Shopping. Don’t you just love how the word rolls right off your tongue? I have rarely met a woman who doesn’t love to shop or at least dabble in it every once in a while. Even from toddlerhood most little girls begin to gravitate toward accessories and feminine touches. This fetish rarely subsides as we age. There is something that just feeds us as women when it comes to shopping. It appeals to all of the senses and can easily be as good as any medical cure for what ails you!
My daughter is eight. She has discovered Justice. Need I say more? What a retail paradise for little girls! I have to admit that at times it is more fun for me to go there and shop with her than it is to shop for myself! I am immediately transported back to a time when everything had to be pink, frilly and sparkly. (I still favor all of these adjectives when shopping as an adult...I just try to keep the squealing confined...to my head!) However, since our first purchase at Justice, which I think was a $6 bottle of mood changing nail polish, (yes, I have used it myself, unashamedly EEEK!) they have been automatically sending us direct mail circulars not quarterly, not even monthly but weekly! Within the last month we have gotten no less than three mini-catalogues containing coupons galore. No one can say these marketing people don’t know what they’re doing. My daughter is even sold and this is evidenced by the way she so subtly places the coupon, catalog and her “wish list” right next to the coffee pot. She knows this is the one place I will inevitably visit multiple times in one day and so she cunningly implements her plan!
Now, I have to laugh as I type this because this genetic disposition is clearly my fault! If anyone has ever seen my shoe collection there will be no doubt as to the origin of her fascination. Although I have had to learn to temper my shopping sprees as her list of expenses grows, I find that this is something we enjoy as mother and daughter. It doesn’t have to be anything huge, just time spent together, sharing our opinions, laughter and love for all things pink! I have also taken it as an opportunity to teach her about modesty, being a good steward of her money and being a wise shopper. These are all things that the word of God encourages us to do. So, even if she is just shopping for earrings the lessons will hopefully transfer over to larger purchases as she grows and shops on her own.
I feel a fabulous analogy coming on Moms! I will have to say that I have heard, more than once, over the last few months a lot of talk about allowing our children to choose for themselves. Some of us are still holding on to resentment from a strict childhood all these years later and we are making decisions based on being friends with our children instead of parents! I have to qualify, that my children are still young. We have not hit the teen years and as of now the unpopular decisions we make as parents are not causing a severe amount of backlash, at this point. However, I have no doubt that with these two being MY children that this will not last long. (This is where I have to say, thank the Lord for Daddys!) Anyway, with that being stated, I still see so much harm in this whole philosophy first and foremost because it isn’t biblical! Need I say more? But aside from that, I am face to face with many teenagers on a weekly basis through the pregnancy center that are products of parents who are still rebelling themselves! (Side note: I am not saying that this means your child will become pregnant out of wedlock!) The pregnancy is just a symptom of a greater problem. You want to know the irony? Most of them WANT their parents to be their parents! I sat across from a young lady not long ago that said, “My Mom let’s me do whatever I want. I used to have rules but not anymore. I feel like she has just given up, that she doesn’t even want to be my Mom anymore!” How’s that for “my kids don’t listen to me, don’t care what I say and don’t want me to be their parent??”
It is inherent within our sinful flesh to buck the system and rebel against authority. BUT, there is also something within our hearts that makes us feel safe when we have rules and guidelines. Without rules, without laws to protect and govern we would all be lawless. What is there to restrain people without rules? If there was no law to give us the standard of right and wrong and the judicial system to back it up then people would all do what they wanted! Can you imagine the state of our world if that occurred? Murders, theft and all kinds of debauchery would abound! Thank God for rules! Thank God for the law that keeps us safe!
Moms, if we could be eyeball to eyeball I would say this, “You are the parent for a reason!” God has given you this child for you to PARENT!” If children could decide on their own they wouldn’t need parents! Scripture uses words like “train”, “discipline”, “instruct” and “guide” when it comes to parenting. If He had not meant for you to parent He would not have given you this child nor would He have made it so that YOU would be held accountable for their upbringing. Listen, we have so many spheres of influence but none greater than with our children, use it for good! Don’t give up, don’t grow lax, don’t cower! Be courageous and stand firm in the power that the Lord has given you!
So, before you think I’m totally off on a rabbit trail, how does this apply to shopping? You’ve already been to the mall! And probably more than once! Wouldn’t it seem wise to instruct your daughter (children) where to shop? Wouldn’t you tell her what stores charged too high a price or which ones sold cheap merchandise? Wouldn’t you tell her which stores had the best deals and which ones are your favorite? Of course you would! We do this with even the most mundane things in life... “brush your teeth, eat your veggies, get a good nights rest.” So, why, pray tell, would we leave the greater things undone???? Things like relationships, marriage, motherhood, purity and above all ETERNITY? I don’t trust my children, at 8 and 11, to decide anything decent apart from my instruction. They wouldn’t know to brush their teeth by osmosis! They wouldn’t know to eat their veggies if they hadn’t been taught. If they had to choose they would stay up until 2 a.m. every night playing video games and watching t.v.! Most of us have twenty plus years of wisdom, and just plain living, up under us that can benefit our children. Why would you withhold that wisdom from them? Why wouldn’t you tell them? Why?
So, I implore you, indeed I plead with you for our children! Be honest with them. Be open with them about failures and forgiveness and God’s grace in your own life. You don’t even realize the power, the God-given power that you have as a mother to influence the life of your child - for good or for evil. Pray that the Lord would equip you with wisdom, courage, boldness and an unwavering consistency to all that is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, of good repute, excellent and praiseworthy (Phillipians 4:8)!
Scripture says in Proverbs 29:15, “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to themselves brings shame to their mother.” Moms, God has given you a special relationship to your children. The world is trying to sell our daughters (and our sons) a bag of goods that are cheap and come at a price that they cannot afford to pay. We have to speak up! After all of these years, what would you have said to yourself twenty years ago, fifteen years ago, ten years ago? Say it! Speak the truth about the lies of television, movies, internet and culture as a whole. Call them on the carpet and proclaim, “This is not good for you, this is not true and this is sin!” Let’s be diligent in teaching our daughters how to shop. Let’s help them get the best deals with no buyers remorse! You have the knowledge, use it and use it wisely!
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