“I was in misery, and misery is the state of every soul overcome by friendship with mortal things and lacerated when they are lost. Then the soul becomes aware of the misery which is its actual condition even before it loses them.”
― Augustine of Hippo, Confessions
The second category we are prone to as women is the idolatry of control. This can reveal itself through manipulation of others (crying, complaining, nagging, the silent treatment, sulking, pouting), being a perfectionist, being bossy or trying to make everyone happy. More precisely, using emotional power plays to get others to do what we want or dragging people on our emotional roller coaster.
Now, I am pretty sure that none of us has ever used any of these tactics to get our way in relationships, right? You have never tried to use manipulation to persuade others. I know that all of us, at one time or another have attempted to manipulate and control a situation through emotional power plays.
We attempt to make others feel bad if they have hurt our feelings or push them to apologize. We sulk so that people will ask if everything is okay? We tell people what to do or we exhaust ourselves trying to make everyone happy with themselves and with us. Or, we attempt to be perfect, make our kids perfect, make our husbands perfect and in the process drive everyone crazy!
The truth is, each of these things is a means of trying to control others. Ultimately, we want someone else to respond in the way that makes us most happy. If we go back to our definition of idolatry - the exaltation of self - isn’t that what control really is? It is an attempt to make everyone bow to our desire, our happiness and our wants.
We have to be especially sensitive to this as women because some of it is ingrained within us..deeply ingrained. From little, little girls we learn that pouting, crying or “acting mad” can get us a lot of attention and often times get us what we want. This is dangerous territory because eventually someone will call our bluff and when they do, it can drive us again, to extreme measures.
Let’s look at another one of the “Matriarchs”. Although these women are heralded for their place in Israel’s history God certainly doesn’t clean them up in any way! I don’t know about you, but I find it totally comforting that these women were not spiritual giants before God used them. In fact, they got it wrong more often than they got it right! And God, in His goodness, displays all of their warts, in living color, on the pages of scripture...for all to read. Can you imagine some of your biggest mistakes and sins being recorded in the best selling book of all time? It makes living in obscurity a welcome blessing! I digress..
Turn to Genesis 25: 27-28; 27:1-17
The key to understanding chapter 27 lies within those 2 verses in chapter 25: “Rebekah loved Jacob.” Right away we can identify one of Rebekah’s idols: her relationship idol in Jacob her son.
Before we move on, it is important to point out that even though we are to have One God that we serve, He can be replaced with many idols. Every single one of these idols that we will study this week I have had in my life at any one time and sometimes all four at once! Just as sin is likened to yeast that grows and multiplies, so idolatry begets idolatry.
So Rebekah is again taking it upon herself to fulfill God’s will instead of allowing God to have it His way. Do we see a pattern here? I mean, let’s learn a lesson from these women, off the page instead of taking the field trip! So, what happens? Yes, Jacob gets the blessing but a family feud of epic proportions ensues! Jacob flees in fear of his life and Rebekah, because she has idolized control, has caused her children to hate one another...although her relationship idol of Jacob was a simmering pot that didn’t need much help to boil!
Now turn to the book of Esther. Esther 4:15-17; 7:1-6
In sharp contrast to the blatant deceit and manipulation in Rebekah, Esther sought the Lord through fasting and prayer. She patiently waited on the Lord for His timing. This is so very important in our lives. More often than not, we rush into things because we attempt to submit our plan for God’s stamp of approval rather than submitting our lives to His sovereign will!
Ladies, when we are at a point when we have determined what we want and we are not willing to take “no” for an answer, when we have tunnel vision and are praying for one particular thing rather than God’s will, when we are looking for anything or anyone who will affirm our plan then we have made control an idol.
When we are in this state of mind we will shut ourselves off from anyone or anything that might talk contrary to what we want. Scripture is clear that it is completely foolish to eschew WISE COUNSEL! Don’t be stiff-necked! Although we may attempt to manipulate and control God by manipulating and controlling people, scripture is crystal clear that God’s plans cannot be thwarted! (Job 42:2)
As we close today, I admit that this idol is very near and dear to me. It seems to be the one that I cling to most closely. I lay it down for a while but then it doesn’t take long for me to pick it up again. I find myself constantly confessing what ultimately boils down to a lack of trust in God’s sovereignty in my life. In my heart, I am deceived into believing that I know not only what is best for me but also what is best for every other person on the face of the earth. It is in those times I am sweetly reminded by the Holy Spirit to “humble myself under the mighty hand of God: (1 Pet. 5:6)
Beloved, any control we think we might have is completely an illusion. We have control over our own attitudes, our obedience in response to the Holy Spirit through the Word and...well, that’s about it! Everything else falls into the hands of a mighty God. I was recently asked how we can really know that God is good. My response to her is my encouragement to you: “If God is not really good then why Jesus and why the cross? Look at the cross sweet one...look at the cross.
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