keenly aware of the log in my own eye..it hurts!

Honestly, I’ve been feeling a little let down by all the tradition this year. I’ve done all of the things that I normally do but to no avail. Just call me Ebenezer. Or maybe call me Tired and Broke! I feel intensely, acutely aware of the fact that Christmas is less than two weeks away and I have nothing festive to say. I have prayed and pulled my hair out over what I want to learn for this Christmas (emphasis again on “I” not “Christ”). Alas, nada....naaaadaaa! Why can’t I rest in Christmas? Oxymoron? When was the last time you saw “rest” and “Christmas” in the same sentence? Let me answer that for you, “Never!” When I get to this point I have to ask myself, “What is it that you are trying to accomplish? What do you want to feel?” I guess I just don’t want to go through the motions without the e-motion to back it up. I have the tree, I’ve sung the carols, I’ve bought the presents, I have baked the cookies, (I’ve gained the weight)... but the sense of peace and joy and “cozy contentment” is illusive.

Possibly, I should make my list and check it twice in order to “keep calm and carry on!” New running tights, some black riding boots, a few candles, hot rollers, a running partner to train for a marathon with me (if you wish to purchase this gift please email), some books etc; Won’t I feel better upon opening these gifts? Won’t I feel better as I run warmly in riding boots, holding a candle while I fix my hair and read? Sure, for December 25th and not to present myself too fickle, probably on into December 26th as well. I’m not as shallow as you thought right? Humanity breeds discontentment in the worst way.

This is where I realize I can’t change me. Try as I may to put all things in order, dot all of the i’s and cross all of the t’s - makes no difference. I can go through the traditions and rituals with an unmotivated heart and I am no better than a Pharisee. I’m doing all that I should, all that the world instructs me I should do to have a “Merry Christmas”. So, what gives? Food and presents are good, vacation and time with family is good, sitting in the freezing cold as Mary with my Joseph is good...

Then it hits me, I am taking the world’s answers, the world’s methods, the world’s traditions (which are no doubt my own by now) and applying them to a much bigger problem...my sin. The world cannot fix my sin. The world cannot fix my heart. “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.” (Jeremiah 17:9) God knew this before the foundation of the world. He knew this and so He provided Christmas and by it He gave us the first and best gift that ever has been or ever will be. He fixes our hearts! “Every GOOD and PERFECT gift comes down from the Father of lights in whom there is NO variation or shadow of turning (James 1:17). This is the gift I need at Christmas, this is the gift you need at Christmas. The gift that is good, in fact perfect, and comes down from heaven and changes not! “This is the gift that keeps on givin’” (credit to Christmas Vacation). Indeed it is! Jesus gives to us past the Christmas season, past the New Year, past this life. We say these things very tongue-in-cheek but is there anything I could want or give this year that would satisfy for all eternity? And yet, the gift exists in Christmas. The day is the gift. Christmas finds its origin in Christ and we, you and I, work so hard to take Him out of it. We do everything we can to ignore the manger, to hide “the light that comes into the world.” It says in John 1:5 that the light came into the world and that the darkness could not conquer it. That literally means it could not overcome it. What that means for us is that whether we acknowledge the Light this Christmas doesn’t change the fact that it exists.

So, I implore you to cast aside the focus on the gifts that will perish anyway and focus on the Christmas Light. Every gift we receive this year will, at some point, rust, wear out, break down or simply stop working. They will be replaced with new gifts next year and the year after that but the gift of the gospel never wears out. It never varies, it never turns and it never needs to be altered or fixed. It is still as good and perfect as the day God gave it over 2000 years ago. Can you imagine? GOD gives us a GIFT. What did He choose to give? Millions of dollars? Great health? Fame? No. He gave Himself. What a gift! What a God!
Christmas is the gospel.
Jesus is God.
Believe God.
Celebrate Jesus.

The Woman Driver and Other Scary Things

If you are keeping up, I actually have 2 1/2 trees decorated at this point. The 1/2 tree is a flame-retardant throw back from the late 1960's. I believe it was a gift from Kraig's parents and from the looks of it, it might have been the first tree they owned! You can see straight through to the base and some of the limbs are falling off. This is affectionately known as the "Charlie Brown" tree and we have it in the den as the kids' tree. Lausyn took on the daunting task of decorating it all by herself this year so we have ALL the ornaments front and center. The perfectionist in me wants to change it but the Mom in me doesn't. This is her start at making a home. The woman in her desires to create and nurture and prepare for those around her. It is up to me to fan that flame within her and encourage the way God has made her.

You know, the world has a lot of ideas and opinions about what we should be as women, as wives, as mothers but only our designer knows what we are and how we do it best. The world tries desperately to rob us of the roles that best suit us, the roles that will make us most content. Instead, the world tries to tell us that we should be like men, that we can be like men and in fact, we can be better than men. How discouraging! I don't want to be a man! I don't want the role of provider and protector! I don't want to get up when things go "bump" in the night. I don't want the responsibility of putting food on the table or keeping the lights on. I want to kiss the boo-boos and make the cookies and plan the birthday parties! I want to pick them up from school and read them bedtime stories and teach them God's word...from my living room! The world is a hard place and definitely no friend of grace. The world is not kind to women. As soon as you get a day over 19 or a few pounds over 110, off you go! It's impossible to keep up!

Thank God the more I study His word about my role as a women I realize this is FOR me, not against me! It lifts me up and crowns me with strength, wisdom, grace and beauty. It exhorts the differences and honors the softer side of me. It encourages me in every aspect of life! We shrink back from all that God has created us to be and as God said to Eve, "Your desire will be for your husband." This does not mean sexually. It means that she will desire his authority. She will try to usurp his leadership. GUILTY! How many times do we boot men, not just our husbands, but men in general out of the driver's seat? Then, when we are tired and don't want to drive anymore we can't find a man around who WANTS to drive, why? Because they don't remember how!! Our society is filled with passive men and dominate women and it is broken! I know because I lived it for years! (I know none of you can believe that if you know me!) Let me clarify. Kraig has never been my doormat, praise God, that is one of the things I love about him, he has my respect! But if I thought he wasn't getting things done fast enough then I would definitely walk around him even if I couldn't walk over him! Does that make sense? Can I get an, "Amen?"

You know when we start to get it right? When we realize that men being men and women being women doesn't conflict. When we aren't threatened every time a man tries to lead! Let's let men do what God has called them to do and go a step farther and praise them for it! Let's be content to be women...to have the door opened for us, to have him pursue us, to have him make the final decision for once. You will be amazed at what takes place in your passive, procrastinator of a man! He will start to listen when you have a request, he will step in to shelter you when things are tough and he will thank God for the woman He has created you to be! A wise woman indeed!

As for Lausyn, I am the one mother and wife that the Lord has given her to watch day in and day out. I write this for her. I write this for all of the women who struggle to be daily what God wants us to be to the world, to our families, co-workers, friends, spouses, children and churches. It isn't always easy but it is so rewarding...carry on Sister, carry on!

Attention to Details

Well, one holiday down and one more to go. Is that negative? Usually I am ready for the holidays before school even starts (in August) but this year has been very odd. Just as my son had been abducted by aliens (just for a day and by the way, they brought him back!) and cleaned his room from top to bottom with no prodding from his mother, my husband wants to know what has happened to his wife! When Thanksgiving rolled around and I had no desire to bake, decorate or play Christmas music ad nauseum he knew something was amiss and so did I. I finally managed to get one tree decorated although I was more annoyed than jovial about the whole ordeal! After a few days this really began to bother me because I look forward to time with family and friends and all of the traditions that surround the holidays. I look forward to relishing the Christmas story and pondering what aspect the Lord will show me that is new and fresh to my heart this year. Alas, none of that!

Then, it dawned on me that warfare and attack from our adversary can come in many ways. It says in James 1:2 and 1 Peter 1:6 that our trials are varied. Satan is good at what he does and make no mistake, he knows you and me better than we know ourselves. He knows what works and if the same old thing works every time he is not likely to change his tactics. Being aware of this I have worked hard to gain victory in old areas of defeat. For years I have fallen prey to the same schemes and lies. But, after a while you just get tired of being so predictable!! However, once you gain victory in some areas you tend to get lazy in other areas or you just get prideful. For me it was a little of both. I thought that because I had been successful in some ways that I was invincible. I mean let's face it, there are just some things that don't get to me...do you know what I'm talking about? Anger isn't my thing. Neither is envy. Neither is (fill in the blank). I've dealt with these strongholds so I'm pretty good at this thing, I know what I'm doing! So, so, so very wrong!

I let my guard down and suddenly I'm in it for everything I'm worth. I'm grabbing my sword and trying to regain my footing. I'm struggling to stand firm because I'm angry, I'm envious and I don't love CHRISTMAS for crying out loud!! Let me explain. Just a few months ago I had this rage come over me over everything! I could go from fine to furious in seconds. The rational explanation was hormones. "Hormones and the devil always make me do it," would be a great mantra for me... for most of us. But the problem was I wasn't hormonal! This had gone on for too long to be PMS. Kraig, who is normally very patient and understanding, was growing really tired of living with a time bomb. I even allowed it to spill over onto the kids which will make you feel like a heel in a heartbeat! I hated everyone and everything that included myself! It dawned on me, "This is a heart problem!" My heart is desperately wicked! I had to confess it and stay in the word many times a day to keep laying it down when it reared its head. Thankfully, the Lord was gracious and his word renewed my heart.

Then, no sooner had I gotten through that spell then I was fighting great, green, gigantic episodes of ENVY! Have you ever been envious? It's miserable because you are rarely envious of one thing, it typically spills over to everything! I was even envious that homeless people didn't have to worry about bills and financial obligations (not really but you get the point!) This ran right on the heels of Thanksgiving. Why? Because when you are envious of someone else then you are obviously not THANKFUL for what you have! No surprise there! But, I still had to ask the Lord to heal me and make me grateful. Without him, I'm not, I'm just not and that's the truth! So, once again, I am confessing and bathing my mind in the word and fighting the good fight to stay grateful. You might wonder if I am done...I thought I was too!

Okay, there ought to be some law that Christmas is off limits right? For Pete's sake (I've always wondered who Pete was) it's the most wonderful time of the year right? People, I own three Christmas trees and the only reason I don't own one for every room is because I need money to buy other people presents! So, how did I go from visions of sugar plums to the Grinch? I honestly didn't know myself! Then, out of the blue it hit me - this is warfare and what a brilliant strategy! The crowning of our faith begins at Christmas and the coronation is complete at Easter. If Satan can make us lose our joy over the coming of our King then he is really effective! He had me! No question about it, I had succumb to his tactics. I was busy, I was tired, I was stressed and I was full. So, I struggle to stand up once again and confess and reach for His hand, his Word...

O Lord, help us not to be full on what the world has to offer! Keep us from the busyness of the season that distracts us from the quiet of the manger! Pull our hearts out of the world and back to you. Reach in and fan the flame of excitement over the birth of our Savior, God who became man, that He might sacrifice all and slay sin for all who BELIEVE...

Overwhelming Thankfulness

As we move closer to Thanksgiving I have been contemplating how I would reflect on all I was thankful for this year. I like to think I am thankful every day for something but it is always a good exercise for us as believers to take the time that God has given us around the "holiday of thankfulness" to really see where He has blessed in the last year. I am all about reflection! So, today, the Lord had me totally captive because I was cleaning my house - in my pajamas no less. It seems like getting dressed for something so dirty is pointless so, at 4pm today I was still in my p.j.'s and slippers. (I think Kraig was really glad when I took a shower and changed my clothes. He didn't say it but I think he might have been concerned that I would just climb back in the bed tonight wearing the same thing!) Back to captive audience train of thought: He (the Lord) could have taught the entire O.T. to me today as dirty as my house was - a full six hours to get it looking just right - for the next five minutes. (Moms, nod your head like this!) Having a clean house makes me anxiously euphoric (I know, oxymoron). Euphoric because I heart a clean house but anxious because now I have to be diligent to go behind every body to keep it clean. Thankfully, husband and children are not at slovenly level of living but indeed one step above :)

As I am cleaning I like to listen to podcasts of sermons. (I know I am a freak but that's not news to anyone.) Honestly, it is a good way of learning the Bible and it keeps my mind renewed besides, I enjoy it. So, today I downloaded a series on thankfulness by Allistair Begg (Kraig would prefer that I say he downloaded them for me since I am electronically challenged. Thanks honey!). If you have never heard of Begg before, or even if you have, you can find him at truthforlife.org. He's one of my favorites! In his first sermon on thankfulness he addressed OVERWHELMING thankfulness related to the woman with the alabaster flask.

The sermon began however, talking about two types of thankfulness: natural gratitude and gracious gratitude. Natural gratitude would be the gratitude that we feel from all of the material blessings and benefits from God. This gratitude can be felt by anyone, not just believers because all people experience God's common grace. For example, you don't have to be a believer in order to have food on the table, children or a roof over your head. The second type, gracious gratitude, begins with God, not us or our "things". This gratitude is felt specifically by believers and praises God as the One who is the "giver of all". For example, you thank God for His grace in sending Jesus as our Savior who provides us access to His throne or grants us an advocate with the Father. The point? All of the benefits that we experience as believers come only through Jesus. When He says that He is "the way, the truth and the life, living water, bread of life, the resurrection and the life" He is! (Notice all the references to life?) He is all that we as believers have to be thankful for! He secures it all for us. All grace, all truth, all mercy, all forgiveness, all life, all(fill in the blank). You see, without Jesus, we can experience all of the common graces of life but none of the saving grace. I want the saving grace and I am overwhelming thankful for it! Praise Him!

As Begg ended the sermon he stated that the woman with the alabaster flask offered an overwhelming gift (remember it was worth one year's wage) with overwhelming thankfulness because of overwhelming grace. I had to ask myself, "When was the last time you were overwhelming thankful because of overwhelming grace....and when was the last time you gave an overwhelming gift out of that?" Never. I am challenged anew to spend the next week being focused on the overwhelming gift of God's grace in Jesus for me and contemplating how and what I might give that would be overwhelming, overwhelming in thankfulness.

Live on Purpose...That's all I've got to say!

It's Sunday afternoon, arguably my most favorite time in the week, the kids are being too quiet in their rooms, Kraig is taking a nap and I am sitting by the fireplace in total silence! It almost seems too good to be true and if I were the one taking the nap it might be! It is amazing what Satan will use to try and get you worked up.

Brief Explanation: We have a Thanksgiving dinner at church this afternoon and so, being the designated Betty Crocker of the family (we have a Betty Crocker instead of an Emeril Lagasse, daggone it!) I am responsible for the "covered dishes" we have to bring for our family thus excluding me from a nap. (Side note: What is the origin of the "covered dish" and is there truly anything better that Baptists have come up with to this day?) Anyway, there is nothing worse than being half-way to la-la land when the kitchen timer goes off. With that said, I am envious of my snoring husband while I wait for the oven to pre-heat! However, I am CHOOSING not to make too much noise by accidentally dropping the pan on the floor, turning the blender on turbo or setting off the smoke alarm. This is my definition of an EXCELLENT WIFE :)!!!

I just love how the Lord can inspire with a wonderful illustration to bring me to my case in point: CHOICE or as I like to say, "Intentional or being purposeful." A few weeks ago the Pastor of Grace Church, Mark Fesmire, came and provided the staff at the pregnancy center with a devotional based on the acrostic V.I.M.: vision, intention, means. Since then I have been nearly addicted to the word intention or more specifically intentional. My husband would say that I use this word more than is necessary when talking about everything from peanut butter to makeup (and believe me you have to be intentional with both - but never at the same time - except maybe if you are eating breakfast while doing your makeup - which, by the way, happens in my bathroom alot!) I digress. But the reality is that we have to be intentional in EVERYTHING we do in life in order to glorify and please Him. We live on purpose when we choose and when we choose NOT to choose. Does that make sense?

Something will guide our lives. Either the flesh, leading to death or the Spirit leading to life. But make no mistake, if I am not living in the Spirit then I am living in the flesh. There is no third alternative. I can usually spot when I am living in the flesh because I am highly reactionary and emotional and not in a positive way! When I am living in the Spirit I am thinking and choosing deliberately. Like right now, I am choosing to not allow the jealousy that I feel towards my husband to create a wedge between us. To many women that may sound silly but I have driven a wedge over far less than a nap at times. Anyone else?

I think what I am learning is that everything in the Christian life that keeps us moving forward in sanctification is done with an attitude of intentional perseverance like running a race. Anytime you run for any distance over a few miles there comes a point when you have to push through the desire to stop. My walk is much the same way. It is easier to be reactionary and not to have to choose on purpose but then I suffer consequences later.

So, where am I going with all of this? I am trying to stop for five seconds and ask myself "Does this glorify the Lord?" If I can say, "Yes" then I proceed. If I can't, then I don't. I am trying to be intentional about what I let come out of my mouth, what I let into my mind and what I think on. I am trying to be keenly aware of how my actions, through word and deed, affect other people. Does it show Christ to them? Does it not? Is this helpful or hurtful? Is this moving me toward Jesus or away from Him. I've been working on this for the last three weeks or so. It was hard at first because I was just coming out of a season where the flesh was reigning in all it's ugliness! It was almost like I was having to retrain myself how to think, in fact, it was that very thing! Renewing my mind by the word of God. After three weeks, it has gotten easier because my Spirit is getting stronger. I am more circumspect of the enemy and his attacks lest I fall to temptations which are led away by my own desire, give birth to sin and when it is full grown produces death (James 1:15).

I want to share this so much because it has helped my marriage (case in point - Sun. afternoon nap!), guided me in keeping my mouth shut in a few social situations (miracle of all miracles!) and all around taught me in applying the Word to my life. Isn't this wisdom? Oh my gosh! Answered prayer! It is no coincidence that I am studying Proverbs and learning about living skillfully! Thank you Lord for wisdom that has been earnestly prayed for! Keep me humble in this discovery because You alone are wise and all wisdom comes from You! And...thank you for keeping me from kicking my husband off the couch in the middle of his nap!

It's the Most Wonderful Time...

This song has forever been attributed in my mind (thanks to modern day marketing) not to Christmas but to "back to school". Have you seen that Staples commercial of the Dad wheeling around on the shopping cart throwing in school supplies as his children with long faces drag behind him? Only a parent who has endured a long summer cooped up with school age kids could appreciate the play on words! With that said, the song originally was intended to reference the joy of the holidays. For me, the most wonderful time of the year is autumn. The smell in the air, the varied color palette and the anticipation of the Holidays! I give pause every year to think that even the dying off of the summer season is beautiful. Our God makes all things beautiful in its time!

Looking back on the number of posts from the last year I realize that my writing opportunities have been few and far between over the summer months. I fully anticipated this once wedding season began but thanks be to God for His unspeakable gift - wedding season is OVER!! Don't get me wrong, I love weddings but after 36 weekends of petal pink taffeta bridesmaid dresses in "blush" and "bashful" I am ready to spend some time at home! Creatively speaking, I should be able to contribute far more to my favorite past time here at said blog. I have stated many times before that I have things that roll around in my head for weeks before I get around to writing them down. Sometimes they even fall out, oh cruel fate of aging brain!!

Marriage and family has been an increasing burden as is evident by my most recent series of posts on courtship. Being in crisis pregnancy center ministry we see the direct results of the breakdown of the home. This is Satan's most effective weapon in his arsenal because the ripple effect of a divorce is immeasurable! Not only are the husband and wife scarred but extended families, children, marriages of children, marriages of grandchildren, churches, neighborhoods, friendships and most importantly the glory of God is obscured. One thing that the Lord is teaching me is that God loves marriage because he loves faithfulness and nothing shows faithfulness like the relationship between Christ and the church (which is what our marriages are to mirror). How far above our own concepts of the marriage covenant, how far above societies portrayal, how much higher are his ways than our ways?

In times of tribulation in our marriages this allows us to back away from the intimate hurt to the greater over-arching purpose of why God created us as man and woman. This draws me away from the present sting of an emotional separation with Kraig to the glorious perspective of my joy in showing Christ to an unbelieving world. I can rest peacefully knowing that even this is for my sanctification. I was counseling a young wife the other day and I said to her, "Marriage is for our sanctification. I have learned how to bear the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, patience and self-control, patience and self-control and some patience and self-control...through my marriage. I have learned wisdom and submission and forgiveness and forbearance through my marriage. And I am the better for it!

Which brings me to this conclusion: God knows what He is doing whether we admit it or not. His plan ALWAYS proves best and we cannot improve on His perfection. Try as we may to pass off what is prevalent for what is permissive we cannot give ourselves any better than His way. So today, thank you Lord Jesus for marriage which is your design and your doing! Thank you for making us male and female, husband and wife, one flesh. Thank you for the blessings that bring us joy and for the adversities that bring us much needed sanctification. Thank you for being the perfect example of faithfulness to a sinful people who wouldn't know faithfulness without you! Keep us faithful in our marriages, always forgiving and forbearing, as Christ loves the church for your glory and great Name. Amen and amen.

Courtship Part Three

Now that we have discussed the three "F's" of courtship we can begin to look at the process. I want to interject with two things here: First, this is something that needs to be talked about and assumed with children from a young age. It would be very hard to start this once dating has been allowed but it's not to say that you couldn't. Since courtship is a model to follow in choosing a marriage partner it is good to say up front that if you can't get married then there is no need to court or date or be anything other than friends with everyone! Therefore, middle school and high school students should be focused on academics and enjoying their short-lived youth! Now is not the time to complicate things with the weight of a task as significant as choosing a mate! Kids should be encouraged to go places in groups with people of the opposite sex and not place their affections on one particular person.

Once high school is over and kids begin to plan for the coming adult years they may begin to think about marriage and what life will look like for them in the near future. At this point they undoubtedly have a good idea of what they do and don't like in the opposite sex and are at a point where they can begin a logical process of choosing some one to court.

1. The fist step would be observation. For some this process may be longer than others depending on whether the two people had prior knowledge of one another beforehand. Observation allows two people to watch each other in a group setting to determine personality traits and initial interest in developing a friendship. Often times observation takes place throughout the adolescent and teen years.
2. The second step would be friendship. This continues to take place in a group setting but finds the two people gravitating more to one another and asking more specific questions to ascertain the details of faith, friendship and family. Meeting family is appropriate here but being alone outside of a group setting is not! Referring to yourselves as friends is appropriate however, asking deep personal questions should be left for official courtship. This allows for both people to guard their hearts while still in the friendship phase. Therefore, if you do not move on to official courtship then emotional attachment is not as significant. Friendship can take place in adolescent and teen years as well. This would ultimately take the place of dating for most teens by still allowing them time with people of the opposite sex but without exclusivity and untimely commitments.
3. The third step is acquisition. This is the most important step prior to engagement as you are deliberately choosing to pursue this relationship for the purpose of marriage. This is not the next step into dating or getting to the know the person. It should be decided that once a young man asks permission that he is stating a clear intention to consider this young lady as his choice for a wife. If you are not ready for this step then either continue on in your friendship or seek godly counsel from your parents or pastor if you are unsure. Do not proceed if there is any question at this point! From here some relationships will enter into courtship phase and still end but all questions and uncertainties should be remedied before moving to official courtship.
4. The fourth step would be official courtship which begins by the young man making known his intentions to his family along with the young ladies’ father and asking permission to "court" his family and most specifically his daughter. (This should not be the first time that you are meeting her family which should take place in the friendship phase!!) Upon permission from both families, you would begin an exclusive relationship moving toward marriage within a year. This is the only time frame I deem necessary because the first two steps can take months or years. The importance of timing official courtship through to marriage, in essence, helps "make no provision for the flesh". With exclusive relationships comes heightened temptation. As families, we want to come alongside our children and encourage them in this area to see it through to the finish line! In this step you are getting to know one another on a more personal level, spending quite a bit of time with each other's families and having brief periods of time alone but not at night and not in private settings (ie; the boys apartment or his car!). Physical boundaries are something that should be discussed, agreed upon based on biblical principles and obeyed! This is primarily the young man's responsibility in not placing his future wife into a compromising circumstance. Just as he will be responsible for covering, providing and protecting her in marriage, he begins to take on some of that role now.
5. Engagement. Step five should follow within about six months of the beginning of courtship. Although on paper six months sounds like a short time we all know that when you are in love, six months can be an eternity! From here, things should progress like most other relationships: A ring, permission from the parents and a proposal would be in order, from there wedding plans and pre-marital counseling should begin. It is important to state that increased physical temptation will come along with engagement so it is good to be diligent about guarding yourselves! **I also have to add in here - often parents are stuck on their children not marrying until they finish college in order to keep young marriages from unnecessary strain. I agree, in an ideal situation, however, extended periods of courtship can lead to increased temptation. As parents it is important that we set our kids up to succeed. Part of this will be making sure that we don’t allow courtship to take place too soon in their lives but sometimes you have to consent for the purpose of setting them up for success. The bottom line: you know your children!
6. Marriage! Yeah! You have made it and have taken all of the God-honoring steps to choose and choose wisely! God’s richest blessings will be upon you as you are prepared from the start with a firm foundation to weather the storms of life together!

I hope you enjoyed this and maybe it might give some structure to the obscurity of courtship!

Courtship Part Two

Often times people, kids and adults alike, misconstrue physical feelings as love. Because we are attracted to the person and the person makes us feel good from physical touch we translate all of this positive “feeling” into love. However, this "love" is a very shallow emotion that often times does not endure through the hardships of life. We are teaching our children a very superficial meaning of love. We have taken love that once stood for an unwavering commitment to the Lord and our spouse regardless of feelings or circumstances and traded it in for the crass, dime a dozen, cotton candy and roses of 21st century media. And our divorce rate reflects the shift mainly because we are following our hearts and not our heads! Wow! What a non-romantic I am! Not really, I love romance as much as the next person and what I find more romantic than anything else is an honest to goodness, real life, happy ending! Is there anything sweeter than seeing two people with white hair sharing decades of memories in one smile? We have the rest of our lives for romance but it's best not to cloud the decision of a lifetime with too much goo! Just like a good hairdo, too much goo can mess it up! (I had to throw that in there! A good hair day only runs second to a happy ending!)

So, the soap box leads somewhere, I promise! I am a firm believer that you can determine all you need to know in order to marry someone without every having to date them, kiss them or touch them! Archaic, I know! But, when I sit back and think about all of the things that I admire and respect about Kraig as a husband or all of the reasons why I would choose him again, I typically don’t talk about the physical qualities or the physical attraction. Although I love those things about him our marriage is not built on those things. Also, how many of you would say that sex usually begins with a kiss or a gentle touch? Therein lies the reason for taking physical touch out of the equation - it adds temptation and complications that aren’t necessary! There are many nay sayers on this point. I often have people question, "How then do you determine an initial attraction?" To which I reply, “Has anyone every married someone they weren’t attracted to? Furthermore, isn't attraction first determined by the eyes instead of touch? Hence the saying, "Beauty is in the EYE of the beholder." How many would say that you can determine attraction to someone without having to touch them but through the initial vision of the other person mixed with meaningful conversation or similar interests? The physical attraction is easily attained but finding common ground and like-mindedness proves more difficult although not impossible. All successful relationships have to have common bonds that link two people together. Faith and friendship being the two most important followed closely by family. Which establishes the three “F’s” of courtship.

We start with the most important which is faith. Faith being the first and the cornerstone for every relationship. Each person possessing a personal relationship based on salvation through faith with the Lord Jesus Christ. Both submitting to the Bible as the guide for all things in life including the correct design for marriage and family. Both actively involved in a church that teaches sound doctrine. Pretty simple.

Friendship is the process by which we begin to get to know someone. At an early age, children can begin to distinguish between desirable and undesirable characteristics in their friends. For example, Jack may choose friends that are girls that are interested in sports, are positive and are loyal. These traits can and most often will translate into specific characteristics as a wife. One can assume that she would be active with her children, always looking for the positive in a negative circumstance and be loyal in her relationship with her husband. (I have to interject here that these aren't hard and fast connections but over the years of developing a friendship with someone you can see these traits put to the test over and over.) Without even knowing it, children are beginning to determine what type of person they would look for as a marriage partner.

Lastly, the third "F" is family. Although children are not responsible for the family that they come from they are a product of that family. And although they shouldn't be punished for mistakes they aren't responsible for it is important to take this into consideration ultimately remembering that God is able to make all things new! The importance rests in realizing the type of home that a child is reared in will be significant in how they view life for their own family. "Courting the family" is a must in the process of courtship! Marriage makes two people one flesh and binds two families together. You will be spending a lot of time with your in-laws so you better start now! Getting to know the family will also explain a lot about how a person thinks and acts.

The Obscurity of Courtship

I have had many things over the last month that I have wanted to blog about but alas, no time! However, today, I have nothing (not a misprint) to do! It is a beautiful autumn afternoon, my house is in order, kids are quiet and hubby is off somewhere outside "piddling". Let me follow that tangent for a minute....have you ever noticed that men "piddle"? They walk around aimlessly picking up a stick here and there, looking at this or that without any real focus for getting anything accomplished. For the life of me I couldn't do this! It is not in my nature or in the nature of any woman, especially with children, to expend energy for no purpose!! If I'm going to use up my very precious energy I'm going to be doing something efficiently. Just one of the differences between the way God created men and women, which offers a nice sequeway into the topic I wanted to address in this post and if anyone truly reads this, it might be lengthy so be patient!
The topic that has been on my mind over the last few days is one of Courtship. Courtship being a model for guiding young men and women in choosing a spouse. Kraig and I are firm believers that courtship is the biblical way to approach marriage however, there seems to be very little information out there about the steps of courtship and how to go about the actual process. So, I thought I would map out some rules basically for my own benefit and if it happens to benefit someone else then wonderful!!
I guess to begin I should provide some background information on why we came to this conclusion. It is important to note that Kraig and I dated and we did not follow this for ourselves. I think that is one reason why we are looking to something different for our children. Dating took up a lot of wasted time in our teen years and led to some poor choices overall that we look back on now and regret. The fact that we have a successful marriage now is due to God’s grace ALONE! We did everything we could to mess it up! With marriages ending everyday in divorce, in and out of the church, we wanted to settle the issue long before Landon and Lausyn were interested in the opposite sex. We had to ask ourselves, how do we set them up for success in marriage? No doubt, marriage is hard enough when you have a firm foundation much less when you don’t!

We narrowed down our reasons to three: First, dating is never mentioned in the bible. Dating is something that our society has developed to allow two adolescents with adult bodies and adult hormones the ability to feel like adults by being alone on "dates" thereby opening the door for dangerous temptation. Isn't this really unfair to our children? As parents we still bear the responsibility of instructing, guiding and safeguarding our children until they are adults and the definition of adulthood will be different for each child. For some it might be 18, others 20 and still others 22 or older. The fact of the matter is that we never stop being parents to our children even after they begin families of their own - we just parent in different ways. The second reason why we have chosen courtship rests on the high rate of failure for marriage within our society today. Studies confirm that in cultures where arranged marriage and courtship is prevalent that the divorce rate is extremely low and people contend that they are satisfied, even happy within their marriages. Lastly, courtship takes the emphasis off of the physical and emotional aspect of choosing a spouse and places it on the logical process of choosing and choosing well.
To be continued...

To Know Him is to Love Him

This entry has been stirring in me for almost a month now. I wouldn't bore you with the details of all that has happened in the last three weeks but I will say that God teaches me something almost everyday. I feel like at times that I need to walk around with a notepad and pen so that I don't forget some of the things that He brings to mind. It's sad to say but my memory is getting a little less than picture perfect these days. It's all I can do to remember my name and what I had for breakfast. That's why I have developed the habit (much to my husband's chagrin) of making lists and lists and more lists. In fact, I think sticky notes are provision from God just for me! If I was the next contestant on Survivor and only had one item to take...I would take my Bible of course (what God fearing Christian woman wouldn't say that??) but it would be filled with sticky notes and (maybe some soap)! Okay, thanks for humoring me. Back to the subject.

So, I have been very discouraged at times over the last few weeks at what I see in the world and in the church. I shouldn't be surprised at what I see in the world but I'm still amazed at the total depravity of who we all could be without Jesus Christ. However, I guess I expect more from the church especially when the word of God is being proclaimed and is so accessible to us in this day and age. I look around and I see two types of people, the dead and the emotional. In fact, in the parable of the soils these two types are mentioned. The first kind, the dead, are just that - dead. They have no life, no light, no passion - they are just going through the motions. The second kind, the emotional, are the very opposite. They are lively, passionate, zealous, exuberant for a time - they are riding the wave of feelings up and down, up and down. Neither of these two have any root. They have no firm foundation.

We don't like to talk about perseverance in our world. We don't want to hear that the road is narrow and few find it. We don't want to hear that as Spurgeon said, "Most of the Christian life is drudgery." Most people that consider themselves Christians today would say that as heresy! God wants my good, my best, my happiness. God is waiting to show me the next "big thing" and then I'm on my way, doing what I was created to do - which almost always is what I want to do and will make me successful, wealthy and recognized. God's plan is never that I should suffer, live in obscurity or do something I don't want to do. I ask, "Is that biblical?" I ask, "Which most resembles the life of Christ?" The life we are called to follow?

I say all of this and condemn myself at the same time but the thing I have learned? The more I get to know the God I serve, the more I love the God I serve. And then, the law that I was trying desperately to adhere to is not so hard to follow after all because I want to please the one who created the Law for my good and for His glory. Does that make sense? We serve a vicious cycle of trying to obey the law with our flesh but inside our hearts are far from God so when we fail we are plagued with the guilt of our failure. "This is impossible!" Other people, more spiritual than I am can do this but I can't be obedient - it just isn't in me!" You are right! It isn't in you but as believers if the Spirit of God is in you then it is in you. But, it doesn't stop there because you must KNOW the God you serve in order to LOVE the God you serve. We don't love our spouses or children or friends or (fill in the blank) without knowing them. We must know our God, we are commanded to know our God. Then, we LOVE Him and obedience to the Law is our reasonable service, our joy and crown. Why? Because it pleases the One we love.

The Taste of Victory

Oh my goodness! I cannot hardly believe it has been so long since I have written. I did say at the very beginning that summertime would be difficult for the blog and indeed I was correct! It has been a busy but quick summer and school starts next week - can you believe it? I always look forward to the structure of the school year and by the time the first day comes around I am READY - can all of the Mom's out there nod your heads like this?? And truthfully, the kids are ready too they just don't know it yet.

Just this past weekend we wrapped up the summer swim season with the City "A" meet. This is the championship meet where all the top swimmers in the city who have qualifying times come together to compete for the title of "City Champs". Although this is a long way from being the Olympics, to a bunch of kids in central Virginia this is just as important.

My son, Landon, worked so hard this year to make all of his "A" times and he was successful in three of his strongest events. We were very proud of him and the determination that he but forth to set a and goal and go for it! The meet usually comes down to the final relays and so the crowd around the pool is 10 people deep for the last six or seven events. This year the meet was held at an indoor facility so the space around the pool was crowded, humid and loud!

As I stood there cheering for my son and his teammates I had chills up and down my arms and tears in my eyes over the pure excitement of the moment. It was in that moment that I stopped yelling and with baited breath waited to see who would win - it was close, very close. In my silence the roar of the crowd seemed even more deafening and there was an electricity in the air that was almost palpable. Within my heart I thanked the Lord for the privilege of being able to experience the emotion of competition but mainly that of VICTORY. Then, the Holy Spirit reminded me that we will experience that victory again when this life is over. When Jesus comes back on His white horse wearing a robe dipped in blood and His name "King of Kings and Lord of Lords" written on His thigh he will defeat Satan and we as His people will know victory! Can you imagine cheering with the fierceness of knowing that our arch enemy, the great deceiver is going to be conquered? More important than any other victory that you or I have ever known! Life and death, our life, our death secured by THE Victor, Jesus Christ, who tasted death and overcame the grave! What a foretaste of glory divine, faith is the victory, oh, glorious victory that overcomes the world! And through Him we are more than conquerors, we are the victors and we win!! We win beloved, we win!! What a refreshing thought for our weary souls in the midst of the day-to-day burdens of life. Thank You Jesus, thank You!

For the Joy of All Nations

I am at a specific time in my life where I can feel within my spirit the Lord moving for His glory. I don't know exactly how to explain it other than there is a constant excitement to life. I am excited to step back and watch God work and be part of His plan and I am beginning to understand things in a way that I never have before...vague statements, hard to comprehend.

I believe for the first time I am starting to see how I fit into God's divine purpose for His church, this world and ultimately His glory. It almost seems astonishing to say that in a world that is plagued with determining God's will for our lives. We are constantly waiting on the "big plan" to be revealed and so we live waiting for the next step never assuming that the step we are on is part of the plan. I know this all too well because I lived it for years. "God when will I be able to get in on the game? What is my part in all of this? Where do I fit in to your grand scheme?" It is the worst kind of unsettled cycle and I believe it is one of the best tools that the enemy uses to keep us from being effective NOW... and then now turns into the rest of our lives...waiting on the next big thing...waiting on what God has for me.

Why? Because dishes and diapers and homework and bills don't seem like a very important part of God's grand design for my life or anyone else's for that matter! Because if it isn't big then it isn't of Him and I can't be effective if I'm not in front of thousands of people. Obscurity - that can't be from God can it? "Isn't that Joseph's son?" Isn't that the kid Jesus who was our neighbor and made our kitchen table? "What good ever came from Nazareth?" Born in a cave among the noise and waste of animals came the Savior of this world, God in human flesh, obscured from the sight of all the ones who were watching, waiting for something greater....

God has placed you and me where we are "for such a time as this". I have spheres of influence that he means for me to be impacting for His glory every day and so do you. First, to my family, namely my husband and children. They are my first "mission field". Second, to those within my church family. I am serving the Lord in a Christ-exalting, bible teaching church and there are women and children that I can minister to in that body of believers. Lastly, my places of employment are filled with people who need to hear the beautiful news of the gospel of Jesus. This is how God works! He is a missional God in that he uses us WHERE WE ARE to further the gospel and bring glory to His name. The people that we minister to here are no less important to Him than the people in the 1040 window or in Darfur or Algeria.

Then, this amazing cycle begins because the people that we impact and disciple begin to impact and disciple those in their spheres of influence. The point is that where we are and what we do cannot be a "flash in the pan". We witness through our words but more importantly through the testimony of our lives and our lives cannot be witnessed in a day or a week or maybe even a month. We labor with and serve and love the lost and the beauty of Christ as our treasure shines forth in our lives through time. I didn't know my husband or his heart in a week after meeting him but after 11 years I know him well. The same applies to our relationship with others. And this will require us to be transparent and vulnerable at times.

A slow, steady course of living our lives one day at a time right where the Lord has us for the purpose of His glory in us spilling over into those around us. Sanctification. For His Name's Sake. Simple. Obscure. Amazing.