The Eternality of God and the Death of the Saints: Lesson Four

7 For we are brought to an end by your anger;
by your wrath we are dismayed.
8 You have set our iniquities before you,
our secret sins in the light of your presence.
9 For all our days pass away under your wrath;
we bring our years to an end like a sigh.
10 The years of our life are seventy,
or even by reason of strength eighty;
yet their span is but toil and trouble;
they are soon gone, and we fly away.

Thus far, in our series, we have found solace in the knowledge that God is our dwelling place and He never changes. Our last lesson showed us the sobering reality of what we face as humans whose lives are brief and fleeting. Thankfully, we serve a God who is everlasting and ordains all of our days! I hope you were challenged to think about where your security truly lies: in the sinking sand of temporal things or in the firm foundation of an eternal God.

In this lesson, we will answer the question, “Why do we die?” Even though we understand death is a reality for each of us, often times, we don’t fully comprehend the reason that death reigns. No mortal has ever escaped death. Even those who have claimed miraculous healings, or out of body experiences have all faced the same fate in the end. Even Jesus, as the God-man faced death.

BUT praise God, He was resurrected and lives again that we might have life in Him. This doesn’t mean we escape physical death but it does mean that, if we are believers, we face it in victory. 1 Corinthians 15:54-55, “When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, THEN shall come to pass the saying that is written:“Death is swallowed up in victory.”“O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?” Jared Wilson states, “Dying is not the worst thing that can happen to you. Dying after you die is far worse.”

As we shift into v.7-10, the outlook for us gets even more grim. Hang in there, I promise that the series will end well! Remember when I said that God’s wounds us in order to heal us? His wounds are always faithful. And He never holds back truth from us. In this section, Moses is articulating our sin and guilt before the Lord.

Part of our fear of death is our fear of the unknown. However, part of the reason, is the knowledge of our guilt before the Lord. We know we are guilty and deserving of death. We know in the deep recesses of our heart that grace is not something we deserve and is counter to how we view justice, punishment, sin and death. We know that there are things we should have done and things we shouldn’t have done.
In writing verse 7, Moses understands that the sentence of death is right for sinners in the presence of a Holy God. Romans 6:23a states accurately, “the wages of sin is death.” Even though as believers God’s wrath toward us is satisfied in Christ our sentence in this life is the same - we still die under the curse that took place way back in Genesis, God’s universal punishment of sin declared in the garden.

And not only are we deserving of death but all that we do that makes us sinners, all of our sin is in full view of God. Which is what he says in verse 8. Nothing is hidden from Him. Our sins are ever before Him. Did you catch the adjective he uses for sin in the second part of the verse? He says, “secret” sins. Yes, even our secret sins are brought to light.

When I was younger, if I wanted to get away with something I usually attempted to hide under the cover of night. There is a reason they call them “Night clubs” instead of “Day clubs”. People lose their inhibitions when they assume they are hidden or cannot be seen by others. There is something about the night that encourages sin.

There are many passages of scripture that talk about deeds that are done in evil take place in darkness. However, scripture is also clear that NOTHING is hidden from the Lord, “For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light” (Luke 8:17). So when your Mama said to you, like mine said to me, “I may not know but Jesus knows,” she was right! Bottom line: we know we are guilty. If there were no guilt there would be no fear. But guilt is real and therefore, fear persists.

Now that verses seven and eight have laid out the just cause for why we die, verses nine and ten declare our sentence: a brief, troublesome, hard life under the wrath of God that ends in death. Even if we live 70 or 80 years, which by most accounts is a long life, our days are toil and trouble and end quickly.

Like I said before, grim, very grim. We abide under the just wrath of a holy God, our sin is ever before Him and our sentence is swift and sure. If that was the end of the story I wouldn’t get out of bed in the morning. And the truth is, there are millions perhaps billions of people alive today that live with this as the end of their story! And if you are not in Christ, if you have not trusted Jesus as Lord and Savior, your story is the same. Beloved, we are not saved from Satan, we are saved by God from the wrath of God (Rom. 5:9). Through the “good news”, the gospel, God has provided a way for sinners, and it is indeed good news!

The gospel is a message about us. We are all desperate sinners, born in sin and destined for a just punishment for our sin (Rom. 3:23; Ps. 51:5; Rom. 6:23). The gospel is a message about God. God’s righteousness requires payment for sin. Otherwise, He would not be just and He would not be good. The gospel is a message about Jesus. The Son of God who became man to die as payment to His Father for the sin of those who believe in His name (2 Cor. 5:21;Rom. 5:6-8). That is the gospel. It is for you and it is for me.

If you find yourself reading these lessons and the fear of death is not undergirded by the hope of your faith in Jesus Christ I pray that you will find that assurance today. “For the wages of sin IS death BUT the FREE GIFT of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom.6:23).

The Eternality of God and the Death of the Saints: Lesson Three

3 You return man to dust
and say, “Return, O children of man!”
4 For a thousand years in your sight
are but as yesterday when it is past,
or as a watch in the night.
5 You sweep them away as with a flood; they are like a dream,
like grass that is renewed in the morning:
6 in the morning it flourishes and is renewed;
in the evening it fades and withers.

In our last lesson we got a big view of God. Starting with a big God will always end in right thinking and victorious living. Faith is built on being as Robert Dick Wilson says, a “big God-er”. Today, we will begin our descent from the glorious to the infamous, the divine to the human, by lowering our gaze to man.

We pick up in verse three, where Moses begins to write on his view of man. He states, “You return man to dust.” He comes off of His glorious doxology about the divine nature of God and immediately plunges us into despair by pointing out the contrast between the everlasting God and the frailty of man. God is everlasting and man returns to dust. Previously, we established that God is eternal and here, we learn that God is also sovereign. The “You” he is talking about is God, “You return man to dust.” This statement acknowledges the sovereignty of God over man’s life and death.

Acts 17:24-28 states: “The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything. And He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and the boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God, and perhaps feel their way toward Him and find Him. Yet he is actually not far from each one of us, for “‘In Him we live and move and have our being.

Not only is God everlasting but He also ordains all of man’s days. Our time, the dash, is in His hands and by ordaining our days, He controls the DOB and the DOD as well. All of it, beginning, end and everything in between belongs to Him.

Then, in v. 4-6, Moses fleshes out his comparison between God and man. Beginning in v. 4 God’s view of time is long-sighted, rooted in the eternal present. There is no time with God. Moses attempts to illustrate this by a large number, a thousand years. He states that a thousand years is as yesterday. Or a watch in the night. Typically, a night watch, in biblical times consisted of three hours in the middle of the night. Nights were divided into four watches starting at 6pm, sundown and running until dawn at 6am. How quickly does three hours pass? How much faster do those three hours pass while you are asleep? These illustrations represent the eons of time with our God.

But in v. 5-6, Moses uses quick bursts of events and time to illustrate man: floods, dreams, morning to evening. A meteorologist might talk about flash flooding as a result of heavy rains. However, in the South, we call flash floods “gullie-washers” because the water comes on with intensity, floods the gullies and then recedes almost as quickly as it came. The rate at which the large amount of water hits the earth overwhelms the ground and the process of saturation isn’t fast enough to keep up and water overflows into the lower lying areas or gullies.

Or think about dreams. How many of you remember now what you dreamed last night or even the night before? I can hardly remember what I had for breakfast much less what I dreamed about last night! And think about how fast his day has come and gone. How rapidly did morning turn to evening? Scripture is filled with talk about the brevity of man’s life, calling it a mist, a vapor, grass or a fading flower. Here today and gone tomorrow.

Man is transient and everything man does or chases after, is the same. There is no security in the transient. As humans we search for security because we crave it. We crave a firm foundation because we look around us and realize that everything is sinking sand. We attempt to find it in our finances. We attempt to find it in our health. We attempt to find it in our relationships or our jobs or our future. But until we place our security, our hope, in the One who is an Eternal, Solid Rock, we will always be chasing the security of sinking sand.

Ecclesiastes calls this “vanity” or “foolishness”. The entire second chapter of Ecclesiastes documents Solomon’s attempt to find his security in all life has to offer from self-indulgence, living wisely and hard work. Listed below are his conclusions at the end of each attempt at temporal security:

Self-indulgence: 2:9-11, “So I became great and surpassed all who were before me in Jerusalem. Also my wisdom remained with me. And whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I kept my heart from no pleasure, for my heart found pleasure in all my toil, and this was my reward for all my toil. Then I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun.”

Living Wisely: 2:16-17, “For of the wise as of the fool there is no enduring remembrance, seeing that in the days to come all will have been long forgotten. How the wise dies just like the fool! So I hated life, because what is done under the sun was grievous to me, for all is vanity and a striving after wind.”

Hard Work: 2:22-23, “What has a man from all the toil and striving of heart with which he toils beneath the sun? For all his days are full of sorrow, and his work is a vexation. Even in the night his heart does not rest. This also is vanity.”
In the end, Solomon comes to a very astute conclusion, “There is nothing better for a person than that he should eat and drink and find enjoyment in his toil. This also, I saw, is from the hand of God, for apart from him who can eat or who can have enjoyment? For to the one who pleases him God has given wisdom and knowledge and joy, but to the sinner he has given the business of gathering and collecting, only to give to one who pleases God” (Eccl. 2:24-26).

Man’s life and death is depressing, empty and fleeting without the Lord. Our only hope is to place our security in the eternal and see ourselves through the lens of God. We must find our purpose for now and for then in Him. A life that is built of the solidarity of Christ alone finds peace. In the parable of the wise man versus the foolish man in Matthew 7:24-26, the same circumstances plagued both men “the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house”. The difference in the outcome was based on the foundation. The foolish man’s house fell because it had been built on the sand. The wise man’s house, “did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.”

As we close today, pause and think about the brevity of life. I just received word that my dear friend’s Dad, the one mentioned in my introduction, has just passed away. Just like that. The dash is over. Brief, very brief. Where is your faith? Where do you place your security? Is it in the hands of a God who lives outside of time or in the hands of man who is here today and gone tomorrow? The hymn writer Edward Mote wrote so eloquently, “My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean on Jesus name. On Christ the Solid Rock I stand all other ground is sinking sand. All other ground is sinking sand.”

The Eternality of God and the Death of the Saints: Lesson Two

Psalm 90
A Prayer of Moses, the man of God.

1 Lord, you have been our dwelling place
in all generations.
2 Before the mountains were brought forth,
or ever you had formed the earth and the world,
from everlasting to everlasting you are God.


I hope you took the time to read Psalm 90 and meditate on the words written there. The word of God is so nourishing to our souls! Let’s pick up where we left off and begin our study of scripture beginning in verse one. Remember, our author Moses, is writing during the 38 years of wilderness wanderings, after the curse of death has been handed down to the first generation.

Moses starts out this Psalm, surrounded by the reality of the human condition: man’s rebellion against God and God’s punishment of sin through death; and he starts out with a big view of God. Beloved, we have to have a greater view of God then we do of man. We have to have a greater view of God than we do of man’s sinful condition in order to see ANYTHING accurately. Otherwise, man and his problems become big and God becomes very small.

Moses knew this so He started with God and He says, “You have been our dwelling place.” Let’s think about this statement in light of what we already know: the Israelites didn’t have a dwelling place in the desert. They dwelt in tents. They had no permanent home under Moses. They were wilderness wanderers. But Moses acknowledges that though they are sojourners, they have had a dwelling place in God.

It was easy for the Israelites to remember they were sojourners because they lived in tents and picked up manna every day. They never got to a point where they moved from a small apartment to a house that they owned. They never replaced manna with 4 course meals and modern day conveniences. They lived in the wilderness and they were acutely aware of their surroundings. It is harder for us to keep a sojourning perspective in mind, especially in America.

But scripture is clear that we too are sojourners. 1 Peter 2:11 calls us sojourners and even though we are comfortable here, this is not our home. Sometimes I think that my level of comfort is a disadvantage to keeping my mindset one of longing for a “better country.” It wasn’t hard for Abraham to long for a better country as a nomad. It is hard for us to long for a better country in middle class America where we hold the top percentage of the world’s wealth.

But Moses goes on to add in a qualifier, “in all generations.” He states that from Adam and Eve, to the generation that will die in the desert, to the generation that will inherit the Promised Land, to us, God has been our dwelling place. Literally our place of refuge. You think about what images come to your mind when you think of a place of refuge. Is it a safe place? Is it a comfortable place? Is it a peaceful place? God Himself, our refuge. He is our dwelling place.

I like my home. Even after a week’s vacation at the beach I still love coming home. My home, with my family in it, is my refuge. It is safe, comfortable, peaceful and full of all the things I love. When I’ve had a bad day or even on the best days I look forward to coming home. We should see the Lord in this way.

Then Moses goes on to say in v.2, “before”. Let’s pause here. Before begins that clock ticking. It sets our minds in a place that is bound by time and reminds us that time exists for us but it also reminds us there was a time BEFORE time began. He says, “Before the mountains, earth and the world were formed.” He starts with the tangible and stretches to the intangible: the mountains, the earth, the world. He acknowledges God as author of Creation. He goes on to say, “from everlasting to everlasting you ARE God.”

That word everlasting means: the vanishing point, or time that is out of mind. Literally, from forever in both directions. John explains this concept perfectly when he writes in Revelation of the Lord, “I am the Alpha and the Omega”, “the first and the last”. These are the first statements made about God at the very beginning of the book of Revelation.

In the first chapter of Revelation, after John has given his greeting, the first quotation begins in v.8. It is important to note things like quotations in order to gain greater understanding into a passage of scripture. This indicates to us that someone is speaking and in this verse, that person is God. And what does God say about Himself? He states, “I am the Alpha and the Omega, who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty.” So, God confirms by His own words that He is from everlasting to everlasting.

However, what I find even more awesome is what happens later on in verse 17 of chapter one. At this point, John has been confronted with a vision of Jesus and he struggles to describe what he sees. He can only use the word “like” to convey his vision because what he sees is clearly “unlike” anything else he has ever seen. And his immediate reaction is to fall down at His feet as dead.

Up to this point, Jesus has not said anything, but in verse 17 He opens His mouth and the very first thing He says is this: “Fear not, I am the first and the last.” Beloved, does this give you chills like it does me? God has spoken twice in the first chapter of Revelation and He states the exact same thing about Himself both times! Basically, I am from everlasting to everlasting!
It is always very important for us to take note when God talks about Himself. We are wise to be attentive to what He says. And surely, what He says FIRST about Himself. The last book of scripture that deals with last things and God states first, “I am the BEGINNING and I am the END.” Yet Moses writes all of this in Psalm 90 before Revelation was even written. He knows that, “You are God.” Before creation, You ARE - present tense - God. Before creation AND after the end of time, You ARE God.

You see, beloved, God never changes. The same God that Moses served in the wilderness is the same God John encountered in Revelation and He is the same God you and I worship today. He is our dwelling place, in all generations, our refuge and our home. And, for the believer, He always will be. From everlasting to everlasting, You ARE God. When our dash is over, if our dwelling place is the Lord, where we reside never changes. We may be absent from the body but our spirit continually abides in Him.

The Eternality of God and the Death of the Saints: Lesson One

Welcome back! I hope you enjoyed the introduction to this blog series! Our focal passage for this series is Psalm 90. I strongly encourage you to read it in its entirety several times and familiarize yourself with the passage. Engaging the scripture yourself will serve to aid you in a deeper, long term understanding of the passage. Plus your participation will help you get more out of each lesson.

As we discussed yesterday, death is a sobering reality. Thankfully, we serve a God who does not avoid the tough subjects but informs us in His word. He wounds us in order to heal us. He rattles our chains to cause us to stand and give pause to what will inevitably come for us all.

Let me give full disclosure to the fact that this is not a topic we would willingly search out to read about or study. In fact, this is not a topic I would willingly search out to teach. But, I promise I wasn’t having a bad day when I determined to write this lesson. I chose it because as believers we need to be informed of the full counsel of scripture regardless of how difficult the subject. Death, if viewed through the wrong lens, the lens of humanity, is morbid and depressing. But if viewed through the right lens, the lens of the Eternality of God, it brings joy and peace.

Ironically, I have experienced more peace writing this lesson then any other lesson I can remember. Not just peace about death but peace about life. Beloved, it is GOOD for us to think about death. It is humbling and scripture even says it is WISE for us to think about death. In our focal passage, the Psalmist says, “Teach me to number my days that I may have a heart of wisdom.” Let’s enter each lesson with minds that are sharp and hearts that are prepared to be informed about death from the TRUTH of the word of God!

Before we begin our walk in the scriptures let’s get acquainted with the author, the setting and the original subjects. It might say in the heading of your Bible that this is a Psalm of Moses. This was a new discovery for me. I knew that David and Asaph were regular authors of the Psalms but it never occurred to me that Moses was the author of anything past the Pentateuch.

The setting for this Psalm is sometime in the 38 years of wilderness dwelling on the edge of Canaan. This 38 years was purposed as a season of death while the 2nd generation waited for the first generation of Israelites to die. How sobering is this? For two years, after the Exodus, the Israelites made their way from Egypt to the edge of the Jordan bordering the “PROMISED” Land and they get there only to fall back into a pattern of fear and unbelief.

In Numbers 13, Moses sends 12 spies into the land to bring back word about Canaan. However, upon hearing about the number and size of the inhabitants, the people began complaining out of fear. Disgruntled, unbelieving hearts sinfully railed against Moses and the Lord, “If only we had died in Egypt! If only we had died here in the wilderness! God, have you brought us into this land only for us to die?
And so, God gave them what they wanted by cursing everyone over the age of 20, minus two, Joshua and Caleb, to die in the wilderness rather than enter the land. This took 38 years! 38 continuous years of death. Daily, scores of people died. It is estimated that based on the sheer number of people that often hundreds of deaths took place each day.

Do you think death was on their minds? Do you think they were thinking about eternity and life after their DOD? Every. Single. Day. How do you live as one of the ones over 20 (probably most of you reading this lesson) from one day to the next and not obsess over death? I’m sure some of them did. I’m sure every time they got a cough or felt a pain they began to panic.

They didn’t know when their time was up. Just like us. They knew they were going to die in the wilderness but God had not told them it was going to take 38 years. The timeframe was hidden from them. We know it, in hindsight, but they did not. If you were 20 you could have assumed, “Ok, I’m not making it into the promised land. I know I am dying in the desert but it won’t be today.” The sobering reality was that everyone who was 20 would be dead by the age of 58.

So, they knew they were going to die AND to compound the anxiety of the situation, they were watching other people die. People their own age, people younger, people older. I think they had to quickly come to terms with death and what occurred after death in order to be able to face the time they had alive with some semblance of normalcy. The truth is, we are really no different. We know we are going to die and we are touched by death around us while we live. Yet, our society and even the church has swept the subject of death under the rug. We have sanitized death. We don’t want to think about it. We want to avoid it as if death is for another day, another time and not for now, not for us.

And when we do think about it, we think about it from a perspective of fear. We teach the gospel to our children, making sure they are saved from hell and then we go about our lives avoiding the thought of death until a diagnosis makes it unavoidable any longer. And even at those times we often bury ourselves in the research for a cure rather than preparing ourselves for the fate that comes to all of us. I firmly believe this is why we fear death, why we deem it as unpleasant and depressing, because we don’t think about it and when we do, we don’t think rightly about it.

Which is why we are studying the eternality of God through the lens of the mortality of man. Tomorrow we will begin our look into Psalm 90 verse by verse. The following is the outline we for our lesson:

V.1-6 God’s eternality: God is eternal vs. Man’s mortality: Man is not
V. 7-10 Sin brings death: Why do we die?
V. 11-17 Moses’ plea: How do we live?

We will discover the truth about God’s eternality, man’s mortality, why death is imminent and how that affects our living the “dash”. Beloved, let’s allow the Israelites experience to shape us. By the truth of God’s word, we are informed and we are healed. Take some time today to meditate on death. Your death and the the death of those around you. What emotions surround your thoughts? Do you have a theology on death or just an ideology? Is it based on scripture? Take these things to the Lord in prayer and ask that He show you, by His grace, the wisdom of numbering your days.

The Eternality of God & the Death of the Saints: Introduction

In my most recent Biblestudy, I taught a lesson on death and dying. Contrary to my hesitations going into the lesson, I received a great deal of positive feedback which made me think this might be a much needed blog series. It, indeed, counseled my heart as I wrote it. That, coupled with the fact that at this moment our family knows of at least 7 people we are praying for that have received a recent cancer diagnosis and, I have a dear friend who is on the verge of losing her Dad. In fact, by the time the last of this series is published he will most likely have passed away. All of these things have continued to press in on the fact that death is a reality but we are rarely prepared to face it, for ourselves or our loved ones.

Death isn’t something most of us spend time pondering. We would rather surround ourselves with levity and pleasure and leave death for another day. Until it comes to call. The truth is, we don’t want to go out of our way to think about death but there is a strong pull within us to have answers to life’s most inevitable questions. There is assurance in pondering and settling within our souls the theology of death. Death is a reality for all of us. It is a part of life. Not only will we face death ourselves but as long as we live, death will surround us.

For every circumstance people face in life, there is a way people think about those circumstances. The more concise, modern term for this is “ideology”. Everyone has an “idea-ology”. However, for the believer, our ideology should be driven by our theology. In other words, we must always begin and end with God. If we do otherwise, we can never think rightly about any circumstances much less walk in them with any confidence, peace or hope. Our God is the answer, in and of Himself, for all that we face on earth and for eternity. He isn’t just the Giver of good gifts, He, Himself is the gift. He isn’t just the One who grants forgiveness of sins, He, Himself is the means by which we gain forgiveness. He isn’t just the Father that bestows an inheritance, imperishable and undefiled, He, Himself is the inheritance.

Therefore, we study God to inform us about life. And what more applicable attribute to study when pondering death than the Eternality of God? The eternality of God, His timelessness, stands in stark contrast to our limited “finite-ness”. God’s eternality, just like all of His other attributes: His incomprehensibility, self-existence, self-sufficiency, immutability, omniscience, omnipotence, omnipresence, to name a few, are underscored by His limitlessness or the fact that He is infinite.

However, this is a concept that our minds cannot fully grasp. We know that the term “eternal” means having no beginning and no end however, we cannot completely UNDERSTAND what it means. This will always be the case when we study about God. We can know Him and study His character but because He is so far above us and so “other” than us, we will struggle to comprehend the full extent of who He is because He is a God of no limits.

In the same way, we will study His eternality. The fact that our God has had no beginning and will have no end. He is the God of infinite days yet He is not bound by time. God created time, God controls time but He is not encapsulated or bound by time. He lives in the eternal present. All days are as one with Him. There are no yesterdays or tomorrows. Everything is always today. Right now.

Again, it is hard for us to understand exactly what that looks like. Mainly because we are bound by time. On a specific day we were created and our bodies began the process of aging, the process of dying from the moment of conception. Think about that. Then, we were born and our DOB and time was recorded by the physician and the clock began to tick. And when we meet our end here on earth, the exact same set of numbers will be recorded. And somewhere between the DOB and the DOD we have this thing called life, in the dash.

We measure our lives by time. We mark experiences and significant events and we remember based on time: before this person was born, after this person died; after we worked here or before we were married etc; Yet, we often become so wrapped up in our days that we don’t take inventory of “what happens next.” We are content to live out our days in busyness until we are forced to take a look at the fact that we are but dust, our days are as a mist and death is certain for us all.

Thankfully, scripture tells us, in Psalm 31:15a, our times are in His hands! Our times, our dash, are not arbitrary days, surrounded by arbitrary people driven by arbitrary circumstances. Our times are in the hands of a sovereign and eternal God who numbers our days before there is even one. And you know what the Psalmist says leading up to this great declaration? “I trust in you, O Lord; I say, “You are my God” (Psalm 31:14). The Psalmist placed his trust in the One who held his times and claimed Him as Lord God.

Beloved, what we think of death will inform what we think of life. How we think about death will inform how we live! As we begin this series of lessons about death, dying, the frailty of man and the eternality of God, let’s begin by reminding ourselves that even though we are not eternal, we serve a God who is. Praise Him for His eternality and praise Him that our times are indeed in His hands!

Seconds on Thanksgiving

I am a firm believer that seconds are okay and sometimes even necessary! Thanksgiving was a day for seconds this year. Not turkey, (although I did have seconds there) but this year, I needed seconds from the Word. Have you ever had a day where the first time just didn’t seem to take? You read the word, you have time in prayer and no sooner have you said “Amen” then Satan is conspiring with your flesh to take your claims of being a Christian and leave the whole world wondering...


AND on the one day of the year when we are supposed to be grateful! It’s as if gratefulness should be a switch that is turned on as soon as the last bit of Halloween candy is gone and turkey goes on sale. And the culmination of that thankfulness should appear, on cue, somewhere between the stuffing and pumpkin pie. But this year, my attitude was not going to cooperate. Yep, I was going down for the count which meant my family was coming with me! Because it is somewhere in the Bible (although I haven’t located it yet) that if Mama isn’t happy, ain’t nobody happy, or grateful or fill in the blank.


I can’t exactly put my finger on what happened but about the time I was pulling the turkey out of the oven I could feel it rising up in me. And the truth is, I had no idea why I was feeling this way. I had a quiet time with the Lord that morning, all was right with the world and my turkey was just beautiful. But inside there was civil war going on and the army of the Spirit was losing the battle. So, I quickly grabbed my sword and determined that I had to have seconds before Thanksgiving dinner went down in flames and there were more than a few casualties.


For a second time that day, really in a matter of hours, I opened the Word and prayed once again asking the Lord to “create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me.” I knew once I got up the second time that the victory was sure and Thanksgiving 2016 was saved from my attitude. Praise God!


The truth is this, there are many days when seconds are necessary in my life. I believe when Robert Lowry wrote the hymn, “I Need Thee Every Hour”, he must have been having a seconds kind of day. And that’s okay. Jesus knows we will have those days and that’s why we are told in 1John 2:1, “My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.” And not just any Advocate, but an eternal High Priest that LIVES to make intercession for us.


Listen to the author of Hebrews, “This makes Jesus the guarantor of a better covenant. The former priests were many in number, because they were prevented by death from continuing in office, but he holds his priesthood permanently, because he continues forever. Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them. (Heb. 7:22-25)


Ladies, when we are justified we are saved from our sins, but as long as we inhabit a body comprised of sinful flesh, we will continue to sin. It is not until we are glorified that we will no longer know sin. Until that day, we will groan and struggle within ourselves as the flesh and the renewed Spirit are at enmity with one another. It is because of that very struggle that we have an Advocate who lives to make intercession for us. All day, every day.


And so on Thanksgiving Day I was very grateful that Jesus was not taking a holiday and that I could come back for seconds. I was grateful for the One who sits at the right hand of the Father and never leaves so that in my desperate need for Him I knew with confidence I could boldly approach His throne of grace once again. And again. And again. So, if today is a seconds kind of day for you then go! Don’t be embarassed and don’t put it off. He is there and He lives to make intercession for you.


I need thee ev'ry hour;
Stay thou nearby.
Temptations lose their pow'r
When thou art nigh.


I need thee, oh, I need thee;
Ev'ry hour I need thee!
Oh, bless me now, my Savior;
I come to thee!

Are We Raising a Daniel?

“But Daniel resolved (purposed in his heart, made up his mind) that he would not defile himself with the king’s food or with the wine that he drank.” Daniel 1:8
“When Daniel knew that the document had been signed, he went to his house where he had windows in his upper chamber open toward Jerusalem. He got down on his knees three times a day and prayed and gave thanks before his God, as he had done previously.” Daniel 6:10

I have to admit, I am not happy about 2016. I thought 2015 was a perfectly good year and I would have been content to stop the clock and stay right where we were. Yes, New Years bring new beginnings and the opportunity to start over but the New Year also draws our attention to the fact that time is fleeting. We can’t think about the beginning without simultaneously thinking about the year that has passed. What happened in that year? What did we accomplish?

Likewise, as parents, we take inventory and it is at this point things get real! We are confronted with the harsh reality that our children are growing up and let’s face it, every year brings them one step closer to leaving us. Let’s selah here Mamas so we can all have a good cry together.

For my part, it is hard to believe that a 6 pound 8 ounce baby boy can turn into a 6 foot man over night. Literally, over night. There were mornings when Landon would come down the hall and it appeared he had grown inches overnight. Our grocery bill went through the roof and I couldn’t keep cereal in the house. (There seems to be some correlation between teenage boys and heaping bowls of cereal).

Enter nostalgia. It seems like just yesterday that I held a little bundle of potential in my arms and now I struggle to reach my arms around his neck for a hug! This thing is going fast. Very, very fast. On New Year’s Day as Kraig and I were praying together, thanking the Lord for the blessings of 2015 and asking the Lord’s grace upon 2016, it struck me that this is the last full year that our son will be under our roof. As I spoke the words, I was completely overwhelmed with emotion. This is it!

Yes, I do realize that we will never stop being his parents and we will always have a place in his life. I also realize he may move away only to return again. But this is the last year, as far as we know, where we live out all of the seasons together in the same house. It is an emotional thought, an anxious thought and a thought that brings deep reflection because, our time is short! This is the last year we will have contact with him every day to hear about his day, to see the emotion on his face as he struggles with various circumstances in his life and just to be able to put an arm around him (even if that requires a step stool) to assure him that God is in control. After this, our level of influence and involvement begins to diminish, as it should, as he grows up.

On the heels of all of this emotion, the practical side of me took over. What will I do with this brief, fleeting window of time? What do I want to say? What do I want to do? What do I want to pour into him with the rest of the time we have left? I want to finish well! I want to send him off with a firm foundation that is rooted in conviction that is engendered by His relationship with Jesus. Yes, I want him to be able to feed himself and do some laundry but mainly I want him to be a man of principle.

The prophet Daniel was one such man. It says in scripture that Daniel was a youth when his home country of Judah was taken into captivity by Babylon. Scholars estimate that Daniel would have likely been between 14 and 17 years of age when all of this occurred. He was separated from his family and sent to serve in the king’s palace. Gone were the days of being under the watchful eye of Mom and Dad and their teachings about the One true God. There would be no observation of feasts, reading of the word of the Lord or trips to the temple to sacrifice and worship. All that Daniel had learned up to this point in his life would have to carry him for the rest of his life.

Let’s pause here for a moment. Don’t you love how scripture is so relevant to our lives? Although scripture doesn’t tell us about Daniel’s mama, I have to believe that she was just like us. That her joy mirrored our joys. That her hopes mirrored our hopes. Surely she never dreamed that she would be separated from him for the rest of her life. But, in his formative years, while he was still with her, she “trained him in the way that he should go.” And on the day when she said goodbye to her baby boy, as she was pierced through with many sorrows, was there the thought, “will all that I’ve instilled in him be enough?”

I know there are mothers who may be reading this that have children that are far from the Lord. Regardless of all that you have taught, they have not “purposed in their heart not to defile themselves.” Let me reassure you that God is faithful. You do your part and God is big enough to handle the rest. It is not all up to us if our children love Jesus. We are simply scattering seed. But let's not fall short in saturating our fields with the seed of God's word!

Furthermore, sometimes, scripture leaves blank spaces in order that we fill them in. Not that we base our theology on conjecture or what scripture doesn't say but God leaves room in order for us to make some applications in our own lives. We don’t know if there was a time in which Daniel wandered. Maybe he did. Even though we don’t see it, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. But we do know that when the pressure escalated and he found himself facing life and death situations that he fell back on what he knew.

Over the course of the next 70 plus years, Daniel would be brought before kings and rulers and he would never waiver in his convictions or deviate from the truth. He suffered under the threat of the lion’s den, watched his friends survive the fiery furnace and learned to live as an alien in a pagan culture. Yet, he never compromised. And, he never returned home. Daniel died in Babylon.

Am I raising a Daniel? Am I raising a man who will have all that he needs by now to live out the rest of his life with unwavering compromise? Because, Landon is 16. He is the age that Daniel would have been. Will he fall under temptations that are less severe and falter? If he never came back home and never had the word of God to guide him again, would he continue to believe for the rest of his life? Against trials, sufferings and threats? I wonder…

And so, for 2016, I have my eye on finishing well with him. I have my focus on pouring into him all that I can so that it carries him for the rest of his life. Sobering? Yes. Difficult? Yes. Worth it? Yes! So, my encouragement to us as mother’s is to take inventory this year and every year as we raise and hopefully, disciple our children. Whether you are rocking a bundle of potential or struggling to reach his neck, let us heed the words of Solomon and not forget to, “train up a child in the way he should go so that even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Prov. 22:6 Let’s get to it! Happy New Year!

Hard Times, Strong Jesus

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:18-25;31-32;35-39

Today, I don’t FEEL like a conqueror. I look around and I don’t see much that leaves me feeling victorious. I do see a lot of tribulation, a lot of distress and a lot of death. I see and hear groanings and the sound reaches my ears and causes me to weep. The times leave me tired, wanting reprieve and thinking, “Jesus, it is all too much!” And scripture affirms my suspicions.

Paul, in his letter to the church at Rome, addressed the reality that we all face in suffering. The first part of chapter 8 acknowledges the suffering of this present time that covers the earth from the depths of creation to the depths of man’s soul. He acknowledges the inward groanings that we all feel as a result of our own sin and the sin cursed world that we live in. These groanings are a result of the pains that come from sin but also a longing within us that says, “this cannot be all there is, this is not the way it is supposed to be”.

In times of plenty, in times of joy and prosperity, we don’t meditate on such weighty matters. We skip through our days and rest with peace at night but in hard times, times of suffering and death, when the days drag on and sleep eludes us, we plumb the depths of hard questions. It is in these hard times we need strong Jesus.

The last two weeks I have found myself at the bedside of my dying grandmother, embracing a woman who lost her second child, beside a friend as she received the news that a loved one had passed away unexpectedly, counseling a friend dealing with unrelenting anxiety and just a few days ago hearing the news that another family had lost their only child just one week before Christmas. What in the world? Jesus, what in the world?

What shall we say to these things? Indeed, what shall we say to these people? Isn’t that always the question we ask ourselves? “What do I say to them”? As I was reflecting on all of this, I thought, “Lord, these are hard times! And as quickly as I thought it, the Holy Spirit answered, “Yes! Hard times call for strong Jesus!”

Not literally the physical strength of Jesus, although He is all-powerful, but strong preaching of Jesus! Every single day, we need strong Jesus! We need the strength of the truth of His gospel that says that we are ALL sinners and that we are ALL separated from the love of God and that we are ALL under the wrath of God because of our sin. But God! My favorite statement in all of scripture! But God! He did not spare His own Son. Two of these families lost children. God knows what it is to lose a child! But not just to lose a child, He GAVE a child.

At Christmas we are familiar with the verse out of Isaiah, “Unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given” (Is. 9:6) God gave us His Son that He might carry our sorrows and bear our griefs (Is. 53:3-4). At the cross, Jesus bore the weight of our sorrows and our griefs. He took the heaviness of heart, the pain of every tear and the crushing blows of death for us. But, He didn’t take them FROM us. Inwardly, we still groan. We still experience the heaviness, the tears and death in order that we might understand the fullness of Emmanuel, God with us.

There is an irony that we should be touched by so much death and sorrow in a time when the world is celebrating Christmas. Our Savior came, not just to be God with us but He came to ultimately be a Savior for us. This is the message of Christmas. The rest of Romans 8:32, from the New King James says it this way, “He who did not spare His own Son but delivered Him up for us all, how will He not also with him FREELY give us ALL things!”

In the midst of our pain and sorrow, we feel the magnitude of the greatest gift in the person of Jesus Christ. Beloved, the gospel is the only thing that can stand up to hard times. No words or kind gestures offer answers to the hard questions. We need the one who is a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief (Is. 53:3-4)! The one who runs to the grieving and absorbs himself in circumstances of the sorrowful. We need strong Jesus.

Whether you are reading this as a believer or an unbeliever, the message is the same - hard times, strong Jesus - this is our only hope! Unbeliever, when times are hard, what is your strength? What is your hope? What is your peace? What do you think of Jesus? Your answer to that question defines your life and your eternity. God’s wrath is real but so is His gracious provision to satisfy His own wrath through the death of His Son in order that through Jesus you might have eternal LIFE. Death is certain for us all. We must be prepared.

Believer, we need strong Jesus everyday and it only comes through the preaching and teaching of His word. When the craziness of this world begins to invade our own souls do we fall back on who we know? Do you expose yourself to Jesus everyday? Are you under the preaching of strong Jesus? He has already borne your griefs and carried your sorrows at Calvary. He doesn’t remove them but He has redeemed them. In this hope we are saved! Worship the newborn King who becomes the suffering Servant for you and for me!

In days when joy is mingled with sorrow we need strong Jesus. ”In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” Thankfully, my victory isn’t wrapped up in how I feel but in who Jesus is! And because of Him,even in hard times, “I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Merry Christmas!

There's still Jesus

It is always amazing to me how the Lord leads you to study the things that will prepare you for the next thing that will happen in life. Recently, I’ve been reading in Ecclesiastes. It doesn’t take much time in this book to put life into perspective...and to make you really depressed! If you read it without making it to the end then you won’t see the full picture. But let’s just say this isn’t “encouragement for a Monday” kind of stuff!

In the first few chapters, Solomon is listing out all of things that he has tried in an attempt to find true happiness in life. Chapter two reads like a modern day mini-biography of this king who amassed a fortune and achieved things that most people will never even begin to experience. Let’s just say that Solomon would be firmly placed in Forbes’ number one spot for wealthiest person in the world AND he would make Barbara Walters’ 20 most interesting people every year!

He was the model for success in the ancient world. There are estimates that say if Solomon’s wealth were translated into modern day dollars he would have been worth 2.1 trillion dollars, easily making him the richest man that ever lived! Now, to top all of that, scripture also said that he was the wisest man that ever lived. Money and brains? What’s not to love?

Fast forward to 2015. I have no way to relate to Solomon. I’m not a man, I’m not all that smart and I’m certainly not wealthy by anyone’s standards. But, I can relate to Solomon as a Mom. We know that Bathsheba was Solomon’s mother. She was the one who set up the standard of the Proverbs 31 woman that he wrote about - thanks Bathsheba! However, I am a Mom of a son. No, he isn’t king Solomon but I love him just as much as Bathsheba loved her son. So, I have to imagine that Bathsheba was proud of Solomon in his accomplishments.

You see, “we” are entering into our junior year of high school. I say “we” because this is always a family venture. If you aren’t parents yet or you have small kids, you will understand when the time comes. And with the junior year comes lots of pressure. Pressure to make the team, pressure to make a college choice, pressure to make a career choice, pressure to do well on SAT’s, and pressure to just finish well! Society has infiltrated our front doors and presses in on us and then we press in on our kids.

I will admit, I have fallen prey to this pressure and my pride as a parent has gotten in the way. As the grades come in, as the prep courses come up, as the competition gets stiff and the opportunities more expensive, the pressure to “pack it all in” gets more intense. What if he doesn’t make the team? What if he doesn’t go to Europe? What if he doesn’t make the grade? What if he doesn’t know what he wants to do? What if, what if, what if…

Then, this week, it all came crashing down and stark realities are staring us in the face and everything was brought into perspective and then this: “when high school is over, there’s still Jesus.” When all of the sports have been played, the grades have been documented, the college and career choices have been decided, there’s still Jesus. And all of the success on the field, in the classroom and in his career don’t take care of his soul. If we press in and he is successful by the world’s standards, as scripture says, “if he gains the whole world but loses his soul”, then we have failed. If he leaves our house and isn’t serving the Lord, we have FAILED.

It doesn’t matter one second after he breathes his last what his grades WERE, what his SAT scores WERE, what college he ATTENDED or how much money he MADE. At that point, it is all past tense, and then there’s the judgement. God help us! “It is appointed unto man ONCE to die and then the judgement.” Let that one sink in….

This week has been hard and so very good! Hard because of reality and sin, good because of Jesus and grace! So, the question for all of us is this: what are we raising our kids to become? What is the end result? What will be the result for eternity? Because in the end, there is still Jesus...

You Are Not Mine

This isn’t a deeply theological blog. I’m not necessarily teaching from a particular passage of scripture. Sometimes, the Lord is doing things in my life that I just want to share because I know I am no different from anyone else. If I am struggling in a certain area then I know there are others. In some way, what the Lord is teaching me may flow into your life. If it does, I am grateful that I shared. If it doesn’t then thank you for entertaining my writing.

I begin by saying this, “I will freely admit I know very little about parenting.” I’ve been doing it for over 15 years and I still don’t really know much. And, I surely don’t know as much as I did when my kids were born. So, I guess that is one thing I know...that I don’t know! I read all of these mommy blogs that give advice and tips and how-to’s and the truth is, the longer I parent the less I know! It’s like the old saying, “the older I get the less I know”, well, I can apply that across the board to most things in my life.

Some psychologist or wise sage has said somewhere that “the true definition of maturity is realizing that we know nothing.” And if it hasn’t been said, then, you can mark it down under my name. Again, I don’t think I’m so wise and there is nothing new under the sun. So, I do not come at you as a parenting expert. I’m coming as the “inept” parent. It feels good to admit that. Just know, you are forewarned before you read on!

I can say however, there are things that I am LEARNING. I surely don’t say I KNOW anything but I am in the learning process. One thing that I am learning, as of late, is that my children have their own relationship with the Lord. I know. No one is handing me the Nobel Prize for that statement. But bear with me for a minute.

When your children are little, infants, toddlers, preschool age, even though they live unto the Lord, they live unto the Lord through you. This is one of many reasons God gave children parents. As parents, we are the initial God figure in their lives. Albeit imperfect, we are there to love, disciple, correct, instruct and discipline our children as a representation of God in their lives before they are old enough to comprehend the concept of God.

Once they are old enough to begin to understand that their is a God, that He is holy, just, loving and he hates sin but provides forgiveness through Jesus, they grow to become accountable for this knowledge and their actions regarding this knowledge. Some people refer to this as the age of accountability. There is no specific age and really, every child is different. But there does come a point in time when they are able to understand and articulate the gospel and what that means for them. (Keep in mind this is a very surface level explanation.)

At this point, things begin to take on a different dynamic because now, their eyes are opened to the fact that they are living, not just unto Mom and Dad and “because I said so” but they are living unto a higher authority that we all must submit to. They become aware they are living unto God. It is at this point that by God’s grace, hopefully, they are saved.

As your children grow, in stature and in the Lord, you play less of a God role in their lives. You aren’t totally taking your hands off the wheel but your grip, your control, gradually becomes less and less. Although this is something you know is coming as a parent, you are usually looking at it from afar. The years are full of making decisions for your children: what to eat, when to eat, when to sleep, when to wake, what to wear, when to bathe, where to go, when to go etc; Almost before you realize it, you are not making these decisions anymore.

At first, you welcome the freedom of not having to tell them what to wear, when to eat, when to bathe - until the decisions become bigger decisions, things that are weightier than cheese puffs vs. eggs for breakfast. Decisions that will affect their future and sometimes their entire lives. And Moms, this is difficult! Although the days of cleaning spaghetti off of every square inch of your child, kitchen and yourself are exhausting, they are simple. Yes, simple...and fleeting, so enjoy them.

How can I say such things to exhausted Moms to toddlers everywhere? Because last week I would have given anything to just be cleaning up spaghetti! We had a very rough parenting week last week. Both of our children went through difficult situations and as parents we were struggling to make it better. We were struggling for words to say to stop the tears from flowing. We were struggling with how to fix the hurt. There is no helplessness quite like that kind of helplessness. And I spent ALOT of time in prayer. Prayer for them. Prayer for us. Prayer for others. Just prayer. It was all I could do. It was the only thing that gave me any peace..on my knees, in the car, in the shower, at my job, prayer.

As life does, last week turned into this week and the clock continues to tick and time moves on. We are moving on from last week but I have wrestled with the Lord over what this all means in my life and the lives of my children. And the Lord sweetly and quietly confirmed the novel idea that He is working in the lives of my children too. He is sanctifying them and teaching them just like He is teaching me. He is teaching them to trust Him. He is testing them. He is refining them in their young lives just as He continues to refine me.

And that leaves me with two decisions to make: will I resist the work of the Lord in the lives of my children? Will I attempt to control what He is doing in order to make life more comfortable and easier for them? Or will I TRUST Him in the lives of my children. Not just WITH the lives of my children but IN their lives. Essentially, will I attempt to resist the Spirit’s work and God’s providence in the lives of my children? Or, can God be trusted with my children?

I may not openly let those questions roll off of my tongue but they are in my heart, if I am honest. I know because many times I live as if I am saying, “Thank you Lord for saving them but I’ve got it from here! You be sure and watch over them when they aren’t under my watch and care but otherwise, I’ve got it.”

And I do that because that’s what I’ve spent their whole lives doing. The illusion of control is strong and I am deceived into believing the propaganda that I am able to field every circumstance, sin and suffering. I’ve spent their lives fixing it, deciding it and controlling it...and now those days are over. So I am grieving in a way. But I am growing too. The Lord is sanctifying me as He is sanctifying them. He is using what occurs in their lives for them and for me. And I am no longer “lord” in their lives.

I constantly have to remind myself that I am not letting my kids go but I am letting them go to God because they were never truly mine in the first place, they really are His. I’m just a steward in this life. I’m a shepherd and a teacher and yet being a mother feels like so much more. It feels like they are MINE. So, I struggle and I attempt to resist and kick against the goads and I realize, that “my arms are too short to box with God.”

This morning, the Lord led me to the story of Hannah. Here is one Mama who knew and understood that her child was not hers, that he belonged to the Lord. It says in 1 Samuel 1:24, “the child was young” when she brought him to the temple. I don’t know exactly what age but many scholars believe he was about two or three years of age, when he was weaned. And she said, “Therefore, I have dedicated him to the Lord. As long as he lives, he is dedicated to the Lord.” And she left him there.

I have to imagine that she wept as she began her journey back home. I have to imagine that she smothered him in kisses, stroked his sweet head and took one last smell of his neck before she departed. I have to imagine that she spent hours thinking of him and praying for him and counting the days until she could visit him again, once a year, at the temple. No cell phones, no cars, no email. Hannah knew something that I need to know - you are not mine!

So, I found some verses and added some phrases in that will aid me in praying and trusting, in learning to let go. Maybe you are there too - so I will share from one inept parent to another. And I say for us all, “Therefore, I have dedicated them to the Lord. As long as they live, they are dedicated to the Lord.”

“Trust in the Lord (for your children) and lean not on your own understanding (of what is going on in their lives). In all (their) ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct (their) paths. Prov. 3:5-6

Thus says the Lord: “Cursed is the woman who trusts in man and makes flesh her strength (and the strength of her children), whose heart turns away from the Lord. Jer. 17:5

“Blessed is the woman who trusts in the Lord (for her children), whose trust is the Lord (for her children). Jer. 17:7

The fear of woman lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe. Prov. 29:25

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, “In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength.” Is. 30:15

And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you. Ps. 9:10

Many are the sorrows of the wicked, but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord. Ps. 32:10

Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Ps. 37:3

Commit (the way of your children) to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. Ps. 37:5

Me and Peter...Still Growing in Grace

As of December, the “Growing in Grace Today” blog is four years old. I have been writing at this address for four years and ALOT has been said here, not all good. Proverbs 10:19 says, “where there are many words, transgression is not lacking”, and this blog is no exception.

When I began the blog I didn’t have a real, concrete reason for starting. The main thing I wanted to do was write. And I wasn’t sure what I wanted to write about. Sometimes I wanted to write about my life. Sometimes I wanted to share funny experiences. Sometimes I wanted to use it as a platform for my angst against certain people or circumstances. Sometimes I wanted to guide others on how to be “the best Mom, wife, friend etc;” using my pompous self as the example. And on a good day, when I yielded to the Spirit, I wanted to write about Jesus.

A few months ago, I started thinking that I would erase some of the earlier posts. The posts that were the former. The posts that, looking back, I was ashamed of. I found myself using the word of God as a mallet or an axe to fell the tree of judgment and condemnation. In other words, I wanted to pretty up my blog. I wanted to make it appear as presentable as possible.

At the same time, I began to think about the name. “Is it time for a “rebrand”? I chose the name 4 years ago and the Lord has done some serious work in my life since then. Maybe, it isn’t an accurate representation of what this blog is about…”

On the contrary, that is exactly what this blog is about! I am GROWING, active present tense, I am growing in the grace and knowledge of the Lord. As Paul said to the Philippians in 2:15, “so that you MAY BE blameless and innocent, children of God, without blemish”, and then he so aptly goes on to say, “not that I have obtained this yet! (3:13)” Paul expresses my heart!

I was immature...and I still am. The difference was, back then, I didn’t see it. The older I get, the more I realize how very little I know! I can’t tell you how to raise “boys to men” because I haven’t raised anyone yet! I can’t tell you how to “have your best marriage now” because we are both still living it out. I can’t tell you how to do anything with great success, but Jesus can.

So, the older posts will stay. Some of them I really despise. Some of them show a sinful, fleshly, proud heart. Forgive me. Those are the posts where my own agenda supercedes that of the Lord. Just like Peter can’t erase some of his worst times smeared on the pages of scripture, I can’t either. They have already been read. They have already been posted for the world to see. But hopefully, people will get to this post first.

And, isn’t this some of why we identify with Peter? He is REAL! He reacts as we would. I’m sure that didn’t help to assuage the shame he felt over some of his actions. But the Lord let them stay so that you and I might know even those who are true disciples fail. No wonder he was the one who penned, “but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity!”(2. Pet. 3:18)

After all of this time, just this week, the Lord has finally solidified in my heart why I have this blog: to bring glory to Him! That’s it. Although there are times that I share my personal experiences and how the Lord is working in my life, all of that is simply a means of showing His grace through my inadequacies.

This blog is a means of “teaching” scripture that God might “show us His ways, that we may know Him better, in order to find favor in His sight” (Ex. 33:13). That is it! I promise I will fail at this again. But, by God’s grace, I pray it is less and less. I pray that He will use this blog as a means of sending His word forth and transforming lives as He is transforming mine. Any good you receive here is Him and Him alone. So, today and every day, grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ..I’ll be right there with you!

Jesus Knows!

Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! I might as well say Happy Easter etc; since it might be that long before I have the opportunity to write again. Writing is one of my greatest passions but it isn’t high on the priority list these days so I don’t get to it like I want to. Thankfully, today, everyone slept in, the house was quiet, the coffee was strong and the Spirit was moving! I had been hoping to write a lot over the holidays but unfortunately, time got away from me and the exact message I wanted to send was still ruminating. This morning, as I received a bittersweet text from a friend, the Lord, solidified it right then and there. He is good!

To fill you in: We have had a great deal going in the lives of people that are pretty special to us and it has impacted us significantly. It is easy to turn off the television and walk away from the bad news of the day but unfortunately, real life doesn’t afford us that luxury of detachment. After a while, it begins to weigh on your soul. I told my husband the other day, “only God could look out over the sin sick world we live in and not get completely discouraged.” It is true, we are easily discouraged when it comes to sin, even as believers.

Rewind 12 months. Last year at this time I was right in the middle of teaching the book of Hebrews in our ladies’ bible study. Hebrews, mind you, is not for the faint of heart, and I literally freaked out every month as I worked to study each chapter because the themes are deep and not easily understood. But, the Lord started very early in the series to do some simple but deep work in my soul. Let me explain.

In the first chapter of Hebrews, the author (who I secretly think might be a woman - wouldn’t that be cool?), doesn’t give any opening greetings to the audience, he...or she ;) just jumps right in. The book was addressed, as most books in the New Testament, to people who have just come out of intense persecution, are in the midst of intense persecution or are about to be in the middle of intense persecution. First century believers lived under the gun and they knew once they confessed Jesus as Lord that there was no going back. Their lives would never be the same.

So, in the first chapter, the author jumps right in and begins extolling the riches contained in the character of Christ. He does this to establish the fact of Jesus’ deity. Hebrews 1:4 states, “Having become as much superior to the angels as the name He has inherited is more excellent than theirs”. The reality that Jesus is God makes a difference in our lives. Why? Because as God, He is ABLE to do what He says He will do. There is a large theological term for this called, “omnipotence”. Basically, it means “omni - all, potence - power”. Jesus, as God, has all power which makes Him ABLE.

Then in the second chapter, the author shifts gears and begins to talk about Jesus’ humanity. How He became, “for a time, a little lower than the angels” (Heb. 2:9). He does this to establish the fact that Jesus was not only God, but He was also man. The reality that Jesus lived as a man for 33 years makes a difference in our lives. Why? Because in His humanity, He KNOWS.

Let me give you an analogy to drive this home. Labor and delivery are among the most painful experiences in life. I don’t think there is a woman alive who has given birth and been awake for it, that doesn’t agree. When you are in the midst of that kind of pain, aside from drugs, there isn’t a whole lot that helps. During the delivery of my first born I had three people in the room with me: my husband, my Mom and my doctor.

My husband was moral support but he was unable to help or even know what it was like to be in labor. My Mom was moral support but she was also sympathetic because she knew what I was going through. My doctor, a woman and a mother herself, was not only sympathetic but she was able to help. Now, if she had chosen not to intervene but stand in the corner of the room while I screamed my head off, all of her sympathy and ability would have been futile.

Jesus, God the Son, “who though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, emptied Himself by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men” (Php. 2:6-7) did so in order that He might sympathize. But if He had chosen to back away from the suffering of the cross, we would still be dead in our sins. At the cross, which began at the cradle, Jesus started His journey to the ultimate intervention. At the cross, Jesus INTERVENES. Through His suffering He enters into ours. Selah.

Ladies, I don’t know what you are experiencing today. I don’t know if it is physical, mental, spiritual or all three. But I do know that Jesus KNOWS. He knows not just because He is God and is omniscient (all-knowing). He knows through the experience of it because He lived it. Betrayed, wrongly accused, “despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief” (Is. 53:3), beaten, bruised, tired, tempted, poor, hungry and missing His Father, just like us.

I don’t know about you, but this is comforting to me. God, “who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things” (Rom 8:32)? When I meditate on this scripture and think on these things: that He KNOWS, IS ABLE and He INTERVENES, it makes my outlook on life one of hope. It makes my suffering a little lighter. “Surely, He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows” (Is. 53:4), surely He has!

I hope this brings you comfort too. I pray that this knowledge will fill your soul and meet you right where you are today. Nothing is sweeter to me than to say, “Jesus KNOWS, yes, He does!” Not just for yesterday’s trials or today’s but for every tomorrow after that. He will always KNOW. The Savior is for me, and He is for you! He is ABLE and He INTERVENES! Praise to His glorious name!

The Club I Never Wanted to Be Part of...

“Now I want you to know, brethren, that my circumstances have turned out for the greater progress of the gospel, so that my imprisonment in the cause of Christ has become well known throughout the whole praetorian guard and to everyone else…” (Phil. 1:12-13a)

Prison. The apostle Paul was incarcerated. Did you know that? Yep! Not once, not twice but multiple times. You could say he had a rap sheet. How embarrassing. How humiliating. Yet it doesn’t seem that Paul really cares about his reputation or what other people think. His mindset is totally different. He is gospel-centered.

When I start to think about his circumstances, (some other translations say, “what has happened to me”) I have to fight the urge to see prison as something different from what it is today. Being labeled a criminal had no more prestige then than it does now. As a matter of fact, prison was disgusting and infested. Prison was dark and dank. No electricity. No indoor plumbing, no bunks or 3 meals a day. No one would want to be a prisoner and certainly no one would seemingly be excited about their imprisonment.

Except for the Apostle Paul. He was a strange and polemic, other-worldly kind of fellow. He didn’t put much stock in this life or his circumstances. He even writes about it later on in the book of Philippians (4:11) saying, “whatever circumstances I am in, I have learned to be content.” You might admire him, you might think him odd, but one thing is for sure...we would all like to know his secret.

I don’t think it is far-fetched to say that Paul didn’t want to be in prison. He really would have been strange if he had enjoyed being locked up. But, he knew that God was providentially using his circumstances to further the gospel, so he rejoiced...and he wasn’t ashamed. He goes on later in chapter one to say this very thing. Although his circumstances might be less than favorable to the world, he knows that Christ will be exalted.

You know, there are clubs in life that we all become part of through our circumstances that we would never have chosen to join. Paul, through this set of circumstances was now part of the “I’ve been in prison before” club. Although he was wrongfully accused, convicted or not, being arrested and imprisoned carries its own stigma. Yet, he is quick to say that now, everyone knows about it. He is his own PR agent. He isn’t waiting for word to get out about him. He’s beating them to the punch. How humbling...

We are going through something in our family right now that is securing our membership in a club we never wanted to be part of. I’m sure there are many of you that can relate. You are now part of something that was never part of your original plan. This isn’t a club with bragging rights and the membership isn’t exclusive. We often find ourselves inducted as members in 2 ways: we are nominated or we sign up. Let me explain.

There are circumstances in our lives that are out of our control; things that happen to us, just like Paul. For example: the death of a loved one (a child, a spouse, a parent), an uncontested divorce, suicide of a family member or close friend, our spouse commits adultery, a tragic accident that leaves someone very different than before, infertility, depression, addiction, job loss, betrayal, miscarriage, a fatal diagnosis, rape, sexual abuse, incarceration of people we love, to name a few.

Then there are circumstances in our lives that are in our control but have spun out of control: our own addiction, we commit adultery, having an abortion, sexual immorality before marriage. Maybe we were the instigator in a divorce. Maybe we have been incarcerated. We struggle with: lust, anger, jealousy, envy, bitterness, hatred, betrayal, stealing, lying, eating disorders or same sex attraction, to name a few.

And often times, these circumstances lead to imprisonment. This was certainly the situation in Paul’s case. His circumstances led to bondage, although for him it was literal, for many of us, it is figurative but it is no more stifling than if we had real chains on our hands and feet. All of a sudden we are members in a club that we never wanted to belong to, labels and all. Hello, my name is...and I am grief-stricken, divorced, addicted, a victim of (fill in the blank).

We allow our circumstances to make us victims rather than victors. One sure way you can know you are still victimized by something is whether you are still keeping it hidden. Satan wants nothing more than to shame us into secrecy. He doesn’t want us sharing with others because he wants all of us to suffer in silence. He wants us to be bound to the club but our membership to be anonymous.

Ladies, there is freedom in Christ, freedom from the bondage of sin and the bondage of circumstances. Paul was in prison! What a shameful, disgusting existence! And the news about his imprisonment was spreading. It was getting out and people began to wag their tongues about it, hoping to increase his shame, hoping to increase the weight of his chains.

But what does Paul do? He is telling his own story! He is telling his own misfortune and he is excited that what has happened to him has turned out for the progress of the gospel! What a shock to his opponents! What a blow to the enemy! He rejoices that his misfortune has brought attention to the gospel and that others are becoming more bold in sharing their own faith (1:14).

So, what if Paul had kept silent? What if he had been embarrassed over his imprisonment? What if he had shooshed people and told them to “keep quiet” for fear of being more exposed? Who can say? But one thing is for sure, God used it to strengthen the faith of fellow believers and further the gospel to an otherwise, lost and dying world (1:12-18).

Beloved, each and every circumstance is divinely orchestrated by God in our lives. Some of our circumstances come through no fault of our own and some come as a result of consequences from our sin. God has dominion over it all. No, God is not the author of our sin but our sin is not hidden from Him. And praise God he uses our sin for His greater glory...if we let Him. When we begin to see that opening our mouths about our circumstances not only frees us but turns out for the further progress of the gospel, we are taking back the territory that the enemy has claimed. We are no longer tossed to and fro by the guilt and shame of sin or our circumstances.

We each have a story. There is no one else quite like us. No one who shares the specific set of gifts, talents or circumstances that make us who we are, that define us. You are unique. So, I implore you to USE your circumstances to minister to others who are in the same situation. If you are a victim of adultery or if you are an adulterer, tell your story! If you are divorced by your choice or not by your choice, tell your story! If you have a child that is not walking with the Lord, that is incarcerated, that has struggled with addiction of any kind, tell your story! If you have dealt with depression, sexual immorality or abortion, tell your story!

If Jesus has set you free, led you through or daily sustains you in your struggles, don’t be quiet! We need transparency in order to stand together and strive together against our opponent. He is strong and daily, hourly, he takes us down. We bob and we weave and we stumble and he is formidable...but he is not invincible. Paul closes his thoughts in chapter one of Philippians with this, ” (you be) in no way alarmed by your opponents—which is a sign of destruction for them, but of salvation for you, and that too, from God. For to you it has been granted for Christ’s sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake, experiencing the same conflict which you saw in me, and now hear to be in me” (Phil. 1:28-30)

Suffering is part of the human condition. Sometimes we suffer and don’t know why. Other times we suffer at our own hand. But the bottom line is...we all suffer. The greater grace is when we hand that suffering over to Jesus and then allow Him to use it for the furtherance of the gospel.

Indeed, there are many clubs that I don’t want to be part of but my membership is already secured. I have been nominated for some and others I have signed up for but it doesn’t change my feelings about being a member. I wish it had turned out differently. But then, I look back at Paul and in my spirit, I begin to say along with him, “But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice. Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and God’s provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death” (Phil. 1:18-20 NIV). This is my prayer for you: Press on beloved. Press on!

To Working Moms: God Gives Good Gifts

With the holidays fast approaching I can’t help but be extremely grateful for time off - from my “other” job that is. As I sit here in my house where dust bunnies abound, dishes grow by scores and laundry is never finished, I relish the time at home. Time to be the taxi service, time to cook lavish breakfasts and time to stay in my pajamas until Noon (even as the taxi driver - don’t judge - you know you’ve worn pajama pants to the store and tried to pass them off as a new fashion statement!) I also know that going back to work after many days at home will be difficult because my heart is here, at home.

I can’t help but think there are many Mommies who feel the same way. I can’t be the only one. As I look back over the last 14 years since I was gifted to be a Mom I have experienced it all: full-time, part-time, stay-at-home and even single Mom for a year while Kraig worked in another state Monday-Friday. No, I have no idea what it is to be a complete single Mom but that little bit of time makes me have mad respect for single mothers. Regardless of the specifics of each situation, let’s face it, being a Mom is hard work! Being a working Mom is a different kind of hard work.

I know there are some Moms who enjoy working. I also know a whole lot of Moms who don’t. I often think it isn’t because they hate their jobs as much as they hate leaving their children. A working Mom is constantly challenged to perform a precise balancing act between loyalty to her employer and loyalty to her family. Often times we fail and fail miserably. As a result, we despise ourselves or we begin to despise our jobs. It is easy to look at our jobs as the enemy - the thing that takes us away from where we really want to be.

I have struggled with this on and off over the last 14 years. I have spent many days crying and begging the Lord to bring me home. I have lashed out in anger and despair when year after year I have an unfulfilled longing to be home. Eventually, the Lord brought me to the point where I had to make peace with where I was in order to keep from presuming on God’s goodness and abounding in sin. I hope this will speak to you in some way today if you struggle with being a working Mommy.

1) Be grateful for your job. God has ordained work as the means by which He blesses His people. A job well-done brings glory to the Lord and blessing to you. God has provided this job as a means of providing for your family. It is a blessing. It is likely an answer to prayer. Be grateful! (Colossians 3:15-17)

2) Practice contentment. Often times God does not remove us from a situation or difficult circumstance in order to teach us contentment. Removing the obstacle changes things but it doesn’t change us. Contentment is cultivated in the midst of difficult circumstances not apart from them. (Philippians 4:11-13)

3) Remember you are firmly planted. You are working and you are working where you are working on purpose. As long as it is not illegal or immoral, God has ordained your employment. He has firmly planted you specifically among people who need the Light of Christ. But, God is never one-dimensional. He is also using those people in your life to sanctify you. Your employment and your co-workers are not an accident. God has purpose for you right where you are. (Acts 17:25-26)

4) Be where you are. Often times the hardest thing for us as mothers is leaving work at work and home at home. We drive to work with home on our minds and we drive home with work on our minds. But, work isn’t paying you to be Mom. When you are at work, put in an honest and excellent day’s work. This brings honor to the Lord and sheds light on the gospel to those around you. Will that be hard some days? Yes! Will you have family crisis that distract you? Yes! In those times, ask the Lord to help you take care of the task at hand. The Lord is caring for your family even when you aren’t there.

On the other hand, when you aren’t at work, BE at home. What I mean is this: it is easy to come home after a long day and veg out! You walk in from work only to be faced with, “what’s for dinner?” and “Mom, I need this for school tomorrow” etc. The inclination is to turn on the television, pick up the cell phone or open the laptop and retreat. It’s the dichotomy of wanting to be home but when you get home there’s nothing left! Remember, this is the time you’ve likely been waiting for all day so use it wisely. Don’t waste the time you do have. Make the most out of your time at home and be there, not just physically but mentally as well. Your kids will thank you for it! (Ephesians 5:15-16)

5) Work is about fulfilling the 2nd greatest commandment. The second greatest commandment is loving your neighbor as yourself. I am always quick to say that our husbands and children are our closest neighbors but they aren’t our only neighbors. The truth is, everyone is our neighbor! If they live and breath and come in contact with us then they are our neighbor! What better way to love your neighbor then working outside the home! It just gives us more people to love ;) (Matthew 22:35-40)

6) To everything there is a season. I don’t know why you are working. Maybe you want to. Maybe you have to. Maybe you hate it. Maybe you don’t. I do know that life is not static. Life is dynamic and we serve a God that is sovereign over it all! Who knows if tomorrow you may have the opportunity to do something different? Who knows if next year you will still be where you are? The point is, you can always count on the fact that things will eventually change. But for now, as Jesus told Peter, “as for you, you follow me” (John 21:22). (Ecclesiastes 3:1-13)


Ladies, I know that God has called us to a mighty task as Mothers. He has called us to an honorable,excellent, exhausting task as Mothers. We don’t stop being Mom when we start punching the time clock, we shouldn’t stop honoring the Lord either. Scripture says that has called us and equipped us to honor Him in all that we do (Romans 8:28; Hebrews 13:20-21). Over the holidays, enjoy the time with your children. Enjoy the dishes and the laundry and the pajama pants and then enjoy the job that God has given as a good gift to you. Praise Him for His goodness at work and at home. Glorify Him in all He has given you to do! He gives nothing but good gifts!

Merry Christmas!

Bullying our Sisters in Christ

“If someone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates her sister, she is a liar; for the one who does not love her sister whom she has seen, cannot love God whom she has not seen. And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love her sister also.” 1John 4:20-21

In true female style, most of us will begin to read this with another person in mind. We will be thinking about ourselves or our children as the victim of bullying but I implore you to let this blog post read you. What I mean is, let’s be honest with ourselves and be brave enough to tell ourselves the truth! Are you a bully? Are you raising a bully?

When you think of the word “bully” what comes to mind? For most of us we envision a neighborhood kid, usually a boy, that is overgrown in size, walking around with a scowl on his face while constantly punching his fist into his opposite hand looking for a fight. We conjure up visions of physical abuse that leave someone maimed, lying in a corner without milk money. Yes, bullying can be physical however, I want to challenge you to look past the stereotypes. Unfortunately, there is quite a bit more to bullying than meets the eye.

Bullying can be defined as a means of manipulating and controlling someone else through negative reinforcement. If we allow ourselves the liberty to broaden the definition to include emotional and mental abuse then we reveal a whole new category of behaviors that can now be included in the definition.

As we venture into this hot-button topic we will constantly realign ourselves with the truth of scripture. If we claim the name of Christ, we are to remember that we “are not our own, that we were bought with a price, therefore, we are to glorify the Lord with our bodies” (I Cor. 6:19b-20). This isn’t just about glorifying the Lord through our physical bodies but also with the immaterial parts of our bodies like our hearts and our minds. So, what we DO, how we FEEL and how we THINK ought to glorify the Lord!

First, I want to challenge us to realize that girls and grown women can and do bully. We have had our first experience with bullying and it wasn’t like I imagined. It wasn’t a threat or a fight. In fact, it wasn’t physical at all. This situation was born out of jealousy and anger. And although there were no physical threats there was plenty of manipulation in order to gain control. I don’t know if there are any two words that creep into sinful female behavior more than manipulation and control! These words by definition connote wrong thinking and wrong living.

Before you quickly write off this post as being meant for “someone else” let me give a few examples: [the term “girl” and “woman” are used interchangeably]

Have you ever attempted to ostracize or exclude other girls from the “group”?

Have you manipulated the way other people think of another girl by speaking negatively or even telling lies about her?

Have you ignored another girl or given the cold shoulder in an attempt to hurt her feelings?

Finally, have you said or done things toward another girl in an attempt to hurt her or make her look bad?


If we are honest, it would probably be the majority of us who would be able to raise our hands. I will be the first to admit that as a child, as a teenager and even as a grown woman that I have done one or more of these things in order to hurt another woman. Yes, I am ashamed to admit, I have been a bully and... I was WRONG! Praise the Lord for His grace that covers all of my sin. I have had to have some extremely humbling conversations, even embarassing conversations but the Lord is faithful when we do what is right! Oh how I challenge you to do what is right!

And yes, this happens in the church among those who claim the name of Christ! Girls, as James says, “This ought not be so! With [our mouths] we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing” (James 3:9-10) Yet, we lie against the Holy Spirit within us when we attempt to bully other girls in the church from grade school through to the choir. I use the word “church” here not just speaking of your local church but also of the corporate church; all of our sisters in Christ.

Who is your sister in Christ? Any other girl that is a blood-bought, redeemed sinner like yourself! You see, the cross is level ground for everyone. Scripture is clear that not one of us stands innocent before the Lord, there is none righteous, no not ONE. It doesn’t matter what your sister has done or what you have perceived she has done. You have no leg to stand on..not one! Let me make this very, very clear: there is no room for hatred in the body of Christ! If this girl is a classmate, a co-worker, a biological member of your family, a friend (or previous friend), a fellow athlete, a fellow church member or your neighbor across the street; no matter the relationship or what she has done you have no grounds to hate her, mistreat her, ostracize her or turn others against her.

On the contrary, you are to love her. Need proof?

"The one who says she is in the Light and yet hates her sister is in the darkness until now. 10 The one who loves her sister abides in the Light and there is no cause for stumbling in her. 11 But the one who hates her sister is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where she is going because the darkness has blinded her eyes." 1 John 2:9-11

"By this the children of God and the children of the devil are obvious: anyone who does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor the one who does not love her sister. 11 For this is the message which you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another." 1 John 3:10-11

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 9 By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us. 13 By this we know that we abide in Him and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit." 1 John 4:7-13

"Whoever believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and whoever loves the Father loves the child born of Him. 2 By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and observe His commandments. 3 For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome. 4 For whatever is born of God overcomes the world; and this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith." 1 John 5:1-4


Bullying is ugly but bullying in the body of Christ is downright heinous! The church is for the building up of one another - not the other way around. Ultimately, when you hurt another member of the body of Christ you are hurting yourself! It is time that we call it out for what it is and stop it!

Second, I want to dispel the myth that there is ever a reason to bully. Often times we think that we are justified. Sometimes because of a perceived hurt and other times because of real hurt. The following are some examples of potential reasons we may be driven to bully a sister in Christ:

She “took”: a friend, a boy, a job, a promotion, a spot on the committee, a spot on the athletic team, a position you had worked for, something or maybe someone you wanted

She “hurt”: you, a friend, a child, a family member

She “has”: a bigger house, a nicer car, a boyfriend, a husband, a godly husband, a better-looking husband, more talent, more skill, more money, more opportunities, a better education, a better figure, more friends and overall, more of what you don’t!


This list of course, is not exhaustive, but you get the idea. And don’t get me wrong - I am not attempting to minimize genuine hurt but I am attempting to correct our thinking. The church is becoming increasingly secularized. In short, we are looking more and more like the world rather than like the body of Christ. We are living by what the world says is okay versus what the WORD says. The world says that retaliation for your hurt is natural. The word says, “be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:19-20). The world says that revenge is sweet. The word says, “be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ has also forgiven you” (Eph. 4:32). Scripture gives no amount of wiggle room in the matter!

Sisters, we cannot love the Lord and hate each other. It doesn’t matter how old you are! It doesn’t matter how young you are (I’ll talk about that a little later). It doesn’t even matter what YOU think is a legitimate reason. If there was ever one who would have been justified in hatred it would have been the sinless Son of God who was innocently murdered for our sin and yet He cried out in His agony, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34)

Third, I want to talk about our examples and responsibilities as mothers to our daughters in stemming the tide of bullying. If I have said it once, I have thought it a thousand times, “you are the example that your daughter is following!” She is not listening to what you say. She is watching what you do! If you are downing other women in your speech or in your actions she will see it! I am always amazed at how we assume that we can “fool” our children when in reality they are far more perceptive than we give them credit for and from a VERY young age.

Don’t think because you have a preschooler or grade schooler that you can let your guard down. They are sponges! And they will emulate what they see! Do you doubt what I’m saying? Go into a preschool class and watch how little girls interact with one another. It is uncanny that given a few years, some makeup and a pair of high heels how much they can resemble us! The greatest teaching you can give your daughter is to be who you are instructing her to be. Be genuine, love the Lord, admit mistakes and give her grace!

Lastly, are you raising a bully? Could it be that you are enabling your daughter to be a bully? At first glance these are hard words but they beg for an honest answer. Are you allowing her to act out of how she feels toward another girl without any intervention? If so, let me boldly and humbly say, “You are wrong.” Mothers, I am very aware of the protective instinct that God placed in us toward our children. This is a good thing when our children are in dangerous or potentially life threatening situations. BUT! It is not a good thing when we allow them to act upon every whim of emotion that captures their hearts.

Let’s face it, life is hard, hurt is real and no one is exempt from hurt whether perceived or real, but at some point, we have to draw the line. My daughter has come to me with hurts, annoyances and downright anger towards other girls. I have allowed her the opportunity to vent. I have acknowledged her feelings and then I have taken her to scripture. This is what she is accountable to, not me. If she learns at a young age that the instruction that comes from me is sourced directly from scripture then she will know first, I don’t speak out of my own opinions and second, she will know where to look when I am not there to guide her.

Some of these situations I have FELT (and I want to emphasize felt) that she was justified in her hurt, her anger and her annoyance however, I did not allow her to shun, mistreat or act out toward another girl based on her feelings. You see, it is easy for us to say, “Well, she’s young. She is having a hard time. Her hurt is real and she’s just a kid. You can’t expect kids to act like adults.” We let our girls off the hook because we’ve bought into the world’s view instead of the Word’s view. We let them off the hook because of hormones, or age or heartbreak...and then, we choose to turn a blind eye to the bullying that ensues because then again, we are hurt for her!

Moms, this is sin! I cannot sugarcoat it. You are responsible for instructing her in the paths of godliness and doing all that is within your power to make sure it happens. Let me leave you with two sayings that we use in our family. We didn’t come up with them but they are a concise guide to navigating the emotional ups and downs of life.

“You can’t always act how you feel.” Toddlers are a great example of acting how you feel. What does a toddler do when another toddler has something they want? They take it! Then, toddler number one hits toddler number two and lots of crying ensues! Unfortunately, we are sometimes still allowing our children to act like toddlers. If we are honest, sometimes we still act like toddlers! So, what does scripture say? “To the one who KNOWS what is right and does not do it; to her it is sin” (James 4:17) Pretty plain and simple.

“Make the right decision with your head and allow your heart to catch up.” There is a question as to whether or not we “fake” it and act like a “hypocrite” when in our hearts we really don’t like the person. Love is not based on the object being loveable. Love is based on a commandment. Jesus said, “and the second ‘commandment’ is like it, you shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt. 22:39) However, I know the God that we serve and I know he would not ask us to do anything that He would not equip us to live out: “We are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for GOOD works, which God prepared BEFOREHAND so that we would walk in them.” Eph. 2:10. I can say, based on the truth of scripture that if you do what is right then, the Lord will bless it and move in your heart to seal it.

This is a good and godly thing for us to learn. We can have victory over our feelings and truly learn to love our sisters in Christ when we exercise faith and allow the Spirit of God to work in our hearts. “For whatever is born of God overcomes the world and this is the victory that overcomes the world - our faith!” 1 John 5:4. Girls, “be killing sin or it will be killing you!”