You know girls that I love you and because I love you I have to say a few things and shoot straight for the sake of Jesus so that His name not be profaned among unbelievers and so that He gets ultimate glory in our lives through which we get the good! I have a lot of young girls sitting across from me on a daily basis, bright, new diamonds on their hands with smiles shining as bright or brighter than any ring ever could. They look over at their soon-to-be husbands with sweet smiles and adoration and respect. You could hardly fit a piece of paper between the two of them. She rubs his arm as she asks “I don’t know, what do you think?” or “I don’t know, you decide.” I realize in that moment that they haven’t gotten anywhere close to being tried by fire in the furnace of marriage!
I don’t say that to make marriage out to be analogous to hell. I say that because marriage is hard and marriage is meant for our sanctification and marriage is meant to display the gospel. In that respect, marriage is a very high calling. So, I know you must wonder when the hammer will fall. Well, here it is: Wives respect your husbands! (Eph. 5:33b). I have to say that I have realized a whole lot about myself and a whole lot about us as women when it comes to how we treat our husbands. Most of the tongue lashings that occur from the pulpit give the husbands a firm talking to and even though most of the words from this passage in Ephesians 5 is written to husbands, the Lord still has instruction for us. Take note!
This all started several weeks ago when I was at the gym one afternoon. I was working out beside a young couple – well, they were working out – I was attempting to work out! Anyway, they were both poster children for fitness. She was young, petite, tan and you could have “launched” a quarter off of any part of her body. He was very much the same however, you could tell that maybe he had enjoyed one too many burgers here or there but not enough to take any measure of negative effect on the overall picture. As I did my planks (face down, which was a good thing) it was all I could do not to intervene! This woman sliced and diced her husband for a solid hour over his eating habits, his “weight gain” and his weak physique. As I looked over at him I could see the bitterness and hatred that was welling up inside of him. It would only be a matter of time…
On my way home, I couldn’t get that scene out of my head. And then it dawned on me: It doesn’t matter how good you look, how fit you are and how much you have on the ball, if you don’t respect your man you are walking on a very thin rope. I have seen lots of men with women who were not as fit, not as smart and not as beautiful as they are handsome and I have wondered, “what gives?” Now, I know! That woman respects her man!
Ladies, let me say this, a man will stay with a woman who makes him feel good about himself! Now, don’t get me wrong, that’s not the whole shooting match but it makes up for lack in other areas. God knew what he was saying when he instructed us to respect our husbands. Men desire respect like we desire love. It is their life blood! When was the last time you took the time to VERBALLY encourage your husband? To thank him for all that he does for your family? To build him up with admiration and honor not expecting a compliment in return? Just pure self-less lip service…
At this point you may be thinking back on the scene at the gym and saying, “that’s not me! I’ve never done that to my husband in a public place before.” Yeah, me neither! But I have in our home and I have in my heart. And you know what? He knows it! Girls, guys might be simple but they aren’t stupid! They know where they stand in your book. You don’t have to say it for them to read your actions, interpret your tone or feel the cold shoulder. A man has to fight for respect everywhere he goes but the one place he shouldn’t have to fight for respect is in his own home from his own flesh! I know you might be saying, “Well, you don’t know my husband.” You’re right. But I don’t have to. I know what the Lord has instructed and I also know that maybe, just maybe your husband is the way he is because your lack of respect has turned into a vicious cycle of selfish, bitterness where you are both withholding what the other wants…and it is sin!
I’ll close with this: we always talk about the Proverbs 31 woman in Christian circles. We put those verses on coffee cups, carry them on our keychains and hang them on plaques in our offices. Well, let me give you a verse straight out of Proverbs 31. Verse 12 says, “She (the wife) does him (the husband) good and not evil ALL the days of her life! All the days! All the days….good and not evil..and that means verbally, that means in her heart.
Girls, if you have a man that loves Jesus, goes to work to provide for you (no matter what his job is!) and he loves you – you have a good man! And..you better tell him so because there are plenty of desperate women out there looking for a good man who will be glad to take him off your hands!! Wives, respect your husbands!
And to my man: Kraig, I love you! Thank you for working hard, loving Jesus, loving our kids, loving me and being home at night! I thank God for you…you are His grace gift to me! Song of Songs 2:10
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