Be a Nathan!

We've all been there. We've all had the friend that claimed to be a believer but was living out a sinful lifestyle. Some, if not most of us, have been that friend at one time. Everyone around us can see the sin but no one wants to speak up for fear of appearing judgmental or intolerant. It is just so much easier to be a yes man. It keeps the peace and it maintains friendships. But, is keeping quiet really the right thing to do?

In recent years I have adopted the saying, “Be a Nathan”. I’m not sure where the saying originated but I’m a fan. We are all called to be Nathans but in our world of tolerance and fear over offending someone, we have sinned by keeping silent. The church is in desperate need of more Nathans. Will you rise to the high calling of what God has set forth by the TRUTH of His word?

In order to best understand who Nathan is we need to go to the portion of scripture that has to do with Nathan – novel idea I know! Turn with me to 2 Samuel 12. Before you read the chapter let me give you a little background on what has taken place to set the stage for Nathan.

In 2 Samuel 11, David has come upon a woman named Bathsheba as she is bathing on her roof top. It says in verse 1 that this was at a time when kings go out to battle. David, as king, was obviously not out to battle. While his men fought for the kingdom of Israel, David stayed at home. When David saw Bathsheba bathing he inquired about her. “Is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?” The response he got should have been enough to thwart his desire but unfortunately, it was not.

Scripture describes this scenario in James 1:14-15, “But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.” To clarify, lust is not just a sexual desire for someone but can most easily be translated as “a strong desire of the human soul to enjoy or acquire something to fulfill the flesh.” In the case of David, lust was sexual but lust is not always physical in nature.

So David calls for Bathsheba and commits adultery with her knowing that 1)she is a married woman and 2) she is married to one of his soldiers who is out to war. The very next verse, verse 5 says, “The woman conceived; and she sent and told David, and said, ‘I am pregnant.’” Will your sins find you out or will your sins find you out? For David, he didn’t have to wait long to begin to see the hammer fall.

So David concocts a scheme to cover up his sin by calling Uriah in from the battlefield to have some time with his wife. David assumed that Uriah, tired from battle, would have some much needed R&R and then the child could be passed off as his. However, Uriah, being an honorable man declined the invitation and slept at David’s gate because his fellow soldiers were not afforded the same luxury. David attempts to manipulate the circumstances two different times but to no avail. Uriah’s valor could not be corrupted. So David plots to have Uriah killed and even sends Uriah’s death warrant by his (Uriah’s) own hand! Today we would call that
premeditated murder.

Do you see how sin grows in its intensity? Adultery led to lies, corruption and eventually murder. Very rarely does one sin stay within the confines of itself. Sin has a nasty way of growing and demanding more sin in order to cover for the original sin. What is the saying? “Oh what a tangled web we weave when at first we practice to deceive?” I have to give an “Amen” to that one, girls! We close chapter 11 with this verse, “When the time of mourning was over, David sent and brought her to his house and she became his wife; then she bore him a son. But the thing that David had done was EVIL in the sight of the Lord.”

Enter Nathan. Please read all of chapter 12.

What does the very first verse of chapter 12 say? Then THE LORD SENT Nathan to David. Nathan was commissioned by the Lord for the very purpose of confronting David over his sin. Now, let me pause here for a second to point out a few things: Nathan was not vengeful in his confrontation. He presented the parable and confronted David with the word of the Lord. Nathan did not give his own opinion and he didn’t berate David. He left room for the Holy Spirit to convict.

So, what is meant by the statement, “Be a Nathan?” We are responsible as believers to lovingly confront sin in the lives of other believers. As the world has continued to beat the drum of tolerance, the church has conceded. We have sinned by allowing immorality to not only be tolerated but also to be paraded. We have pacified ourselves under the mantra of love for our own comfort all the while the name of Christ is being blasphemed.

Now that we have seen an Old Testament example of confrontation of sin, what does the New Testament have to say? In his first letter to the Corinthian church, Paul addresses a situation of immorality within the church among one of its members. In 1 Cor. 5: 1-13, Paul is instructing them on how to deal with sin among believers. In verses 11a, 12b, 13b, Paul says this, “I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person. Do you not judge those who are within the church? Remove the wicked man from among yourselves.”

Girls, unbelievers are to be evangelized but believers who claim the name of Christ and are practicing unrepentant sin are to be confronted. Not for the purpose of pointing out someone’s failures, not for the satisfaction of being able to say, “I told you so” but for the purpose of maintaining purity within the bride of Christ so that the name of the Lord is not shamed. Sin is serious business in my life and in yours. Sin cost the precious Lamb of God His life. We should be jealous for the costly blood that was shed to pay for our sin and for the name that is above every name; our Savior, our bridegroom, our Life and our Resurrection!

Have you ever felt righteous anger? Have you ever been jealous for the name of the Lord? I’m talking about seeing purity in the church, purity among the people who claim the name of Christ and a hatred of sin that defiles everything it touches. Paul said, “a little leaven leavens the whole lump.” In modern day terminology you would say, “you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas.” In other words, there is no such thing as a little sin. Sin contaminates everything. Just as it only takes a drop of poison to make water that was once pure, deadly; such is the nature of sin.

I write all of this to spur each of us on to restore our sisters in Christ to a purity of life that is for their good and for God’s glory. When we confront for the purpose of restoration we are doing right by our sisters: “If your sister sins, go and show her her fault IN PRIVATE; if she listens to you, you have won your sister” (Matt. 18:15).

In closing, I want to point out a few things that are necessary in the understanding of what it does and does not look like to “be a Nathan” (all taken from the context of Matthew 18):

1) Check your own heart first! Confronting another believer over sin is so serious that scripture warns us to watch ourselves lest we fall into temptation. This is not a time for you to wave the banner of the “brutality of rightness”. This is what I mean – if it would bring you joy to confront this person over their sin then you are not the one to go! The person who is almost sick over it should be the one. It should grieve you to have to confront this sister and you should solely be motivated by love. Is your motive to tear down or restore?

2)The goal should always be restoration! When the shepherd pursues the lost sheep that has gone astray, he is seeking to restore that sheep to the fold. When Nathan confronted David, David’s response is a picture of what we should be praying and hoping will occur. David immediately repented and was restored. This is why David, even though his sins were great, was called, “a man after God’s own heart.” David was always contrite over his sin and moved quickly to repent. Psalm 51 is his response to this confrontation by Nathan. Oh that all would go this way and be restored!

3)Stick to the truth of scripture. You must be able to have a biblical basis for the sin.

4)DO NOT confront on hearsay!!
Scripture says to go PRIVATELY! The first time you confront it should be done in private. This is not a time for majority rules, a gossip session or strength in numbers. The good of the person you are confronting should be the primary concern – not your pride.

5)Lastly and most important, leave room for the Holy Spirit! Often times we expect immediate responses of conviction like David. Sometimes that happens but most often there is anger as an initial response. Do your part but then you must leave conviction to the Holy Spirit and timing of God. I have seen people who are confronted and years later are broken and repentant. Never underestimate God’s providence.

Is this hard? Yes! Does this take courage? Yes! Is this pleasing to the Lord? Yes! The hard thing is more often than not the right thing! Be a Nathan, ladies, be a Nathan!